As my girls get older, I find myself treading new waters of trying to find a good balance in being “mom” and in letting them have their own identity and independence that is separate from me. It’s very well known that mothers have a hard time separating from their daughters. In return, daughters can often feel suffocated or that “mom” is being controlling or pushy which ends up putting a wedge in the relationship once they are grown.
In my heart, I want to find the perfect balance. I want to be close to my daughters while letting them feel like they have their space. That’s not always an easy feat!
I think though, that I have found one treasure that might help me do this. One little secret way of staying involved and a participant in my daughters’ lives as they grow up, while still letting them feel like they are successfully separating. That is by tapping into my “girl power.”
You see; I am a girl first. Before being a mom, a daughter, a wife…I am a girl. Female. I love girly things. Having two daughters, I understand their love for girly things, as well. I understand how a bad hair day can affect your whole attitude and outlook for the day. I understand how sometimes the only thing that seems to make something better is a piece of chocolate. And I understand the silly, giggly things that only other females can understand.
Some of the closest and most joyful times I have with my daughters, as they are becoming young women, is by simply enjoying being girls together. They don’t feel like I’m being “mom” all the time and yet I’m able to have a “voice” and an “ear” as we engage in girl fun together. We try on clothes together and love to be in dressing rooms near each other so that we can showcase our pieces and get opinions. We hunt for deals. We paint our nails and toes together relishing in the color selection. We’ve even had a pedicure and manicures done together! Girl time. Girl fun. Things that we will continue to engage in together as they become women. Things that don’t put one person in charge over the other or stress sharing endless feelings and emotions --- yet somehow encourage conversation and sharing just the same.
Whether it’s lunch out at a favorite spot, getting a new purse or earrings, or going to a movie together – girl time with my children has become a precious jewel and treasure. I hope that as they get used to doing these things with me that they will continue to seek me out as they do them for years to come. Bonding time. Laughing time. Loving time.
It’s one of the best ways to stay connected and the most fun without a lot of pressure. Exploring and enjoying our God-given natures as females…together.