There is a movement in homes today. One that I see can possibly be very harmful. It is the movement of the woman becoming the “head of the household.” She may not claim that she is, but she is.
Women are natural controllers. We are! We like to control our children’s behaviors, the clutter within our homes, what time we eat, WHAT we will eat, where we will go, our daily schedules and so much more. Without batting an eyelash, oftentimes, our control extends to our husbands. We tend to belittle them and emasculate them a little.
Our men are made just as God wanted them. We should not try to change them – yet pray for them and ask that God only enhance their strengths and whittle away at their weaknesses. Mind you, the things that God sees as weaknesses may not be the same things WE see as weaknesses! And we need to allow them to be the head of the household.
It is a gift and a blessing to be able to nurture and care for our spouses. They would move heaven and earth for us, if allowed to! We can enjoy their strength and the solidarity that it brings to our lives.
When our homes are functioning the way that God intended them to, we can “feel” the rightness in it all. If we are trying to control things, it only tweaks everything out of proportion. Our husbands resent us for it, we are irritated and demanding because we don’t see them as sitting in the position that God intended for them and life just doesn’t live out the way that it’s supposed to.
I’ve learned that as much as I try, I can never control another person. They have free will and free choice. It is more in my best interest to learn how to live out by example and influence by my positive words, actions, love, and life than it is to ever force someone to do or be a certain way. Usually when I go at life in this approach I only harm the relationship or create resentful feelings.
Women – we need to fight against the world telling us that in order for our lives to be right we need to do things ourselves. We need to learn to let our men be strong for us and be the warriors that God intended for them to be. All they need is for us to give them a chance. They truly want to rise up and be an authentic man and we often get in their way and hinder them instead of being an asset in their lives.
Give your man a chance. Learn to relinquish that stronghold of control that you try to keep such a tight reign on in your home. It’s truly freeing to give up some of that responsibility that is not meant to weigh on your shoulders. Realize the value, importance, and reward that is to be found in YOUR position and watch how God can weave everyone together to function as He intended. You’ll all win if working on the same team instead of fighting amongst yourselves for the head position and you’ll each learn how your role was meant distinctly for you. No one else can fill those shoes but the person for which they were meant.
~ Blog archives, March 21, 2008