Friday, August 14, 2015

Serving God FOR God, and Not For Myself




I took a strengths class with my husband last Winter. Empathy was one of my top core strengths. One of the instructors told me how rare that was. “It’s like a sixth sense,” she said. I guess a lot of people have empathy as a complimentary strength but not as one of their main strengths.

It made so much sense to me. How I invest myself personally into everything I do. How I take everything thrown back at me, personally, as well. Because of empathy. I emote. I relate.

I feel. And I feel. And I feel some more. I feel for myself. I feel for you. And with you.

It’s just who I am.

So it makes sense that I struggle in my skin sometimes. I struggle to remind myself of who I want to be, and why I do what I do (writing).  For I can so easily ingest those follower numbers, those likes, and those blog comments. I can personalize them and focus on “me.” When that’s really not what I want to be about.

I do what I do BECAUSE of my empathy for others. For YOU. Not for me, at all. Yes, I enjoy it, but that’s because I enjoy loving on others. I enjoy encouraging others. I enjoy impacting a life. It does bring me great joy.  But from time to time, I have to analyze my motivation and my perseverance in what I do. Is it so I get more attention – more followers and likes? Or is it so that others can see God in me, and that I can draw them closer to seeking Him?

It’s the latter I want. It’s the latter that will give me true value. And yet I still struggle with personally wanting to be liked. Loved. Accepted.  As we all do.

Empathy.

It’s my strength, yes. But I think it’s also my weakness.

I am so thankful to get realigned from time to time. I’m humbled, and thankful to be reminded I’ve strayed off of my focus and intent. I’m blessed to get back on track with serving God FOR God, and not for myself.  For I don’t ever want to use His name, His values, and His words – for my own attention.

“Lord, I am your servant. A servant that does indeed, go astray from time to time. Thank you for lovingly always bringing me back into the fold and never chastising me with anger. You are my God. And I WILL serve you.


Always.”

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