God has been speaking to my heart lately about not trusting Him enough. Which sounds a bit odd because I have had such a strong and steady faith ever since I was a little girl. But, yes, that’s exactly what He is telling me.
You see, I’m a “play it safe” kind of girl. I like my comfort zones. And although I do stretch them at times (when forced), I don’t often “risk.” Let me explain.
I’m a very frugal person when it comes to money. I shop sales and clearance racks and often have a “set” amount in my head that I won’t go over for jeans, tops, shoes, etc. I always ration my money and have a certain amount left over from payday to payday – just in case. Which sounds smart and wise in theory right? But by doing this, I don’t often take leaps with my finances and trust that God will provide. I’m not talking about spending recklessly, but just trusting Him if something comes up.
Also, when it comes to life – I often play it safe. Which also sounds wise in theory. But how can I exercise my faith and trust that God will take care of me if there is no risk involved? When I stay in safe territory, things are controlled so God has no room to work. No room to show me His deep love for me by providing, rescuing, or showing off for me.
So although I may have been feeling like my walk with the Lord has been steady and unwavering, in reality, sometimes it’s simply been “safe.”
Realizing this doesn’t instantly make me an adventurous person. But it opens my eyes. And it shows me that God wants to work in ways that maybe I’ve shut off from Him in the past. The exact things that Satan causes me to fear might be the exact ways that God wants to do amazing things on my behalf. I need to re-think my “safe” ways of living and my closed off heart from those things that may seem edgy or risky to my heart and I instead, need to truly listen to see if God is prompting me to go to that unchartered territory.
I need to trust Him with those things that scare me. Otherwise, there really is no sense in me having faith in Him – if I don’t exercise it.
I know my God loves me. I just need to give Him a chance to prove it.