Tuesday, September 17, 2019

They Are Different From You. And That's Not Bad.

Sometimes we get frustrated with one another.  We expect those ‘others’ in our lives, to be like us.

And they’re not. They are SO not.

And that frustrates us.

We try to comprehend how someone we care about, doesn’t appreciate the fact that we don’t want to be busy every weekend. Or, we don’t “get” how our beloved is so content not trying new things.

Some of us are introverts. Some are extroverts. Some of us - are somewhere in the middle.

Some of us thrive on adrenaline and we get antsy living life working “normally” like the rest of society.  Some of us…. Feel like we will be strangled if we have to try anything that is risky, fast, or slightly “out of the ordinary.” 

None of it is bad. We need to see that.

None of it is wrong. (Unless you jeopardize marital or familial relationships in the process - or become unwise with money, or your desires become addictions, etc.)

But for most of us - we just need to see that others are different than us. We don’t HAVE to understand why someone is the way they are. We just need to accept that they ARE.

We all fill a void here in life. We all fill spots that no one else can fill.

When we are in leadership, we can forget to teach to the introvert and not just the extrovert. 

When we are married, we can push and pull on our spouse to do things that God has not gifted in their very nature - to do.

Because we think everyone should think and feel… like we do.

I don’t think we do it in a mean way. I don’t even think we often realize we are doing it, at all. But we do. Everything we do, comes from our own prism of seeing life the way WE see and feel it. And in that very fact, oftentimes, comes the misunderstanding that someone else doesn’t see or feel things, as we do.

So what do we do? 

We start in just realizing. Realizing that others are different than us, and it’s not bad. 

They are meant to be different.

We compromise for the love of the relationship we have with them - to come to middle ground in the things we choose to do with them, and the things we ask of them.

We learn to enjoy to live life a little bit differently at times. Even if it’s only for an hour - or a week or two. Because we love the people in our life.

And in the process, we enjoy our relationships more. We relax more. We learn that it’s not life-altering, to learn how to accept a different way of going about things. It’s not going to kill us, if we don’t do things OUR way once in awhile.

And we grow. We love more. We LIVE more. And someone else loves us more, because of the lack of feeling pressured to be something they were never meant to be.

Someone can change to be with you - but they won’t enjoy it. And they won’t feel loved by us because they will feel like they aren’t good enough, just… the… way…. they… are.

So for the sake of the loved ones in your life - see and love people right where they stand. In their slowness or their frenzy. In their quietness or their joyful noise. But love them for who they are. 

And you will find your enjoyment of the relationship, will rise up to a new level. 

It’s ok that you are different than others, and that others are different from you. That’s what makes people so beautiful. So learn from each other. Love on each other. Grow from what each other has to give and offer.

That’s the secret to happy relationships.

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