You can’t make people value you. I’ve tried.
I’ve tried to give them things, love them with all of my heart and be there to help out whenever and wherever. Somehow – with some people, certain things are just lost in the translation.
I think it’s because they are viewing things with a heart that is “me” focused. When I say that, I’m not necessarily saying that they are unkind people. Merely they are people who have a circle created around their world and they have not learned (or have not been taught) how to open that circle to include others.
Usually, their life is focused on what they are going through or feeling. So you can give them everything under the sun – but they will still not see the value in who you are as a person, or how much you could mean to them. It’s just not gonna happen.
So what do you do?
Well, for me, I pull back. I still love them. I still maintain integrity in all of my dealings with them. I want to be honorable in all I do. But I pull back. I don’t invest my heart in someone who it is not safe with and I don’t invest my time in someone who does not appreciate it. If these people mean something to me, then I pray for them. I love them, but in order to protect the emotional health of my own life – I pull back. I let them discover (in God’s timing – if He so wills it) that I am someone that could be a dear, cherished person in their heart and life. But that is something that they have to decide and choose. I can’t do it for them by buying them, hoping it for them, or simply being extra good to them.
It’s sad that some people just simply overlook, ignore, or fail to see what’s right in front of them. But it’s life.
Most people have some sort of relationship in their life that fits within these certain dynamics.
Relationships and friendships are messy. They bring deep joy and great pain. They support you in life’s toughest moments and they let you down as well.
We are human.
It never feels good to be taken advantage of. To be taken for granted. It’s not fun to feel like others always assume you’re “okay” with things. But it’s life.
If you’re in one of these relationships, don’t give up. Don’t bail out. Just pull back and let God do the work that needs to be done in their lives (and sometimes your own.)
Let Him nurture and protect your heart and soul, while prodding and pricking another’s.