Thursday, February 4, 2016

I Want to Choose Grace and Mercy

I’m trying to become a more gracious and merciful person.  There are so many things in life that have the potential to rile me up, get me stressed out, or hurt my feelings. And I’m just “over” most of it.

I’m tired of being jealous. I’ve grown weary of feeling “ticked off.” I don’t want to waste a lot of energy in becoming worried all of the time. So, I made the conscious decision to try implementing more grace and mercy in my life.

Being gracious and merciful to someone else when they make mistakes, neglect my feelings, or act indifferent towards me – has made a big difference in my attitude. It has helped me focus less on what hasn’t happened to me, and more on who I want to be.

It’s helped me be more forgiving. Understanding.

It’s helping me learn to let more things go. And let’s face it, “letting things go” is one of the hardest things we do in life. Our wounded pride just wants to hold on to so much.

I still struggle with some things, of course. I’m only human. But I think I’m getting better at giving people second and third chances. I think I’m getting better at saying, “Yes. They didn’t do right by me. But I’m going to love them anyway.”

And for me, that is HUGE. I’m a very loyal person and when I feel betrayed, I tend to remember. That person never quite holds the same spot in my heart and life again. And that’s just not what I think God wants from me.

I’m learning that people are going to let me down. They are going to disappoint. Neglect. Forget. Hurt. And I have to make the choice of how much I value the relationship. How much I want to love despite the disappointments.

I want to choose to love. I want to choose to understand that someone did indeed, let me down, but that I can move on from it. Truly move on from it. Not just SAY, ”I’m moving on, and hold it deep down inside forever, anyways.” But move on, knowing and remembering, and choosing to set it aside.

Grace. Mercy. Love. Forgiveness. They all go hand-in-hand.

I feel better about myself when I choose to instill these qualities in my heart.  I feel better forgetting about what entitlements I wasn’t given – but instead focusing on, enjoying and knowing I can be the kind of person I seek out in others.

Oh, to find more grace and mercy in life.  I fall so short so often. I, too, disappoint others. I wish I didn’t.  But maybe someone can let my shortcomings go, as I seek to let theirs go, as well.

Then, we all win.

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