Have you ever felt like you were truly ready? Ready for that job to come along, that amazing ministry opportunity, that baby, that romance, that (fill-in-the-blank?)
You. Were. Ready.
I know the feeling well. The feeling of the thrill that might reveal itself just around the corner. The feeling of anticipation, which is usually accompanied by impatience. The feeling of “this is right for me.”
It’s a good feeling. That feeling of knowing you have put in the legwork, and you are ready. Only problem is; sometimes God doesn’t agree with us.
I then look back and wonder, just what it was that was incomplete in me. Lacking. Ill-equipped. Flawed. Why wasn’t I picked? Why wasn’t I right? Why is it so hard to get what I want, when I want it so that I can simply feel blessed, and joyful in celebration?
When I experience those feelings, the frustration and depression that comes along with them…. I realize the reason God didn’t agree with my point of view, lies in the questions I ask.
I focused on ME.
It’s okay to have wishes and desires. It’s human. It’s natural. It’s expected. But those wishes and dreams can grow to become too important. They become our everything. Our “all.”
I believe God is excited when my dreams come true. I believe He smiles when I’m happy and celebrating. But I also believe that He knows best. If the timing is not right for me, as frustrated and sad as I may be – the truth remains; the timing is not right for me. If I’m not right for the position or opportunity; then I’m not right. I can’t “wish” myself into being right. But not being right for something doesn’t mean I’m not valuable. Oftentimes, I’ve looked back and seen just why things didn’t work out. And I’ve understood.
So, I may feel ready. And in all reality, I may BE ready. But others may not be ready for me. God may not be ready for me to put in the time, or work that is needed, for His plan to be fulfilled. And I have to be okay with that if I truly believe in Him and believe in what He says He wants for me.
I know there will come a day when I will be fully ready for something I’ve been waiting for, and it will all pull together flawlessly. When this happens, all the other days of incomplete dreams will come into clarity and I will feel fulfilled. I will be up to the task.
I will one day be picked; chosen; loved. For ME. And it will be worth every moment of expectation and delay.