Sometimes I feel like I’m pushing God. And that concerns me greatly.
There’s a fine line of asking God for things in your life and then drilling home those requests like a biting, nagging, barking, dog.
I want to be an audacious pray-er. Within the last year, that has become something I’ve sought after in my life because I’ve always prayed a little safe-er. I want to be risky in my prayers. I want to be audacious! I know God can not only step up to the job, but surpass it and that excites me to no end. To see Him at work and to feel and see His glory in my life or the lives of those around me.
The problem for me is trying to find a balance between praying audaciously, and praying so much about something that may not be in God’s plans for me. Pushing Him. I get scared thinking that He might answer me and actually say ‘yes’ and then the whole thing will be a disaster because it wasn’t really what God wanted for me all along!
So I seek wisdom. I seek discernment. I pray that God will say ‘no’ to me even if it’s something I really want; if it’s not in His will or plan for my life. I try to keep my motivations pure and I try to acknowledge the different answers and ways that things could come about; preparing myself for what it could cost me.
Then I think sometimes that I’m really “thinking” too much and I simply need to get on my knees and have faith.
I have desires and wishes and dreams in my heart. Whether they are God-planted or “me” planted – they are there. They can be used by Him. They can be flourished by Him. So I can ask Him for anything. I can share my deepest dreams and wishes knowing they are safe with Him. Knowing that He knows my heart.
I don’t want to screw up my life or anyone else’s for that matter. I know there are lots of “unseen” things that are held within the palm of a dream or a wish. Nothing in life is without hurts, scars, or sacrifices.
I can ask God for what I hold within my heart. Then I need to let it go. That doesn’t mean I stop praying about it but it means that I stop clutching it so tightly and holding it in prominence in my life. For if I’m truly abiding by God’s will and wanting only His clear direction and blessing on my life – then whether it’s a ‘yes’ answer or a ‘no” answer; either one is going to somehow set me free. Protect me. Bless me.
Just how much do you “push” an agenda or dream in your life on God? How much do you ask of Him?
I think for me, that I’ve come to the conclusion that if “it” consumes me more than my God consumes me….then I’ve gone too far.
But that’s just me.
I need to give it time. Let it go for awhile. Watch. Listen. And see what God plans to do.
Sometimes I can ruin His unveiling with my constant demands.
Instead of praying with an urgent passion…. I can pray with contentment and peace. Knowing He’s got my best interests at heart and that His timing is always – ALWAYS perfect.