I was talking to some friends awhile back about sacrificing our agenda for God’s. I was having a tough time during the middle of some hassles in life. I had been giving and giving and giving and just felt…empty. Done. Spent.
I had a little breakdown. It’s amazing how good it can feel to let go of pent up emotions, sometimes! After my tears were shed…I was reflecting on my conversation. And God tenderly spoke to my heart.
You see…. Part of my frustration was that I gave and gave and gave. I would often give of myself and not get. I’d get nothing in return, because by nature, that’s who I am - a giver. But in the process, I’d deplete myself. I’d move on and give and give and give – and again, not get. So I became drained.
What did God tell me, you might ask? He told me that it’s not about me. I can give and give and give because God doesn’t want it to be about me. Somehow in the process of giving up of myself, of that sacrifice of “me” I learn valuable things. And even though in my mind’s eye, nothing is for me, through the process of giving up of my pride and my agenda – God is doing everything FOR me. He is working through me and for me even though I don’t observe that anything is ABOUT me. Does that make sense? It did to me at the time.
Sacrificing my agenda is not easy. I have dreams. I have wishes. I have goals that I want for my life. But God often asks me to lay these down at His feet. To give them up and to instead, give of myself. Oftentimes, getting nothing in return except the feeling of knowing you did something good….right…and pleasing to Him.
It’s ALL about us. We may not think we’re getting anything out of the deal – but God is working. He’s crafting us.
When those times of frustration come and you are feeling spent – remember that God loves you and He sees what you are doing. He knows your motivation and your heart. He has not left your side nor has it escaped His attention that you are frustrated and emotionally low. Hang in there. Let the tears out, should they come. For sometimes tears point you to the truth. Ask for prayer. And then continue to be faithful. For just because God doesn’t want everything to be about us in OUR mind’s eye, just remember it truly is all about us. He’s working in you as you lay down your pride, selfishness, and control. He’s doing it ALL for you so that when all is said and done, you will be beautiful – inside and out.