I believe that God has a calling on each one of our lives. Sometimes our free will and choice can mess with that calling. Still, He has dreams for us. Goals. Purposes.
I’ve always believed that God has a special calling on my life. Maybe that calling is bigger than what I can dream for myself. Maybe where I am now is not truly where He is calling me – maybe it’s not the end call but only the beginning.
I find it interesting that as much as I have felt called to certain things in my life, I’ve still fought against God on them. You see, I’ve wanted to fulfill those callings on my terms and within my comfort zones when often God wants to take me outside of those boundaries. He loves to mess with my comfort zones! I told someone once that I’m never comfortable because God never sees fit to let me rest where I’m comfortable. And I still find that to be true for the most part.
Lately, I’ve decided to simply “obey” God on some things. They are things that make me initially panic and fearful. Things I feel ill-equipped for yet things that God seems to be repeatedly bringing up in my life. So I’ve decided to give it a rest and give up my pride and simply obey Him. Just think. I may be doing what He’s asked of me all along… to obey.
Do you know what I’ve discovered in my early early beginnings of obeying Him? I stop worrying as much about messing up. Not only that, but God gives me the courage I need to do what it is He has asked of me. You see – where God calls us – God equips us. We can stop worrying about the delivery or the presentation we give within that calling because He is in control of the outcome. He has an end result in mind and He is simply choosing to use us to achieve it. And achieve it, He will!
I try to control my life too much. God continues to show me that when I want a clear and slow schedule, He wants my time to be used for Him. He has plans for how I use my minutes and my days and I might as well go with His plan because if I don’t go of my own free will, He can choose to take me there kicking and screaming! (Which I have also done. )
We say we have faith in God for all sorts of things but when it comes down to how He wants to use us and our own self esteem issues and inadequacies, we often drop faith at the door. Why is that? Don’t we trust Him with the thing He loves the most – us?
In my own eyes, I may never meet up to the expectations I have for myself in certain areas. But I know that that doesn’t matter to God. He just asks that I obey. If I can enjoy the process and loosen up on my own perfectionistic standards as a result – well then, I think that is even better. For me – not Him.