God requires a lot of bending from me. In fact, I sometimes feel like I will forever be in a “bent” posture. (I know this isn’t so – but it feels that way.)
My pride so often needs to be bent. My dreams need to be bent. My will. My wishes. My planning. My control. All need to bend. To make room for God to work.
Bending is painful. It’s not fun. Even if it’s not painful, it’s painful emotionally because a lot of times you are crying over what you feel is unfair. Unspoken. Unmet.
It’s about sacrifice. Letting go. Giving in. Giving up.
And this is life we are talking about here. Not everything has a fairy tale ending. Just because you bend and give something up doesn’t mean a better outcome will take its place. No. Sometimes things are still left unfair. Unsettled.
But I’ve learned that it’s far better to bend – than to break. Especially out of disobedience.
If I hear God whispering to my heart; prompting me and I ignore Him? He will bring me to my knees quicker than I can say my own name. He’s so good at that. Humbling me. Making me see that obedience is far better than willful stubbornness.
I can hold onto my own agenda. My own control. My own loss. But it gets me nowhere.
So I bend. Sometimes out of love for my Lord. Sometimes out of fear. Sometimes because I know I have no alternative. Sometimes bending is a last resort for me. And then I see how I wish I would have come to it much sooner.
A piece of glass that is bent turns into a beautiful piece of artwork. As am I. I am God’s artwork. Only He can see the results of the process.
I might not get what I humanly want. But yet I’m still richer inside. Softer. Genuine. Generous. I gain more than I lose when I bend. For it’s about my soul. My eternity. And maybe someone else’s as well.
If I can only take my eyes off of myself. The bending would come so much more naturally. Freely.
So I continue to learn in my bending. And I continue to bend. For there is no other way if I want God to be Lord of my life.