Thursday, March 17, 2011
Ouch, That Hurts!
Sometimes I feel this way. I feel like the “me” that I thought was doing all right was decidedly not because God decides to show me all sorts of areas that fall short, need fixing, are selfish, prideful, or stubborn. Gosh, I hate that. It’s usually an especially painful process which for me – oftentimes means embarrassment, humbling, or tears being shed in some sort of way. I can often think, “How did I not see that, “or “How did I let that area of my life go on in that way without it being checked?”
Painful, I tell ya.
Then the road of life continues on and months go by. Things improve and I improve. (Usually). I try to learn from my mistakes, mind you! And I look back and see in hindsight, that the tweaking was needed. That I like myself better because of the thorns that God removed.
The problem is – I know those seasons will come again. They always come. It’s a part of life. And I believe if I’m truly seeking His heart and wanting to grow and be the best for Him that I can be – that that will mean at some point that God will need to “tweak” me again. For life can so easily creep in! It sneaks in with the dark and I’m oftentimes not even aware that it happened.
For me – as much as I hate those seasons of molding and chiseling, I’m so thankful for them. For I don’t want to be left in those conditions. Not when I get to the other side and can look back and see what has now been refined.
I love that about my God. I love that He sees into the future and knows just what I need, just WHEN I need it. I’m so grateful He’s never content to leave me “less than…”
He really does hear our prayers. If we ask Him to show us the way – He will. It’s just that when we ask, we don’t usually think of the sculpting that needs to be done on us in the process.