Friday, July 2, 2010

Inadequate

I love perspective. I love how it teaches you, brings you peace, focus, and clarity.

The older I get the more I realize how inadequate and flawed I am as a woman. As a person. And yet the older I get, the more okay I am with that. I see how futile and wasteful it is to strive for perfection. That there is beauty in my uniqueness.

I recently heard that people who are over 50 are found to be happier and less stressed than those under 50. I think it might be because they have discovered the same thing that I am slowly learning. I think that through their maturity in life, they have learned it is more restful, more joyful, and more peaceful to love yourself as you were created – than to strive to be someone whom you were never meant to be.

I’ve always felt that the more perfect I became, the less I would need to lean on God. Yet I strove for it anyways. For myself. For this inner image I had of what it would mean to be the perfect mental image of “me.” What I failed to see was that if I just allowed God to work in my life, submitted to Him, tilted my face upwards and let Him mold me in His own time….that I would become perfectly as He intended me to be. Maybe I would reside perfectly in a state of heartache for awhile to learn a perfect lesson for my life. Maybe I would be perfectly “antsy” and “uncomfortable” as He shifted priorities in my heart. Maybe I would feel perfectly “alone” in a season of life so that He could perfect my reliance on Him, my courage, and my self esteem!

Perspective.

Inadequacy.

Maybe what the world deems inadequate, God deems workeable.

All I know is that God created me with a purpose; a vision. And I want to fulfill it. In order to do that, I have to be who He intended me to be – whether or not I feel I am ready or perfect.

There is beauty in that knowledge. And peace knowing He finds me lovely right where I am. Because He sees the bigger picture.

2 comments:

Barbie said...

I have to remember that God's perspective of me is always good and beautiful. And it's our uniqueness, hand crafted by the potter that makes us beautiful! Blessings!

Melissa said...

This is so lovely...I am glad I stumbled upon your blog today. God has shown me so much about how my him perfections are invitations to be used by Him...with that in mind, may I strive to be perfectly imperfect!

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