Sunday, April 7, 2024

Not Everything Is Equal


We seem to live in a time in life where everyone wants things to be “equal.” Whether or not someone’s efforts are excellent, people seem to want to achieve the same level as someone who has given sweat and soul day in and day out to get to where they are.

I was the little sister. I got a lot of hand-me-downs growing up. I didn’t always get “new.” But that’s what happens to siblings who come after the first-born. Should our parents not be wise with their finances and discard perfectly good items just because we want what our eldest sibling had? 

No. Life is not fair. It is not equal.

The youngest sibling often has more relaxed standards in the family because the parents “learned” that thing would be okay if they adjusted and picked their battles. This is something the oldest sibling often has to learn the hard way and with more responsibility on their shoulders.

It’s not wrong. It’s just not equal.

And that’s the way it should be in society and in our lives.

Race, religion, the sexes - none of that should play as great a role as “are you qualified?” “Are you excellent in your work?” “Are you honest?” “Have you worked for it?” 

Not everything is equal. 

But it still can be good. Because the people that deserve to be promoted, should get promoted. The people who deserve to be heard over the airwaves, are heard. The people who deserve to get benefits, get them.

We need to have something to hope for. Work for. Believe in.  THAT is what makes us grow. THAT is what makes us better.

Monday, January 1, 2024

Perfection Comes In Many Different Forms

Have you ever felt so thankful to be in a spot that you know was of God’s choosing and not your own?

I have.

I have closed my eyes, felt tears come to my throat and eyes, and just thanked God as I sat in the moment of knowing I was in God’s “here.” Not my “here.” Not a place of MY choosing. Or a time of MY choosing. But one that I was allowed to see… was clearly His.

Footsteps orchestrated by God alone. 

A place picked out by Him.

Details maneuvered and navigated by my Lord. Personalized and tailored just for me.

And it was all perfect.

When I say “perfect” - I don’t mean that each time I saw I was sitting in the place He’d picked for me that everything was beautiful. Sometimes, indeed, it was beautiful. Other times, it was perfect in the way of renewal. Or sifting that I didn’t know I needed. Healing. Refining. Answered prayers of deliverance.

Perfection often comes in many different forms.

But still, I sit in those moments - deeply indebted and thankful. Humbled. And feeling so very loved and reminded that I have a God who sees my deepest hurts and needs. I have a Lord, who WANTS what is the best for me. 

Those moments are everything to me. 

When was the last time you looked at the threads in your life and realized God placed you where you are for a reason? Sometimes we don’t see because we simply don’t look. Or maybe we forgot our long ago prayer to have what now sits in the palm of our hands.

But He didn’t forget.

He didn’t stop loving.

And so here we sit. In God’s “here.” In the “here” we longed for and needed. The one that we didn’t even see on the agenda. And yet it fits us so perfectly.

Because again. Perfection comes in many different forms.

Sunday, September 17, 2023

Well-Meaning Words

"God's timing is perfect." We hear this saying a lot from well-meaning friends.  

There are times when frustration happens in our lives. We unload on someone close to us, or share the burdens of our heart and we are met with, "You know, God's timing is perfect." 

And it is. Oh, how it is. 

God is never early and He is never late.

But I can't help but think that these words can almost come off as uncaring, if we aren't careful in our delivery of them, and our timing of them.

I know for me, I am very well aware that God's timing is perfect. I trust in that and I am thankful for that. But sometimes, I don't need to hear them tossed back my way. I'd rather someone let me know they are sorry for what I'm going through, that they understand, or some other encouraging, heartfelt, meaningful words. So that I know they CARE.

I get it. It doesn't mean someone doesn't care if they say, "you know - God's timing is always perfect." But if that's ALL they say? To me, that comes off a little... well... uncaring. 

What people need most in those moments is someone THERE in the moment with them. They mostly need to feel heard. And when platitudes are given, it can almost feel like we are a burden to someone else. That they are letting us know we aren't trusting in God enough, aren't patient enough, aren't (fill-in-the-blank) ENOUGH. And maybe we aren't. Maybe we will look back and wish we'd handled a certain situation better, stronger, wiser, or calmer. But that's probably a given for most all of us.

When someone trusts you enough with the vulnerabilities of their heart, take pause. It doesn't mean they don't have faith that God will show up. It may simply just mean they need a friend to walk alongside them through it.

So although God's timing IS indeed always, always perfect - maybe we can aim a little closer to "perfecting" our heart's reply to someone in the moment.

Because, maybe, JUST maybe - God's timing? God's timing may be intended to come through us in just the right words at just the right time.

Saturday, June 24, 2023

It Means More Than We Can Imagine


When we touch each other in a moment of grief, pain, doubt, loss… it means something. It means more than we can imagine.

If you cry alone, you feel alone. But if you cry with someone holding you; their arms around your shoulders.. you may still feel alone, but you KNOW you are not. Whether or not they can understand your fear or pain at what is to come, at what is happening, there is something about that grip of another, that helps.

Rubbing someone’s back - holding their hand - wiping a tear from their face or pulling back their hair - those guesturesj MEAN something. They stand for something.

We are not in this life alone. 

We don’t feel pain alone.

We don’t have to weep… alone.

And whether or not we understand, we all know how it feels to hurt. How it feels to lose. How it feels to be scared.

We can stand by and watch. We can say, “I’m sorry.” We can glibly offer prayers. Or we can be there. We can touch. 

I know I want to be there. To offer what little comfort I can to someone else. To give them strength they may not be able to summon themselves. To offer love.

And I know I want someone there for me. When the tears fall down my face, I want someone to comfort me not just with words - but with the love that comes only from their touching embrace.

We underestimate it. But it is invaluable.

Be there. Love.

Touch. For we are all human. And it’s better to go through the tough moments together….than alone. 

Friday, April 7, 2023

Love Is Not Self-Seeking


We put so many unfair expectations on each other.

The pressures and weight we place on each other is too much for someone’s shoulders to bear.

No one can meet the expectations we place on them, all of the time. And even if they meet them some of the time, they probably aren’t genuine. Not if we clearly lay them out before them. No. They are met out of guilt, or to keep some sort of peace in the relationship.

Love does not place expectations on someone else’s plate. 

Yes, there are certain boundaries that need to be upheld in relationships. Certain character qualities, and morals that need to exist for a healthy dynamic. I’m talking more about physical and emotional expectations that are only there to meet some sort of inner need put in place by the person who lays them out before the other.

It’s never fair. Never healthy.

It’s control.

People were meant to be free. Free to feel how they want to feel. Free to run life slowly or fast, depending on their personal bent. Free to express their hearts how they want (or don’t want). Free to be quiet, or outgoing.

We cannot, and should not place expectations on our relationships simply because we are insecure, lonely, depressed, anxious, regretful, or you fill in the blank.

These kinds of expectations damage otherwise healthy and normal relationships. They suck the life out of people. 

Maybe we “wish” things were a little bit differently than they currently are. Okay. But other people aren’t “us.” And we can’t make them “us”. 

Sometimes we rate people on our own scale - not on a scale that is tailored to them. And that is never fair. 

We rate their efforts based on the efforts and energy WE have, not on what they have. We rate their interactions based on the interactions WE prefer, not on what they prefer. We rate their expressions and feelings based on how WE think they should be expressed, not on how God created THEM!

And instead of seeing the beauty in the differences, we strangle the life out of a relationship because it doesn’t fit into a mold of where we think it should be.

That’s never love. 

It’s time we love people as they are, WHERE they are. Pray for God to fill in any holes in their lives that need filling, as well as working on our own hearts to be His servants and love others wholly in spite of it all. 

Never placing demands, complaints, regrets, or disappointments onto someone else’s heart.

Love is not self-seeking.

It’s good to remember that.

If we can just let our relationships exist with all their intricacies, we can find joy in learning and sharing life with another human being who adds to our life in ways we hadn’t considered on our own.

This world has enough stress and pressures without us putting it onto each other.

Saturday, January 14, 2023

We Want to Avoid It.....But We Should Walk Through It, Together

“Let’s Focus On Something Happy.”

That is something I hear from time to time when we have gathered with family. We start talking about some relative going through something tough, or some crisis or tragedy that has made big news. And we can get in-depth and long-winded about it - to which, I will inevitably hear someone say “Let’s focus on something happy.”

And listen, I get it. There is a time when talking about the unhappy or sad, has had its place. But you know what? Talking about the unhappy and sad.. also has ITS place.

And all too often we want to avoid it.

How can we learn, grow, walk through life together, or learn how to share both the happy and sad in our lives - if we avoid even discussing it?

Life is not happy all the time. We are all too aware of that. Life is happy, sad, ups, and downs. It has hard moments just as equally (sometimes it feels like more) than good. And we should be able to share, talk, lean on, cry with, and discuss those moments with those we trust, love, and who are closest to us.

Those things do have their place. We can revisit them at appropriate times. We can use discernment when a conversation has run its course and we need to move on. But avoiding them altogether - I feel is a mistake.

So yes. We should focus on the goodness of the Lord. We should be thankful for the blessings, answers to prayer, and joyful times in life that we are graciously given. We should share those with others too - so that God gets glory and honor and that other people can grow in their faith.  But we should also take the time to walk through the deeper waters with one another, too. We NEED to.

No one can keep all the sadness a heart carries to themselves. Nor should they. We are here to be there for each other. To strengthen. To advise. To LOVE.

Let’s focus on being there for each other. Whether that means focusing on the happy…. Or the sad for a time.

Let’s focus on helping each other be better, stronger, wiser, and healed from the trauma we all go through in various ways.

THAT should be our focus. THAT should be our goal. 

And THAT will be our strength. Each other.

Thursday, November 17, 2022

When The Pressures On Your Life Are Great

There are times in life, where I really feel like the pressure is great. It seems as if everything comes down the pipeline at once. On multiple fronts, there are things going on that demand a lot from a person - physically - sometimes. Emotionally? Always.

These are the times where I’ve learned the spiritual stakes are high. For me and for the others that God has placed in these scenarios in my life.

We can grow weary. Drained. Our soul can need refueling - badly, at times. But somehow, we must persevere. Tread on day in and day out. Give our “all” to whatever pressures are bearing down on us.

Satan gains ground when we are weary. And he knows it. He knows if he can distract us, defeat us by making us tired, or emotionally drive us into a weak state, that he gains momentum in the situation. I think that’s why multiple things happen at once. He wants victory.

I detest these times. They feel like they go on forever and ever. Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. The heart and soul take a good beating.

Or so it seems..

Yet somehow, as weak as I feel in these seasons, as much as I long for them to stop, somehow, I come out stronger for clinging to faith. Clinging to God. Oh, how I look back in hindsight and wish I’d done things differently. I often feel like I should have said things more eloquently, took action in a more timely way, and been stronger… or calmer. Yet still… when I remain faithful, God has an amazing way of planting something deeper inside of me. He grows me, as painful as it is..

I am better. 

Even if those times weren’t for me - I am better for having to turn in tears to the One who is the ONLY One who can provide answers, solutions, and a clear path.

I am ever grateful for that.

If you find yourself feeling pressure bearing down on you from multiple sides - friend - please persevere. Please muster what you can each day to stay loving but strong. Generous but wise. Believing, hopeful, and carrying yourself with integrity. Turn to God every day; every moment if you have to. But turn to Him.

He WILL carry you. He will give you that “just enough” that you need for one more day, hour, moment.

Don’t let satan gain ground over you, or over those you love.

We may have to crawl through these times - but they WILL have an end. They will bring forth results. And for me? I want to breathe deeply knowing I made I through and I didn’t give up. I didn’t give in.

There is someone who is afraid of you. He is called satan. Give him good reason to tremble. 

Monday, September 5, 2022

There Is Something Beautiful About Who You Are

My way may not always be the easiest way. It may not be the fastest. It may not even be the smartest. But it’s unique to me. And it fits ME. It fits my comfort level, my voice, my thoughts, and my goals.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that even though someone may be able to do something more efficiently than I, it’s not necessarily better. 

For it doesn’t represent my vision.

We compare ourselves so often. We get intimidated by others. We measure our weaknesses, by their strengths - coming up short. But the stick in which we use to compare, isn’t a fair one.

If I am to truly flourish, I have to know myself very well. I have to know my values, moral compass, how I come across to others, what areas I need to work on, and where I excel. I need to know all of it. And I need to be honest about it. Recognize, acknowledge and work within those boundaries.

This applies to my relationships, as well as my work life.

In my “methodical” approach, I may encounter so many things that someone who is gifted at laying something down quickly… cannot. In someone else’s way, they may fine-tune something that my vision doesn’t consider. 

Neither is wrong. It’s simply uniqueness. It’s human identity coming out in thousands of ways with unlimited potential and opportunities lying ahead.

As we communicate with each other, we can’t always run over someone else’s way of seeing something. It’s THEIR way. Not ours.

As we learn to serve one another, we discover these things. They often present themselves to us in the most unexpected ways. Providing blessing to our souls in the process.

You are you. I am me. And that is how it is supposed to be. 

And yet we try so hard to be like one another. 

We look online and imitate to the point where unique identity is considered wrong. Out-of-tune.

Oh that we would each grow to be comfortable in our skin again - not trying to conform it, change it, mold it, or deny it!

Yes. We all have ways we need to grow. But motivation is different than shame. And inspiration fuels us and encourages us to get stronger in who we already know we are. 

There is something beautiful about who you are. Something no one else on earth can touch. Whether you are a creative, a technical mind, someone who loves people, or works better in the still quiet of dawn…may you and I learn how we are gifted, why we are gifted, and how it can be put to good use in this life.

It may take time to discover, or it may be hidden down in the recesses of our heart….laying buried because we feel it’s inconsequential. But there it is. 

And the world needs it. SOMEONE needs it. Someone needs YOU. Just as you are. Quick or slow. Cautious or risky. Quiet or bubbly.

Step forward. With confidence. Love. Joy. And peace. Do YOU. In color or black and white. But do YOU, knowing you are contributing to life. 

And LIVING it as only you can.

Monday, July 4, 2022

In This World, But Not Of It

“In this world but not of it.” 

My heart’s desire.

I love life. I love to see and experience new things.

But I want to be seen as different, (in a good way).

I hope that people see strength and courage in me that comes from deep convictions.

I hope they want to have the inner joy in me that comes from my faith and my God.

I hope that they want to love with all their heart and soul, as I do.

I hope.

I love America. I also love the people in all the nations I’ve got to step foot in.

I love children and unborn babies.

My heart bleeds for the widowed and the homeless. For the child who doesn’t know the love of a mom and a dad.

This is my world. And I do love it so.

But I always want to be a little bit out of step with it. Sometimes, a lot.

I want to never quite conform. Never quite fit the mold. Never quite be so comfortable that I don’t look up and long for the “ever after”.

In this world, but not of it.

I don’t want to fit in so much, that there is nothing I would long for, apart from my God.

I am so thankful for life. For love. For family, friends, and a world full of mystery and beauty.

But my heart is sold out. Bought at a price. 

And I’m completely “in”. In so deep that I can’t get out. I don’t want to get out.

I want to see what He sees. Love how He loves. Grieve how He grieves. And soak it all in. Feel every minute of the fullness of life. The joys, the sorrows… all of it.

Because I’m in this world. And I love this world. But it can never have my soul.  For I’m not part of it.

I can’t lose sight of where I come from. Or where I’m going.

There is an inner boundary I must always hold up, as I remember where the true treasure is.

May that boundary always hold firm.