Thursday, April 11, 2013

Inside I Still Feel Like I'm 18





Aging is a funny thing.  You notice things changing with yourself and you wonder how it happened.  You find yourself unable to swiftly do what you used to do. Your eyesight isn’t as strong. Muscles not as strong.  You simply look at food and gain a few pounds because your metabolism has changed.

It’s part of life.

But the thing I’ve found is – that inside? Inside, I still feel like I’m 18. 

My mind still feels clear.  I still dream. I still get excited like a schoolgirl over certain things. I still want romance. I still notice attractiveness. I still have ideas. I still hurt.

No – I’m not dead.  I’m just…..older.

An older me who finds it shocking that only older men find me attractive anymore. Oh yah – wait. I AM older!

An older me who enjoys hanging out with her kids friends – only to realize they may not want the “parental figure” always around. I AM the parental figure.

An older me who still wants to dress trendy but is stuck somewhere between super short junior shorts and flowery oversized missy tops.

Somewhere in between.

That’s where I am.

Even though inside – I still feel 18.  I still wonder if I have what it takes. I still don’t always know the right thing to do even though my age and experience should tell me I do. I still make plenty of mistakes.  I still want someone to hold me tight and tell me everything will be all right.

And I think. I think of all the “beloveds” in nursing and retirement homes. Their bodies may feel old. But inside, inside, do they still feel 18 too? Are they still wishing they could take on the world? Do they still long to be accepted?

I’m guessing that never changes.

Age. Age is just a number.  But the heart and mind? Those are timeless.

8 comments:

Sara said...

Its crazy some days I feel 17 others i feel 70 ha ha.

Dionna Sanchez said...

I do know what you mean - I tend to have an 'old soul' so yes, some days I do feel older, as well.

July Jany said...

I visit day-to-day some sites and information sites to read articles or reviews, however this webpage presents quality based writing.
Online jobs without investment
Part Time Jobs From Home

Anonymous said...

Good day! I simply wish to give you a huge thumbs up for your great information you have here on this post.
I am returning to your website for more soon.

Anonymous said...

Please let me know if you're looking for a article writer for
your weblog. You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset.
If you ever want to take some of the load off, I'd really like to write some content for your blog in exchange for a
link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail if interested.
Many thanks!

Anonymous said...

I constantly spent my half an hour to read this blog's posts every day along with a cup of coffee.

Dionna Sanchez said...

Anonymous - I am not currently looking for a writer. I'm sorry.

Anonymous - Thank you for spending your time reading my blog! I appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

You need to take part in a contest for one of the highest quality sites on the
web. I'm going to recommend this blog!