I tend to wear a serious expression on my face when I’m not smiling. It’s not a conscious thing. It just happens. I’ve looked at many candid pictures and video (which I love by the way) and seen my own expression. I sometimes look mad. But I’m not.
My husband once told me that when I smile, my whole face and countenance change. And I’ve been told ever since I was little, that people love my smile. So why do I look so serious when not smiling? I’m not sure – but maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m a deep thinker. Not deep as in “theological.” No – no. My mind is too simple for complex things like that. But I’m a deep thinker as in I’m always pondering life and the best way to navigate it. How to be the best mom, wife, Christian. How to handle certain situations, solve dear ones’ hurts – stuff like that. Deep thinking.
The thing is – I don’t want people to think I’m mad just because I’m not smiling. I want to have a kind look about me – a warm, approachable, loving look.
So I’m trying to be intentional about my thoughts. Instead of furrowing my brow and going into “intense” thought all the time, I’m trying to consciously choose to be joyful in my thoughts. To enjoy the weather, the scenery, watching my children, etc. I’m trying to be thankful and I’m trying to be content – in my thoughts. Mind you, I feel like I’m those things most of the time. But my thoughts don’t constantly revolve around them. I think too much.
I think it’s okay for me to be serious while I’m on the computer or when reading. If I’m intent on getting a stain out of the carpet or cleaning up a mess – okay. Serious mode. But I don’t have to “wear” the face of intensity all of the time. I think it might sometimes give others the wrong impression of me. I can only imagine what I look like as I listen to a sermon in church!
I don’t have to smile constantly. I don’t have to always be laughing or be animated. But I can relax. I can enjoy. I can love the moment I’m in. Those things show in my face. And you can bet I want to wear them.