The Unexpected

The unexpected. 

Time and time again we are unprepared. We plod through life unready to face the curveballs that come our way.

You’d think after a few of them that we’d be on the lookout. That we’d know they are coming. If not today… tomorrow. You’d think we’d have more strength in our spine to face them.

And yet we are so predictable. 

We are usually astonished. Bewildered. And caught off guard by the “unexpected.” 

Whether it’s our health, or the health of a dear loved one. 

Whether it’s a change of life circumstances that derails our dreams and plans, or something else - the “unexpected” usually has one common factor - it does indeed - derail our own agenda.

With one flourishing swoop. 

And we grieve. 

Sometimes internally. Sometimes externally. 

We wail about the unfairness of it all.

And it IS usually unfair. But isn’t that life? 

Why should we be spared hardship and all of it fall upon another? Why should we be allowed to stiffen our necks and rely only on ourselves because we’ve got no reason to lean on anyone else? No reason to lean on God?

Ahh - God.  That word alone causes bitterness. Because of course, He usually gets all the blame. 

We blame God for our hardships. We blame Him for pretty much everything unfair and unexpected. Everything HARD.

And yet we rarely bless Him for the good. For the joys. The blessings. The graces upon graces and mercy that has been shown to us countless times. The times we were spared consequences. Spared gut-wrenching blows …that…we…really…deserved.

But we blame God because He didn’t say “yes” to our prayers. He didn’t seem good to us. Didn’t seem fair to us. He didn’t grant our wishes.

How entitled we are.

How selfish.

God IS faithful. Even if He doesn’t spare our loved one from pain or death. 

God IS good. Even if we get hurt.

I know it. I feel it.

He’s promised it.

The answer can’t always be ‘yes.’ As hard as that is to hear.

We can’t always get our way.

The unexpected will continue to come. And we can learn from it. Grow through it. Be wiser from it. Love greater out of it.

Or we can harden our hearts.

The choice is ours.

The Part of God That We Forget

God is kind. Gentle. Forgiving. Patient. Loving.

We know these things. We talk about them often. We share about how He accepts us no matter what (and He DOES). He created us to be who we are. 

He forgives us endlessly. Thank heavens. 

He is so patient with us. As we doubt, get bitter, mess up, reject Him, and more.

But the thing we DON’T talk about much? Is how God is JUST.

He is not some passive entity in the sky. He is strong. He is a warrior. He disciplines. He is JUST.

And we don’t often like to think about that part of God - because that part? That means we might have consequences for our actions. That part? Might mean we can’t think the things we think in our heads. That part? Might mean we actually have to obey Him.

And that part - means sacrifice on OUR part.

But that part? Also gives me great solace, relief, and comfort. It means my God has a backbone. It means He is wise. He is discerning. 

I need that. I WANT that.

God is not hard-hearted. In fact, I believe He has the softest heart we can imagine. He must -  to put up with us. But I also believe He is JUST.

It reminds me to get humble when I get caught up in the whirlwind of my pride.

It leads me to tremble a little bit more - reminding me that I’m not just dealing with a physical president, king, or leader. I’m dealing with GOD.

The all-mighty.

The all-powerful.

The all-just.

What Makes Someone Keep the Faith?

“Your faith is so strong.”

I’ve heard that several times in my life.

When it’s said to me, it encourages me. But it also confounds me sometimes. For I don’t always FEEL strong in my faith. Others may not see that. They may not see or be aware that I cry in the dark sometimes. That I can feel sorry for myself and wonder why God seems so far away or is not answering my prayers. That I too, can grow weary.

No one’s faith walk is perfect. No one sails through trials, challenges, or unanswered prayers with total peace and faith in their heart every time. Sure - sometimes we do. Sometimes God gives us unexplainable trust and peace throughout very hard ordeals. But sometimes? Sometimes we long for it, yearn for it, and it escapes us - just like everyone else.

I am farrr from perfect. I struggle with pride. Bitterness. Selfishness. And other things too. 

I struggle. Just like everyone else.

I have regrets. Just like everyone else.

And yet - there is one thing I am determined to do. And that is to have faith.

Even in those moments where I feel so feeble, small, and pitiful - I ask God to hold on to me. To give me greater faith and belief in Him. To help me SEE and HEAR Him. To know that He is there with me.

I refuse to not ask Him for help. Because I am scared to death to make the biggest mistake of my life. Which is to ignore He exists.

And so in those moments and times when someone tells me, “Your faith is so strong.” I CAN be encouraged. That a faith that I sometimes feel isn’t strong or big enough - somehow shows up and in my life for others to see. 

I can be encouraged that even if my faith feels as small as a mustard seed, that it indeed matters. That it can move a life.

And I can be encouraged to continue to pray, to seek belief in those moments when I lean towards unbelief - and to to better myself.

Yes, sometimes my faith IS strong. But sometimes? Sometimes it’s so very, very weak. And in those times it’s when I notice that it’s weak not because God has moved. But because I have moved. I have stopped seeking. Stopped listening. And stopped growing.

Faith is so hard for some to find. When we feel we must understand everything - faith can seem far-fetched and inescapable. And yet we so easily have faith that the air we breathe is safe. Or that we will wake after we fall asleep.

We demonstrate faith everyday of our lives. We just don’t think about it.

So why is it so hard to believe that there is a God who created us? Who loves us? And who is. patient with us?

“Your faith is so strong.” Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe my faith is just EXERCISED. APPLIED. And  OPEN to what a Lord and Savior can do in my life.

When the Good and the Bad Show Up Together

Have you ever had so much good and so much bad happening all at once? It’s a lot for the emotions.

You have really hard things to wade through that take up your time and energy. Things that need to be processed.  Yet at the same time, God is bringing exciting news, new phases of life, and joys into your world.

I have been there.

I’ve been in a moment where I leaned over the kitchen sink on a normal morning and felt a wave of tears overcome me - not knowing where they came from or why.

It’s the build-up.

Life takes a lot out of us. Both the good and the bad. 

It can feel like we have no control over our own lives. And we really don’t, do we? But sometimes it just hits home more than other times that that is our reality.

We seek peace.

If I’m honest, I have both yearned and longed for peace in some seasons, while in others, it has come easily and unexplainably to me. 

All I know is that I ask God to give me the strength I need to keep going. Keep trying. Keep loving. And to not be afraid to celebrate the good - even when it’s mixed right smack dab in the middle of the bad.

It’s all a part of life. And the deepest of griefs reside with the highest of joys. Together.