Friday, March 4, 2011

Walk Through Life With Me

Inadequacy. Some people just have a gift. They have a way of making me feel inadequate.

I’m not sure why or what it is, but ever since I was a little girl – there are certain people that I’ve aspired to be welcomed by. I’ve wanted to feel included; a part of their circle. I think most girls are this way. Whether it’s that one popular girl or a certain crowd/group that we want to be a part of - we all know that feeling.

No matter what you do, you just don’t feel like you quite measure up.

Thank heavens God has been working on my heart in this area! I thank and praise the Lord so much that He has been boosting my self esteem and showing me my value that comes from Him and no one else! And I think I’ve finally put my finger on why it is that I always felt inadequate around certain people. It was because I felt like they were walking a step ahead of me, before me, or above me – instead of walking through life with me.

You see, I actually need someone in my life who isn’t perfect. I need friends and relationships with people who are genuine, honest, and flawed. For it is with these people that you find understanding and warmth. It is with these people that you know you are accepted for who you are; never having to strive to be something you are not.

I no longer desire to be a part of a friendship or group where I am made to feel like I have to rise to a certain standard or image. I love being around people who motivate me to be a better person, but not people who look down on me for things they feel might not measure up (whatever “up” is to them!)No, I now long for imperfect friends. Friends who can feel good in their own skin and admit their mistakes. Friends who can walk alongside of me in life instead of having to walk in front of me all of the time.

And I hope I can be that kind of friend, as well.


Carol said...

Donna that is a great piece of wisdom and also a good prayer piece, I am going to try to have friend's that are a healthy friendship for me.

Love and God Bless Carol

Zhanna said...

I have always had to deal with that inadequate feeling all 12 years of school, especially high school.

And there were times where I recently had that feeling in church. Sad, isn't it? To actually have that feeling at a church where everyone is called to genuine fellowship. There are a few young woman that I have tried to establish a relationship with and since they weren't exactly welcoming, it made me feel extremely inadequate. I almost felt like I was back in high school trying to win someones approval.

Its not a very good feeling.

And I agree wholeheartedly that we do need friends who are not perfect, who are honest with themselves and others and who genuinely love us just the way we are yet push us to be everything God has called us to be.

Dionna said...

Carol - I hope you find those healthy friends that you seek. Thanks so much for stopping by!

Zhanna - Nice to hear from you again. :) I understand and agree that it's sad when we feel inadequate at church. That is the place we should feel the most at home! You're right - it's not a very good feeling.

I hope you find some women who welcome you with open arms and love you for you.