Thursday, October 13, 2011

When You're Not Chosen

We’ve all been there.  We’ve all experienced that “moment” when we realize we were not chosen for something that we had set our hopes upon. Maybe it was a job, a spot in an exclusive women’s “group,” or simply an invitation to a party. It could be that we felt overlooked to hold a privileged position or that we felt more gifted than someone else in an area and yet – we were not chosen.

It always stings. Always, doesn’t it? We can pretend sometimes that we are okay and that it doesn’t bother us very much…but it usually does. (If we’re honest with ourselves.)

And I wish I could give you some really sage and wise advice on how to handle it. But I’m right there with you. I struggle with it when it happens to me. It doesn’t seem fair and sometimes it’s just plain discouraging.

So what’s a girl to do?

I keep coming back to the fact that I simply have to trust in my God. I may not understand. I may feel like a reject…but I have to trust in my God. It’s the only thing that can possibly shed the proper perspective on something that feels so wrong.  And when I lift my chin up to God as my Heavenly Father and I feel like that small, little girl – I somehow know that He is cradling me in His arms and holding me until I can get my own determination and courage back again. Courage to be myself – even if and when I feel rejected by others. Determination to continue hoping; knowing that I risk getting hurt again. Yes, my God fuels those traits in me time and again.

It occurs to me that God often, is not chosen. He knows how it feels to want something so much and yet not see it happen. And yet He still loves. He still gives. And He still opens His heart and arms to us. Time and time again.

Maybe we’re not chosen because someone truly doesn’t like us. Maybe we’re not chosen at times because it is just not God’s will. Or maybe we’re not chosen because of simpler logic and reason – someone didn’t realize we wanted something or that it mattered so greatly to us. But whatever the reason, we have to come to the point that we can say, “I will keep trying. I will keep hoping. I will keep wanting.” For when we grow hardened and cold and don’t have the stamina to “keep on keeping on” then that is when we truly lose – not just for a moment, or occasion – but for forever.

Everyone is rejected at one point or another. Everyone is overlooked, taken for granted, and ignored. It happens. It’s never fun. But we are more than what others “rate” us as.

Trust God. Let Him love on you through the tough moments and let Him show Himself to you in a way and time like never before. He’ll be extra tender and He’ll know just how to renew your heart – if you let Him.

Remember – He knows what it’s like not to be chosen.

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