Thursday, March 8, 2012

What I Find Special, My Children May Not Find Special

I am very sentimental. I have many things from my childhood that I’ve just struggled to get rid of. Stuffed animals, photos, baby toys, etc. I also have things from my kids when they were babies and things from when I was dating – like a shirt my husband wore so often when he’d pick me up at the door.

They are special.

As time goes on, I am learning that what I find special and sentimental…my kids necessarily do not. So many things I have kept with the intention of passing them down to them. But the hard fact is, that they will only want some of them. Maybe even only a few.

I can’t force my children to find the same specialness in an item, that I find.

For example: my wedding dress.  Now it’s sat in my closet for all these years. I knew that my children may not want it, but I thought maybe they’d want a “part” of it. Sure enough, my oldest daughter has no interest in it whatsoever. My youngest? There’s still hope, for she’s telling me to hang on to it for her….for the time being.

But how about all those baby clothes I kept? I’ve kept special outfits so that my grandkids could some day wear them again and my kids would think that it was “so special” that they were wearing what their mom had worn as a wee one.  I got them out one day and my girls laughed (actually laughed!) at some of the outfits I’d kept. They were horrified at the style and look.

We all see life through our own lens. It’s colored by how we feel and what we’ve gone through. Our children haven’t felt those same feelings like we have. So how can we expect them to treasure everything that we treasure?

I’m very thankful that I have children who are sentimental. And they do want a great deal of things that I’ve kept. But some? Some, I’ve learned, that I need to let go of. Hold on to the memory in my heart, hold on to the moment in time, but let the item go. It’s time.

Our children will feel special about their own things in life. And it’s okay.

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