There is a movement in homes today. One that I see can
possibly be very harmful. It is the movement of the woman becoming the “head of
the household.” She may not claim
that she is, but she is.
Women are natural controllers. We are! We like to control
our children’s behaviors, the clutter within our homes, what time we eat, WHAT
we will eat, where we will go, our daily schedules and so much more. Without
batting an eyelash, oftentimes, our control extends to our husbands. We tend to
belittle them and emasculate them a little.
Our men are made just as God wanted them. We should not try
to change them – yet pray for them and ask that God only enhance their
strengths and whittle away at their weaknesses. Mind you, the things that God
sees as weaknesses may not be the same things WE see as weaknesses! And we need to allow them to be the
head of the household.
It is a gift and a blessing to be able to nurture and care
for our spouses. They would move
heaven and earth for us, if allowed to! We can enjoy their strength and the
solidarity that it brings to our lives.
When our homes are functioning the way that God intended them to, we can
“feel” the rightness in it all. If we are trying to control things, it only
tweaks everything out of proportion. Our husbands resent us for it, we are
irritated and demanding because we don’t see them as sitting in the position
that God intended for them and life just doesn’t live out the way that it’s
supposed to.
I’ve learned that as much as I try, I can never control
another person. They have free will and free choice. It is more in my best
interest to learn how to live out by example and influence by my positive
words, actions, love, and life than it is to ever force someone to do or be a
certain way. Usually when I go at life in this approach I only harm the
relationship or create resentful feelings.
Women – we need to fight against the world telling us that
in order for our lives to be right we need to do things ourselves. We need to
learn to let our men be strong for us and be the warriors that God intended for
them to be. All they need is for us to give them a chance. They truly want to
rise up and be an authentic man and we often get in their way and hinder them
instead of being an asset in their lives.
Give your man a chance. Learn to relinquish that stronghold
of control that you try to keep such a tight reign on in your home. It’s truly
freeing to give up some of that responsibility that is not meant to weigh on
your shoulders. Realize the value, importance, and reward that is to be found
in YOUR position and watch how God can weave everyone together to function as
He intended. You’ll all win if working on the same team instead of fighting
amongst yourselves for the head position and you’ll each learn how your role
was meant distinctly for you. No one else can fill those shoes but the person
for which they were meant.
~ Blog archives, March 21, 2008
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