Everything You Do, Says Something About Who You Are

Everything I do, says something about who I am.

When I play a game, I can’t just cheat and then say, “it was just a game.” No – how I play that game says a lot about my character and values.

The same is true for my work ethic on the job, my honesty with money, how I treat others while I’m driving – and even, how often I go to church, or in what condition I leave my table in, at a restaurant.

EVERYTHING, that you and I do – reflects on who we are, what we believe about others, and about ourselves.

We may think a lot of the things we do, don’t matter in the grander scheme of things in life. We may think no one is watching, or that someone else deserves our reaction, or attitude. But the thing is – it’s not about THEM. It’s about US.

Who I am, matters to me. It matters to my spouse. It matters to my kids and my friends. And it matters to my Lord.

Companies are now checking into social media accounts like twitter and facebook to see how someone carries themselves. Drunk photos? Swearing in your statuses? Badmouthing someone else? You may not get the job. Because WHO YOU ARE MATTERS.

We never just represent ourselves. We always represent someone else, as well as ourselves. Our parents. Our faith. Our employer. Our church. Our city.

We matter.  We matter because we are valuable.  We are worth something.  Shouldn’t we start acting like it? Shouldn’t we start BELIEVING it?

Dress – like you matter.

Carry yourself – like you matter.

Speak – like you matter.

For everything you do, and everything you are, matters.  Whether you feel forgotten, overlooked, or ignored – you matter.

Start believing it. Start acting like it. And start feeling it.

An Empty Well Cannot Continue To Give Water

“Step outside of your comfort zone.”

“Be generous.”

“Be involved.”

“Don’t be selfish with your money or time.”

“Think of others before yourself.”

All words we’ve heard. All important words TO hear. It’s important to realize where our lives may be out of balance, and where we may have lost some priorities along the way.  It’s good to sift ourselves and put things into focus from time to time.

These words can do that.

BUT – there are moments and times, where these words can also wear you down. These words – if not used in a balanced way – can cause us to neglect taking care of our own emotional and physical well-being.

I’ve seen it happen. I’ve HAD it happen.

An empty well cannot continue to give water. Nor can a person who gives so much that they start to wear down themselves in the process.

We NEED rest. We NEED time to ourselves. We NEED money to pay our own bills and provide for our own families. We NEED to feel safe in our own comfort zones.

None of these things is bad. They are the very things that help us stay whole and healthy. They help us feel confident.  It’s just that from time to time, we need to stretch our horizons a bit.

We can’t JUST focus on ourselves. And we can’t JUST focus on others and forget ourselves. Neither is good. Neither is healthy.

So if you’re one of those people who gives of themselves until the point of exhaustion….. ease up a bit. Allow yourself the freedom to tell someone “no” and be guilt-free about it. Tend to your own emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Then, when you are on more solid ground, dip your toes in the water of being stretched again.

This world needs us. But it needs healthy, confidant, grounded, stable, and HAPPY us! Keep that in the mind the next time you hear someone tell you to go outside of your comfort zone.

We Don't Get To Choose What Happens To Us

Life. It’s full of twists and curves.  The things we dream…. Sometimes come true. But sometimes, sometimes our lives are filled to the brim with unexpected challenges, hurdles, and surprises.

We never saw them coming.

I wouldn’t have chosen some people or things that have come into my life over the years. I certainly wouldn’t have chosen tears that I shed, or having a broken heart from time to time. I wouldn’t have chosen the scars that I still tuck deep inside. I wouldn’t have chosen certain challenges and hurdles that I’ve had to face. No. I wouldn’t have chosen them at all.

But they came. And I had to face them. I had to make decisions regarding them.

I had to choose who I was going to be THROUGH them, AFTER them, and BECAUSE of them.

I had to choose whether or not I would be shaped and identified by things in my life.

Sometimes those choices were easy. Having a strong faith makes certain decisions easy – even if the task in front of you is hard. But some of those choices were very, very hard. I had to face my own pride, selfishness, fears, and flaws. And I had to decide how I was going to proceed with my life from that point on.

We do not get to choose what happens to us in life. Oh, how I know we all wish we could!  We can orchestrate and plan and control as much as we are able – yet still – we can never control it all. We don’t get to choose how other people will react, what attitudes they will take, how our bodies will handle things, or where we will be at what point in time when nature shows us who is really in command.

We can only choose what we will do about it. We can only choose how it will shape us.

But from where I sit? Those are the most important choices of all. For they dictate so much about the rest of our lives.

No choice in life is ever small. Small choices always lead to bigger choices. So choose wisely. LIVE wisely. And as things unexpectedly get thrown at you, know that those are the defining moments for your life.

The moments of choice.

You Can Be Who You Dreamed Of Being

Do you remember when you were a little girl, and you used to daydream about what you wanted to be when you grew up? You’d envision your life, job, family, and it would all be perfect in your head. You would be beautiful, (of course), really good at what you did, and have the most darling children.

You would make vows like, “I will never do this,” or “I will never be like that.”

I’m just wondering – except for the unattainable standards that reality has set straight… did you turn out like you dreamed? Did you get the life you dreamed of having? Are you who you wanted to be?

Life has a way of beating up our dreams sometimes. There are so many curves, corners, and twists – things we never saw coming our way.  As we navigate all of these, we can sometimes forget which direction it was that we wanted to head in, in the first place.

We can forget where we came from and who we are.

We just get a little lost.

But, it’s never too late to start becoming the person you want to be. It’s never too late to change habits, attitudes, or circumstances that have sidetracked you. It’s never too late to start laughing more, spending more time with those you love, becoming more patient, taking care of your health better, getting more organized, etc.

Never.

Some people may be surprised at your changes – at your shift. They may even try to hinder you, because they expect you to be who you’ve always been. But don’t let them. You CAN be the best version of yourself that you want to be.

Life is so much about choices. We impact the directions of our life by those very choices. Yes, some things can’t be helped. Some things happen TO us. But it’s how we react to those very things that dictate how we will be as people, and how our lives will be lived.

You CAN be the vision of that person you dreamed of being.  You can be happy with who you are. Don’t give up on those dreams that you once had. Alter them a little, maybe, but don’t give up on the dreams that are a part of your soul. For they are part of you.

Stop Diminishing Your Value

I often do that. Diminish my value. I don’t really realize I’m doing it at the time. Someone will compliment me and I’ll wave it away. They’ll ask about my writing and I’ll minimize it.

Why do we do that?

I think it’s because we compare. We compare ourselves to someone who is better.  Someone who is more beautiful, more eloquent, more gifted than we are.

So, maybe they are. But does that mean we don’t have worth? Does that mean we are not also gifted? And who “weighs” giftedness anyways?

I was recently in a conversation with someone about my writing. I told them that I may not be the most gifted writer around, but that I still believed God had things and words in me that He could use.  What this person told me in return meant a lot to me and showed me how I was minimizing the gifts that God had given me. They said, “you are a great writer because you write from the heart. I would much rather read something that is genuine and comes from someone who is "in the trenches" raising a family, than someone who has a PHd, and all of it comes from a "clinical" perspective. Don't discount how valuable your skills are. All that matters is that we bring God glory in our work. You do that in an outstanding way.”

Wow. WOW! They not only encouraged and affirmed my gift of writing, they gently told me not to discount and diminish the skills that God had given me!

We are each unique and individual. For a reason. We each have something different to bring to the table. Just because one person can bring the main course doesn’t mean that the appetizer is any less delightful or memorable.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and instead work on flourishing what we’ve been given. God has gifted each one of us in different ways.  We can be thankful for what He has given us instead of wishing it were stronger, bigger, wider, or fancier. We cannot be all that He intended us to be if we only focus on what we don’t have and can’t give.

Let’s stop diminishing our value.

Stop discounting how valuable our skills are.

Stop minimizing who we are and what we can contribute.

We each are outstanding in our own way and we each have something valuable to give. Enjoy it. Love it. Embrace it.

For you ARE valued and you DO have value to give.

Not Enough of Me, To Go Around

Some days it just seems like there’s not enough of “me” to go around.

I love to love on others. I try to always give my best and BE my best. But there are just some seasons where I feel like I’m always letting someone down. I feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do, be who I want to be, love on who I want to love on.

And I hate that.

I hate feeling like I need to have two of “me.” I hate feeling behind on things. And if I don’t feel behind on things, I feel behind on taking care of myself and my own emotions and needs.

I’m learning, though. I’m learning that there will never be enough of me to go around. I’m learning that I WILL always disappoint someone – and sometimes, that someone will be ME. Sometimes it will be important to put someone else’s needs and soul ahead of my own. But I need to be aware and recognize, when it’s time to tend to myself. For I can’t give anyone anything, if I’m not giving myself some love too.

I still get a little stressed in these seasons. I want there to be enough of me to go around. But most of the time, I’m learning to make peace with it. I do what I can do. Give what I can give. And be the best me that I can be. Even if that’s not enough for others.

It’s the best I can do. The best I can be. And that has to be enough.

We Get Hung Up On the "But's...."

We are “hard-to-please” people.  We desire, wish for, and want things in our lives. But then when we get them, they often don’t seem to be perfect for us. They should have come sooner, lasted longer, had different people involved in them.

We get hung up on the “but’s.”

“But…. God, if only I would have moved here 3 years ago!”

“But…. I had to give up this, in order to get that.”

“But…..it didn’t last long enough.”

We are thankful, BUT, not thankful enough.

We are happy, BUT, not happy enough.

There is always something missing. Something “more” we wish would have been added to the picture.

It’s not enough for us, that we get answers to prayer, because they don’t measure up to what our expectations of them were.

Oh, how ungrateful, and how unthankful we can be!

I’ve caught myself, many times, saying, “But….” And yes, I did feel the feelings and thoughts of those very “but’s.” I do wish some things were different. Stronger. Longer. Gentler. More beautiful.  But I do not want to diminish the gift they already are! I do not want to think so much on what didn’t come with my answered prayer, that I fail to see what did!

A “but,” is only our refusal to accept what is. It’s our denial and stubbornness at play. It’s our pride.

God does SO much for us. He sends us jobs, money, friendships, healed relationships, new homes, and sooo much more. His timing and His ways are perfect. So we can forget about wishing that our answered prayers had come sooner, lasted longer, or arrived in a different package. They are just how God wants them to be for us.

Perfect.

May we stop getting hung up on those “but’s…..” in our lives. They only interfere with our joy and blessings. 

Let’s notice them when they come, and stop them in their tracks. Before they start arriving too often.

It's Not ALL About You... But Sometimes a Little Bit About You

“It’s not about you.” We hear that so often. And it’s true.  We shouldn’t be “me” focused, in this life. Those who give to others, love on others, and focus on bettering other people’s lives and making a lasting impact for good… they are happier.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t need anything. It doesn’t mean we are content to be ignored.

For everyone needs love.  And everyone needs to feel valued.

Everyone craves touch.  An encouraging word.  Someone to notice them.

Some of us may not need it as much as others; but we all need it.

We need each other.

So, although it’s important to not get caught up in our own crisis, problems, and our own little world – it’s also important to have a support system, people we can talk to, and those who will invest in us.

No one should go through life all alone.

We can thrive on giving and loving; but an empty well still needs to get filled up from time to time. And we can empty ourselves into others so much, that we don’t notice when we start feeling dry, until we’re already there.  And as good as we can be at listening to positive speeches, reading motivating words, or relaxing… we still need others to recharge us and invest into our lives.  We need to know that we matter!

So, if you are a giver – good for you. I bet you have a content heart and life. But allow others to give to YOU once in awhile.  If only for your soul. 

We all need to feel loved in addition to loving on others. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be encouraged.  Make changes in your life, if needed, to make sure that you get that emotional connection that your heart craves from time to time.

You may be surprised. Sometimes we think everyone already has all the friends they need in their lives. But, most people always have room in their lives to love and be loved on by a new friend. Invite them in.  Open your heart.

And get that well filled up.

It’s NOT all about you. But sometimes, it’s a little bit about you.

Our Own Insecurities Can Sabotage Us

Insecurities. Ohhhh – those blasted insecurities! They can balloon into monsters in our hearts and lives. They can get out of control when WE don’t feel we are in control. They can ruin relationships. Hurt, feelings. Cause misunderstandings. All because we react to circumstances based on those same insecurities.

If we feel like we don’t have control of a situation….

If we jump ahead of a situation and react based on how we FEAR someone will act…..

If we let our feelings be hurt because someone didn’t choose to act or respond in a way we think they should have….

If we don’t feel as important as we want to feel….

….. we can let those insecurities damage our reputation. Because we let them rule and take over our heart and head. We let them tell us the way things SHOULD be. And we react. We REACT before we have all the information on someone or something. We REACT before we let ourselves calm down. We REACT before we really think about a situation and try to understand.

And we sabotage everything.

No one else sabotaged our relationship. WE did. Out of fear. Out of feelings of inadequacy. Out of loneliness. We did it to ourselves.

 Sometimes we have it all. We have the love of those in our lives. We have their trust. We have their loyalty. And then we damage everything by the way we handle things. By the way we react. The very things we fear start to happen. We lose their trust. We lose their loyalty. Their time invested in us.

It’s so frustrating to everyone involved.

Insecurities are never our friend. They are issues that lie within our own souls that need to be resolved. Healed. Addressed. Oftentimes, those insecurities are never echoed by those around us. They are merely shouted at us from our own voices. From Satan.

We are ALL flawed. We ALL mess up. It’s what makes us human. Unique. That doesn’t mean we aren’t still valuable. Gifted. Loved.

Listen to what God says about you and who you are. You are lovely. Beautiful. Delightful to Him. Made for a purpose. Repeat that to yourself over and over. And chase those insecurities out the door. Or at least squash them into smaller voices. Don’t let them ruin the beautiful things and relationships you have in your life. Don’t let them chase you into a corner where you only hear them speaking. Step out into the open and leave them in the shadows. Today.

Your life is a gift. It may not be wrapped perfectly –but it’s a gift just the same. Let others enjoy that gift. And let life be imperfect. That’s what makes it a beautiful story.

Do You See Goodness In Yourself?

Sometimes, when we have dealt with great hurt and pain, we take it out on ourselves. It’s a way of punishing ourselves. Even if it wasn’t our own mistakes that we dealt with, but the choices of someone else, we can often internalize those hurts – thinking that we aren’t worth much. We somehow end up believing lies about who we are.

Over time, we can even forget where we started. We just become this person of anger, hate, coldness, and meanness.  We become what we believe ourselves to be.

It can be hard to love this kind of person. It can be hard to BE loved, if you are this person.

Life can kind of suck you into a momentum and cycle of pain. Even if you don’t want to be there, you can easily find yourself feeling out of control and at the mercy of the circumstances you’ve found yourself in.

You don’t know who you are anymore. And you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror.

All it takes is one person. One person to see into you. To tell you that you are loveable. Valuable. GOOD. That they see something in you, that even though it may be tucked deep down inside – it still exists.

And then it just takes you…. To believe them.

Even though we make mistakes in life, even though we’ve compromised and hurt others, there is still good in us. We just have to give it a chance to find its way out.

No one is beyond hope. No one is beyond help. No one is too far gone, that they can’t be loved. That they can’t be redeemed.

I think there is a part of all of us that wants to be good. To be seen as good, honorable, and worthy.  Don’t stop believing in yourself. Don’t stop believing in that “someone” you care about. Look deeper. Harder. Longer. And help them see that there is something priceless and valuable inside that is buried beneath all of the “crud” that lies on top.

Every choice can take us down a different path. And there are so many more choices to made. If you’re still breathing, there is still hope. Still time to change your course.  Still time to develop the goodness that exists in your heart.

You can do it.

I believe.

We NEED Better

We need to DO better.

We need to be better friends. Better parents. Better fighters, for what is moral and right.

We should speak up more. Speak up less. Be wiser. More understanding.

We need to be more discerning. Gentler. More compassionate.

We need to be THERE for one another. Not just in words, but in presence.

We need to strive for excellence in all we do. Go the extra mile. Persevere. Run to win the race in whatever we undertake in life.

We need to think of ourselves less, yet take care of our emotions and feelings, more.

We need to BE better.

We need to have more patience. Slow down. Laugh more.

We need to forgive more readily. Love more freely.

We need to stop taking everything so personally. Let things go. Move on.

We need to yell when things are unfair, and cheer when things are good.

We need to KNOW what is better.

Life is flying by. Slipping through our grasp. People are hurting, dying, and feeling alone. We sooo need to love better.

I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to know what’s better, and love better.

Do you?

When Your Hiding Place Has Become a Home

What battles have you waged in your life? What is it, that makes you feel like your heart and soul are locked in a cage? Do you feel free to be YOU? Do you feel labeled, defined, stuck in a role?

Have you put yourself there?

There are so many things in life that have hurt us. Ever since we were little, we have become broken pieces. Bit by bit.

All of us.

Some of us, allow ourselves to be put back together again. We wear the scars, but we are able to find beauty in the broken parts of our lives. Others of us, we just – stay – broken.

Somehow, we don’t know how to get fixed. We are lost.

We hide behind food and weight. Drugs. Alcohol. Achievement. Success. Perfectionism. Service. A smile, perhaps. But we hide.

We’ve hidden so long, we don’t even know we are hiding anymore. Our hiding place has become home.

Oh, precious soul. There is so much more beauty, joy, and love to be found in your life! You don’t have to hide. Not anymore.

You can be fixed. You can find wholeness. You will have scars – always. But those scars can only prove that you are a survivor. You made it.

You overcame.

“It” didn’t win over you.

You can help others. Those others who struggle with the same things. You can help them find their voice, their joy. Their beauty.

And in doing so – you will find yours.

You will see how your story has made you even more beautiful.

Those tears don’t have to fall forever. They don’t have to fall in private.  Bring them out into the light.

Let yourself be loved. Let yourself heal.

You deserve that. There are people out there, ready to help you. They are reaching for you with open arms. Grab hold and step out of your hiding spot.

You don’t need it anymore.

When You Feel Like You Are Doing the “Loving,” More Than the “Being Loved”

Man, I hate disappointment. I hate it when someone lets me down. I know it will happen from time to time in life, but I still hate it when it’s my turn, or my families’ turn to experience it.

Heartache.  No fun any way you look at it.

Relationships are tricky. Emotions – overwhelming. They sneak up on you at times, and take over.

You can think something wouldn’t bother you – but then it does.

You can think you’d be brave in a certain situation, but then you’re not.

It’s the intricacies of loving and being loved.  Sometimes we feel like we are doing more of the loving, than of the “being loved.”

And boy, does it stink.

I wish I could tell you there is a way around it. I wish that I had some magical words to help you take these moments with stride.

I don’t.

For I haven’t been able to figure out how to take them in stride, myself. Not for me – and certainly not as a wife and mama; when I see my family members disappointed by others.

What I do know, is that sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some. Sometimes others bless us, and sometimes they neglect us. It’s a “spin the wheel” kind of thing. And you never know just who it will land on. The more you care for someone, the more it hurts when they are the ones who disappoint.

It can be easy for me to want to bail on someone when they disappoint me. I want to say, “I’m done.” For if they so obviously don’t care as much as I do, why invest the time? And I do believe healthy boundaries should be set in relationships so you don’t set yourself up to be hurt over and over and over again. So you don’t set yourself up to be used.

But, I also believe – no, I KNOW, that I have disappointed others. And I didn’t mean to.  I would never intentionally hurt someone else. So, maybe, I need to give others the same grace that I would like extended to me when I disappoint.

Grace.  And mercy.

I would still like to enjoy “being loved” as much as I enjoy “loving.” I would still like to be blessed, instead of neglected. But I know I can’t go through life accepting one, without the other. That’s not how it works.

So, I continue to love. And I continue to get hurt.

And I continue to live. 


That's the price of love.

We Need Other People To Speak Into Our Lives

We need other people to speak into our lives.

It can be so easy to live life today without true connections with others. We don’t like any churches so we say we will just live by faith at home.  We don’t want to do “Small groups” or “connection groups” if we DO do church because it can be uncomfortable or we don’t particularly click with the people we were placed with.  We don’t go to Bible Study, we don’t have close friends.

It can be isolating. Not only that, we can grow so comfortable in that isolation that we don’t see that it’s isolating.

In this kind of a life, the only voice we hear in life is our own and our immediate family’s.  We may have a great family. But family isn’t always objective.

As far as our own voice goes, we can be our most critical influence in life. We can be so hard on ourselves. Negative. Picking out all of our flaws and faults. Or on the other end of the scale, we can ignore our flaws and faults. We can gloss over areas of our heart and life that need to be worked on.

Yes, we need other people to speak into our lives. We need Godly influences. Moral people. People of character. People who are reliable and whom we can trust. We need SEVERAL people. Just as we shouldn’t only listen to one pastor or one Christian speaker, we shouldn’t just listen to one friend or influence in our life. For even if intentions are good, we can often be led astray. But if you have several people inputting and speaking into your life, then you can better filter what is being said. If people are reiterating the same thing, then usually that is advice that needs to be heeded and listened to.

It’s all for our good. For our growth.

Finding good influence can be hard, at times. Maybe you’re looking and you’re struggling to find those people whom you can trust. People who really care about you. Keep praying about it. Keep looking. Oftentimes you can find them in places you hadn’t thought of. Yes, sometimes, it’s at church, but other times it might be at the gym, or at work. Maybe it’s the fellow parent of your teen whom you keep bumping into.

Keep praying about those voices. Keep seeking them out. For we are always better together, than alone.

Forgive Yourself

Ever since we were little, most of us were told to forgive. We had to forgive our siblings when they hit us, or stole our candy, or did something not nice. We were to forgive that mean girl in class, and the neighborhood bully.

Because it was the right thing to do.

That still didn’t mean we didn’t get hurt. Our feelings got hurt as we grew up. Sometimes, we physically got hurt.  And a lot of us stopped wanting to forgive.

It’s easier at times, to lash out at someone who does something stupid, than to focus on our own short fallings.  We want to protect ourselves. We want to stop from getting hurt any more. Ever.

But in our quest to stop hurting, we forget to acknowledge some of our own feelings. Some of those feelings that have turned inward on ourselves. 

“Maybe that person was right.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe I should have stood up for myself more.”

Maybe. Those maybe’s can kill us inside.

Chances are, some things in life were our fault. But some, were not. Only we know for sure. But we can’t keep living there – in those moments of pain. The more we try to stuff down those hurts, the harder it is to move on and be free.

Yes, we need to forgive. If only to release ourselves from the grasp someone else has on us. If only to understand and know, that we too, will need forgiving for something we do at some point, somewhere in time.

But it takes time. And it takes love.

Do you love yourself enough to be able to let go of your hatred? Your bitterness? Your anger?

It’s okay. It’s okay to be happy, even though you went through great sorrow.

It’s okay to laugh, even when you’ve shed so many tears.

It’s okay to want to be alone at times. Or not to be alone at times.

Your feelings are yours alone. Yours to feel. Yours to embrace. For feelings keep us soft. They keep us moving and growing.

So forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for holding onto something that is so personal. Something that impacted you in such a great way. You’ve been hurt.

But forgive and let it go. Release it. Don’t carry it with you anymore.

It’s time to be free from those hurts and not let them own you any more.

This Need We Have, For Acceptance

From the moment we are born, it seems that we all crave acceptance. It starts with our babies craving to be held and loved. And it continues on throughout our whole lives. This need we have. For acceptance.

For some of us, this need is fostered by families who never seemed to value, or appreciate us. For others of us, there’s something inside of us, that truly seems to be our own worst enemy, as we look out into the world and see others who we think are better, more beautiful, smarter, more gracious, more athletic – whatever. Whatever it is that we think we are lacking.

We often, don’t give ourselves a chance. Not when we think we’d be better off if we were someone else.

That’s why “he’s” are changing into “she’s.” “She’s” are changing into “he’s.”  “He’s are liking “He”s instead of “She’s” and vice versa. There is no self-acceptance.

The thing is – if we can’t accept ourselves, no one else will ever accept us either. We can change our looks, our gifts, our jobs, our surroundings – but we are still “we” on the inside. Our brains, our organs, our very souls – cannot be changed. We were made to be who we are.

Everyone – EVERYONE – is a gift. A unique, special, priceless gift. EVERYONE has something to add of value to this world. Sometimes, yes, we are hindered by others in our life, or our surroundings. It may take courage and great strength to seek out healthier environments and input into our lives. But who we have in our lives, doesn’t change who WE are. No one can put a label on us that we don’t accept!

We all have a God-given identity. And it’s beautiful. We can spit in the face of it, we can try to change it – but it still exists underneath all of those layers.

YOU are valuable. YOU are irreplaceable. YOU have what it takes to be a man, to be a woman, to be a husband or a wife. Believe in yourself. Believe in the God who made you. It’s the only way you will ever truly feel peace. It’s the only way you will ever truly feel love.

Accept yourself as you were made. For you were not a mistake. You were not a “mess-up.”

You were – and – are – a gift. And you can’t be replaced. If you lose yourself, we lose you too.

You are loved for being you. The REAL you. The “created” you.

I promise.

Look In the Mirror

 Every morning we get up and we go into our bathrooms. We get dressed and we look into our bathroom mirror. Some of us gloss over our appearance quickly – maybe so that we don’t have to dwell on it. Maybe because we’re not happy with ourselves.  Others of us, look longer. And we do dwell. But not in a good way.

It’s so easy to see all of our flaws. That pimple that just popped up overnight. The eye that droops a little. The physique that doesn’t quite fit into the “I’m a supermodel” dream that we had for ourselves.

We can so quickly look at the negative. We take note of it. We ingest it.

Then we go about our day and maybe without realizing it, we carry those negative thoughts with us. So we feel insecure around others who we think have it “more together” than we do.  We aren’t as confident.

What if we had started our day on a totally different note?

What if, when we look in the mirror – we look at our positives? And not only that, what if we thank God for them?

What if when we see our eyes, we can thank God that He gave us eyes that hold compassion and notice hurting hearts so readily? What if when we see that pimple on our face, we remind ourselves that an authentic face is easier for others to relate to and get to know?

What if we embrace our smile? What if we are thankful for the arms that so easily hug others? What if we…. Just….enjoy who we are? 

We don’t have to be in denial that we have flaws and blemishes. Everyone has them. But we can, instead, focus on our gifts and blessings. We can notice the lovely things about ourselves and carry THOSE with us throughout our day – being ready to use them and bless others with them.

When we look in the mirror, we can choose to look at ourselves how God looks at us. With nothing but love.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I feel loved, I feel more beautiful. So maybe  a post-it on the mirror is in order to remind each one of us, that we ARE beautiful. We ARE blessed. And we ARE loved.

I see that when I look at you. Now you just need to see it when you look at yourself.