Saturday, March 17, 2012

It Leaves An Impression

When I had a kidney stone when my oldest daughter was in first grade – it was a dramatic event. That night was followed by a change in lifestyle for me as far as what I drank. Soda (something I’d formally adored) became an indulgence instead of an everyday occurrence. Water became my best friend.

The pain and trauma of what happened left an impression on me.

When my husband and I fought a physical and spiritual battle for what seemed like forever – one that resulted in going to court to fight for our rights – I was changed. I saw life differently after that.

Every “almost” traumatic health crisis….every “close call” with my kids – every little mistake I made that almost ended up into a HUGE life changing mistake …they all have left huge impressions on my heart and my life.

And God has changed me bit by bit, step by step through each one.

I look back and I’m so humbled. I’m so thankful.  The pain is still so near to my heart that I can almost touch it. That’s how much some things in life are still held so close to me. For I know – I saw and I felt so much through each one.

I look back and yes, sometimes there is a glimmer of sadness over having had to go through certain things or deal with things. Sometimes I grieve over a loss that occurred. But I’m also acutely aware of how indebted I am to my Lord for changing me – molding and shaping me into a better person through each thing.

I think (I certainly hope) that I’m more of who God wants me to be after having had to deal with some of it. I pray to be stronger, less doubtful, and more ready to listen to God’s voice when it comes. If I should lose my way, I know He will come in with a strong wind or a whisper on the breeze and remind me of what I could lose – all that I have invested.

Yes, life leaves an impression. But so does my God.

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