Friday, August 6, 2010

The Fear Tactic

“If you don’t hurry up, I’m going to leave without you!”

I NEVER said that to my kids but I’ve heard it said many times by many parents. I always hated it. I cringe when I hear it.

I realize what a parent is doing. They are trying to scare their child into hurrying up or getting with the program. They are trying to get them to obey. It’s the tactic I disagree with. I feel it’s simply a scare-tactic and I don’t like it nor do I agree with it. For one thing, I would NEVER leave my child alone somewhere. Never! I would hope they would never think I would. So why would I bother to say that to them? Either they’d believe a lie, or I’d be telling them one.

I’ve been in a hurry countless times as a mother. Many times I’d be rushing because of my own lack of planning. It was my fault. I didn’t start getting my child ready early enough or I got distracted with something else and time got away from me. I think most children need some extra time to move along. I’m not encouraging dawdling but simply patience. As they get older, telling them they have 5 minutes or setting a timer work good in a home environment. When you are out in public, sometimes simply stopping what you are doing and helping them grab that choice of item you said they could pick out, or helping them pick up their things goes a long way.

Parenting is a test. It’s frustrating at times, there’s no denying that. I just don’t ever want to have my children submit to me out of fear, but out of love.

But that’s just me.

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