Sometimes, having faith in God doesn’t “feel” like I think
it SHOULD feel. Sometimes I question my own heart because I’m not “feeling” the
emotions and thoughts that I think I should be having.
My faith is everything to me. I live by it 24 hours a day. It’s never a “grab from the shelf” kind of thing for me. It’s real. Integrated into every fiber of my being. I can’t separate from it. And knowing that, says a lot to me about what faith feels like.
Faith isn’t always joy. Sometimes it’s simply peace.
Faith to me isn’t always passion for reading God’s Word. Sometimes it’s simply a quick two-sentence prayer in my humanity that wants to do other things.
Faith to me is like the wind. I can’t always see it – but I
can see its effects and feel them in my life. It’s like breathing. I don’t
consciously do it; it has become such a part of me that it’s natural.
Instinctive.
I think when I go through those seasons of doubt (as we all
do), that I feel like I should be FEELING more. THINKING more. DOING more. But
that’s not what faith is about. It’s about believing and accepting God’s grace.
That’s it. He does it all and that can be hard to wrap our minds around. We
want to DO something. FEEL something. BE something.
The thing is? We are. And we do. For when you choose to follow the Lord, your heart does things on a daily basis. It has a voice and it takes actions. Those are always seen and felt by someone else. And you DO feel something. You feel the prick of pain when you disobey God’s commands. You feel deep joy when you see His hand sweep across a need and provide answered prayer in a way that ONLY He can do. You feel love. Heartache for those who are hurting. You feel everything deeper when you are walking with the Lord.
That’s faith.
Faith is knowing that God’s Word is true even when you don’t
know what will happen in your reality. You KNOW His Word will be lived out and
will be a testament to His presence.
I think sometimes I feel like faith should be a certain
cloak I put on and take off. Like I know when I’m wearing it, and I know when I
don’t. And that’s true to a point. But faith is also stronger and deeper than
that. It keeps me warm even when I’m not consciously putting on the cloak. It
protects and comforts me and it stands for what’s right even when I don’t label
it “faith.” Sometimes I think it’s just me. But it’s never me. It’s faith. It’s
HIM.
I’m learning faith isn’t always a feeling. Sometimes I do
feel things when I actively call upon what I believe – but it’s not always
there. No, faith is a choice. A direction. An intentional calling of the
heart.
It’s love. And being loved. And resting in the knowledge that God is always with you. Watching,
helping, guiding, disciplining, laughing, frowning, and loving. Always loving
me.
It’s a beginning. It’s a start. It’s action behind the heart.
It’s faith. MY faith. And it’s always personal.
1 comment:
I have often said where is your Faith and my answer is I am wearing it. Personally I can not and will not take it off and put in on ,nor do I lay it down and pick it up. No, God has brought me a long way, further than I could have dream and I am Thankful. So on a daily basis as I interact with other Christians and Believers I often may ask them where is your Faith, in all situations we may find ourselves in? Yes,I remind them that the BELIEVERS walk by Faith not by sight, the Christians I hope and pray that God will help them thru their periods of Unbelief. Yes, we encourage each other to keep HOPE alive.
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