Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Refreshment In the Storm

God truly does care about us.

I was having a really tough time in a certain battle. The timing of it, the subject of it, and the fact that it seemed to attack my judgment, self esteem, and self-worth made it exceptionally difficult for me to navigate. There wasn’t a day that didn’t go by where I didn’t think about it at some point and get physically sick to my stomach.

I’m a very sensitive person by nature so Satan knew this was a soft spot for me. And he took advantage with gusto.

I prayed Scripture verses. I cried out loud to God. I tried to be still and let Him fight for me. I tried to let Him fill me with peace and to have faith and a strength that I know only could come from Him. For some reason, they all felt allusive. They kind of crept in but then would rush out just as easily. It was a storm of great force in my life and in my heart. I felt like I was desperately trying not to lose my mind. Doubt would rush in and make me question everything about myself.

But God knows.

I think I was nearing the end of my own “grip” on holding on. Not that I would do anything drastic, but just that I was at a point in this battle where the Lord knew I needed a sign from Him. I needed some hope to go on. Mind you – this battle wasn’t life altering. It was just pointed. Pointed directly at me, and it hurt. So when I got to the point where I was barely hanging on to the hope and peace I knew was there for me, God brought me refreshment in the form of His people.

He’s done that before you know. When I look for it, it never seems to come but when I’m not looking or expecting words of encouragement and only trying to hold onto Him – there it is. He sends it to me. He knows. He knows I need refilling.

I got two gifts from Him on this particular day. One from someone I love dearly and who knew I was struggling. The other from a stranger. Someone who just wanted me to know I was making a difference – that God had used me to minister to her in her time of need. Both brought tears to my eyes and healing to small tears in my heart.

They didn’t solve everything. In fact – they solved nothing. But they built up my strength to persevere another day. And that was what I needed.

If you are in a battle and you feel as if you are barely hanging on, I bet you anything that God has refreshment on its way to you in your storm; just as He sent to me. And may that refreshment be like a hug from Him to you letting you know He’s still there, watching. You are not alone and He won’t leave you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, Dionna!! Thank you so much for sharing :) I needed to read that today!

May your day be truly blessed!!