Oh, the heart and head. They can run off in so many different directions – all at once.
A soul doesn’t always know exactly what to believe; what to feel. It can seek to pray the right ways, but doubt it’s own motives. It can want something that it feels is best – but question whether it’s God’s best.
It needs confirmation. Confirmation that the direction you are headed in, is the right one. Confirmation that the prayers uttered from your lips, are the right ones. Confirmation that the tears you shed, aren’t in vain. That the instincts you hold are on target, and the wishes you hold tightly to your heart, are God-given.
We all seek confirmation at times. We all look for that rainbow in the sky. We all want that blatant sign to tell us what to do, where to go, and how to pray.
Sometimes, there is simply silence.
I’ve learned that silence doesn’t mean God isn’t working. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t hear you. Oftentimes, He IS working. He is moving and setting things in motion for the right results. It’s just not always on our timetable.
And it can be hard. It can be so hard to seek and feel like you are lost. I know. I understand. I’ve been there so many times.
“I just need confirmation,” I’ve cried out to God. But the great thing about my God is that He always stretches and grows me during these times. He shows me how to rely on my faith instead of the “seen” things. He shows me how He was with me always during those times, and He reminds me gently, that He is always faithful. Always.
I still ask for confirmation, sometimes. But if it doesn’t come, I wait. I continue to pray and I continue to seek. For I know one day, His hand will appear before me in a most glorious way. In a personal and loving way.
And my heart and soul will have its answer.