When you have kids, it can be hard to continue to keep the flicker alive in your marriage. After all, who feels romantic when they are wiping up baby food, spit-up, and messes all day long? Usually, a young wife just wants to throw up her feet at the end of the day and tell her husband, “Here! The kids are yours!” Those moments don’t exactly speak of love and romance.
There is a way to do little things for your spouse along the way. Things that don’t take much effort or cost. Things you can do right at home. Things that keep the romance alive so that you can steal minutes here and there for one another.
Here is a list of 10 things my husband and I did for each other at one point or another when we were in our first few years of marriage. We didn’t have a lot of extra money and we’d moved away from family, so we didn’t have any sitters when our kids were young. These ideas were easy, romantic, and worked for us in reminding us that we still needed to focus on each other.
1. Pull the mattress off your bed and place by the fireplace and in front of the television. (If both are possible.) Light some candles, and watch a pay-per-view movie, or rent one. This, of course, must be done after the “littles” are in bed. Go to sleep on the mattress by the fire.
2. Take a bubble bath together. Again, this can be done after the kids are asleep. Light candles all around the bath, play some romantic music, and just relax together.
3. Put a love note or card in his car. When he leaves for work first thing in the morning, he will climb into his car and find a note from you. (Sometimes you can add his favorite candy!) What a great way to start his day away from home….with a smile on his face, and thoughts of you!
4. When making pancakes for breakfast, make your spouse ones that are in the shape of a heart. You can also do this with cookies by using a cookie cutter.
5. In the warm summer months, sit out on the back patio after dark. Sit on a porch swing together or grab a blanket and lay out on the grass and look up at the stars.
6. Oftentimes, we are too tired at the end of the day to want to do anything but sleep. So, instead you can focus on the morning. On a Saturday, give your spouse the day off. Tell them to enjoy the day in bed. They can read, watch movies, or write. Bring them meals and just let them have a day of R&R with you pampering them. This takes a little more effort, but the rewards are so worth it later on.
7. Do a couples devotional together at bedtime. Some have very easy chapters that aren’t long, but just give a “nugget” of information to chew on together. Take turns reading a chapter each night.
8. Eat together by candlelight after the kids are in bed. Make it an indoor picnic by throwing a blanket on the floor and drinking out of your wedding goblets (if you had some).
9. Leave little notes. You can slip notes in his sock drawer, on a paper pad that he uses, in his pants pocket, etc. Place notes in places that he will find right away – and some that he won’t find for a while. Just let him know that you love and appreciate him.
10. Do small chores for him. Take out the garbage. Sweep the garage. Clean his grill. Bring him a cold drink when he’s out mowing the yard or a warm one when he’s hanging Christmas lights. Show him you appreciate the efforts he makes around the house.
I’m sure you can think of many more ideas to add to this list. But hopefully, this will help you get started and remind you to focus on one another even when life seems dreadfully busy.
For the best parents are happily married ones!