Sometimes we want to lead. We want to have control of our life and a situation or circumstance going on in it. We want to walk in the direction that we see fit, and hope that God will bless it along the way.
Let’s face it, we don’t always want Him holding our hand and walking step by step with us unless He lets us choose the course of the direction we are walking in.
It’s the truth, yes?
In our heart of hearts, we DO want God’s blessing in our lives. We DO want Him to be with us and to guide us as we make decisions and choices. But often, we want to make those choices on our own – without consulting Him. And then, we want Him to stamp an approval on it.
And we wonder why we struggle.
I am so guilty of wanting things to go in the direction that I think is the right one. I can have quite the ‘heart-to-heart’ talk with my Lord in trying to convince Him that my way is the best way. As if He doesn’t really know the BEST way! Who am I trying to kid? My way is usually – simply – my way.
We often operate in fear. Fear of losing someone, some thing, or some control in our lives. Fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of anything. We let that fear dominate our faith. We let it take over.
I don’t know about you, but I hate it when I do that. And I’ve done that time and time and time again.
I want to instead, choose peace. I want to trust in my Lord and Savior; that He knows what He’s doing, even if that DOING might cause me heartache. I want to let HIM choose the direction and course of things – not me. I don’t want to fight against Him or try to talk Him into my logic.
It’s hard not to do those things. So hard. Some battles are so personal and so emotional that it can take everything we have, to just cling to God in that trust. But my God has ALWAYS, ALWAYS been faithful to me. He is good to me. And I want to trust. Not because I believe I will get my way, but because I believe that HIS way will be the best way.
It’s scary – this letting God choose the outcome thing. I still have to fight against the mentality of thinking that my way should be the right way. I have to swallow a lot of pride and fear. But, I want to know God’s heart more. I want to hear and see Him more. And I think the best way to do that; is if I get out of His way.
Everything I am, and everything I believe in, is riding on my faith and trust in God – especially when I have so much at stake in certain decisions and circumstances. But, that’s who I want to be. That’s HOW I want to be. For I’d much rather be walking through challenging issues in life holding God’s hand, than walking alone and hoping He’ll catch up and accompany me.