Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Look At Me - Look At Me!

Authenticity. It’s something I am constantly striving for in my own life. I want to be an authentic, genuine, REAL woman. I don’t want people to ever feel like they get pretenses with me.

There’s something kind of off-setting about the life of a writer. For me, (and I assume a lot of other writers) we enjoy some solitude. It’s in the quiet moments of life that we can get contemplate, think, and soak up life. It’s when we have time by ourselves that we get reflective and can pen our deep introspections to paper.

Yet in order to get your words read – you usually have to promote them. In the life of bloggers and internet writers, marketing is something that propels you to the masses. If you don’t tout your achievements, you get overlooked quickly…and forgotten.

This ambitious nature of getting noticed is something I am constantly struggling with. The more people know about me, the more hearts I can impact. Hopefully, with my words, the more souls I can inspire and motivate in a positive way. One of my greatest burdens is the fact that there are so many lonely people out there navigating life as if no one cares. They are hurting. They are broken. And they are wounded.

I want to reach them. I want to help them feel loved.

Yet – the two-edged sword comes out. The more broadcasting you do about your work, your site, or your ministry – the more you end up promoting yourself. Bragging, as it were.

That’s the part I struggle with.

I want to let people know I’m here, yet I don’t want to focus on me. Because without “Him” I wouldn’t be doing what I do. I wouldn’t be me.

I don’t want to look back on my life and see that it was a marquee simply shouting “Look at me! Look at me!” No, I want my life to be one of humility, grandiose love, and audacious prayers and dreams.

I’m thinking the more we do without public notoriety or anyone noticing, the more authentic we are. The more genuine our hearts are. And maybe the more we do with the knowledge of getting noticed ….well, the less pure we are in motives and intent.

“Lord, may you help me balance on this fine line. May I never promote myself to the point that it’s all about me and you are simply overlooked and ignored. You are the true author of every word that comes out of my heart.

I’d rather be happy with who you’ve made me to be, than ever sell my soul to be known to a nation.”


Susan Shipe said...

I struggle with the same thing, Dionna; however, if Father has blessed with a gift and the ability to share it with more people then I don't think it is self-serving to promote - are we promoting ourselves or are we proclaiming Christ and Him crucified? I see your heart in this piece...your heart NOT you seeking self-gain. Hope this makes sense!

R. Reed said...

Yours is the second blog I have read today including the theme of authenticity. It is something I have been thinking so much about lately, especially this week with the death of my dad. It's so comforting to know that other women ponder the same things and are willing to admit it.

Dionna said...

Thank you - both of you.

Dionna said...

R. Reed - I am so terribly sorry about the death of your father.