I have an account on Formspring. Basically, it is a place where people
can ask you questions. Recently
someone asked me what kind of financial advice I would give to a young married
couple. Here is my reply:
The
best financial advice I could give a young married couple is "be happy
with less." Oftentimes, young couples want to have or be where someone who
has been married 15 or 20 years is. But those couples have worked for years to
be where they are and to have what they have!
I remember when I first got
married, we had a fold-up card table as our kitchen dining table and we used my
old hope chest as a coffee table. And we were happy. Completely happy because
they were OUR things and it was OUR place. Even if our first home was an
apartment.
Be happy with less.
With that being
said, be wise. Look at where your money is going. Chances are there is
something you have a hard time giving up. Is it clothes, eating out, movies???
In order to get ahead as a couple, you need to sacrifice.
Ask advice from
parents or older couples who seem to be managing their money wisely. It may
seem humbling, but honestly, most couples start out struggling and looking
back, those are very tender-building years. I'm willing to bet that most
parents would be more than happy to share what they've learned along the way to
help you avoid some pitfalls! Just because it seems like they couldn't
understand your struggles based on where they are now, doesn't mean that they've
never been there.
There is so much more that can be said on this topic. But
if you follow the general rule of "be happy with less" - I think it
will help you focus on where you are, and where you need to be. Hard work truly
pays off in the long run. But it takes commitment and time. Everything you earn
or get along the way means so much more and is so much more rewarding if you've
worked hard to get there - on your own two feet.
I think the biggest struggle for young
couples isn’t to simply “meet their basic needs” but it’s this inner struggle
of trying to meet the basics and “then some.” It is very hard to truly “sacrifice.” Image is everything nowadays. So everyone wants that car, that
house, that screen TV, those clothes, and to be able to do the things they’ve
always done.
Unless both people in a marriage
relationship are working hard to meet those demands, they will certainly catch
up with you quickly!
I’ve seen many times how young couples
don’t have enough discipline in their own lives but then continually ask those
around them for help. And this can turn into the cry of “wolf” if couples
aren’t careful. For most families are more than happy to help someone who is
truly down on their luck. But if they notice they are being used or taken for granted
(or even notice a lack of restraint on your part) you can bet the help will be
withdrawn.
There is nothing wrong with struggle. It teaches you
a lot. What feels good is knowing that
you are making it on your own – without help from others, if possible. Even
if you are extremely tight – at least you’re doing it. Don’t let the “beast” of life – the
machine that tells you you’re nobody without certain things dictate how you
live.
You always need to look at the bigger picture. Look down the road. If you want to have a child in a few years, start saving now. If you want to have a home in a few years, start saving now. Don’t wait until the time arrives and then realize you weren’t very wise with your money in the meantime. Always be saving a little extra for the future. But yes, enjoy life too! Just don’t be reckless.
Starting out in life with a spouse is a great adventure. Have fun – even if that means only getting pizza every two months and getting your movies at the library so you can watch them for free. Everything can be fun if you have the right attitude.
