Saturday, January 21, 2017

It's Time to Label Yourself With a New Identity

We all like to hide the things we aren’t proud of. Those flaws and scars that we’d rather pretend aren’t there. I’m talking not just about the emotional flaws and scars we’ve gotten in life, but the physical ones, as well.

We like to hide the varicose veins, the scar on our stomach, the tooth that is fake, and the toes that are crooked.  Most people don’t know about them. Why show off something that isn’t pretty? So, we camouflage it.  We use makeup, clothes, and doctors. If we can.

Some of us can’t hide our physical flaws.  We can’t hide the braces, the lazy eye, the thinning hair, or the heavier weight gain. It’s there for all to see.

And it’s not fair. Not in the way that we can’t hide it, but that we feel “not normal” in some way. That so many people forget that they are hiding their own flaws, so they look weirdly at those of us who can’t.

I can guarantee you, that EVERYONE has a flaw somewhere. Whether it’s two different colored eyes, a mole, or a birth mark – everyone has something that makes them unique and distinct. If only we could see those things as beautiful, instead of as blemishes!

If only we told each other about our flaws. Our physical AND our emotional ones. If only we could see that if we brought them out into the light, that they would lose their powerful hold on our identity.

No one wants to feel like they are different. But the thing is? We are ALL different. And we are all the same. We all feel the same things. We all want to be valued. We want to belong. We want to feel lovely.

Maybe if we looked at flaws as things that make us stronger, instead of weaker, we’d look at them differently? Maybe we could see that they are simply tools we can use to help someone else who is hurting. If we could see that, maybe we would grow to not just endure them, but use them to our advantage?

I know I will probably always hate some of my flaws. But the thing is – I never hate someone else’s nearly as much, as I hate my own. I can usually see past the image, to the heart. And I can find someone beautiful. I’m betting a lot of people can, because there is so much beauty to be seen.

It’s US that labels OURSELVES. It’s US that teaches one another what TO and what NOT to accept.

We can love one another despite the flaws and scars we’ve gained in life. And if we can love one another, maybe we can learn to love ourselves too.

Bring those flaws out into the light. Don’t let them hold you hostage anymore.

It’s time to label yourself with a new identity.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Holiday In Bora Bora

I’m still dreaming of Bora Bora. It’s a place that I never thought my feet would land on.  A place that offered my soul some much-needed “down time.” Of course, I was thrust right back into life when I came back home, as there was Christmas and then I got sick for two weeks. But, I digress.

Bora Bora.

I see so many people post pictures of Bora Bora, and say that it’s on their “bucket list.”

And now, I’m fortunate enough to say I’ve been there.

So, I thought I’d share with you a little bit about what I observed, and what tips I would recommend – if you should ever find yourself flying in that direction.

1.     It has the most stunning water I’ve ever seen. If you wonder when you look at pictures, if the water is really that clear, and that blue? Yes. Yes, it is.  It’s awesome. (Does saying, “awesome” date me?)  But, it WAS awesome.  You could see the coral, the stingrays, everything.  And if you are flying in, it is breathtaking to see the different shades of blue as it goes from the island, further out into the ocean.


2.     Bora Bora island is small.  And I mean small.  It has one road that goes around the whole island. You can rent a car, or a scooter and drive around it a couple of times in one day.  There are only – maybe 2??? Smallish towns. Don’t expect to see a movie theater, a mall, or fast food restaurants. They don’t exist.

3.     We stayed at Le Moana Intercontinental. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Yes, we were in bungalow huts over the water. It was so peaceful, so quiet, and very tropical-feeling. You have a glass coffee table in your room and you can open it, (or not,) and look down at the tropical fish below, feeding on your coral. It was one of my favorite things to do. I saw new fish each day.  You also have a private deck. And just the room itself, was terrific. A huge bed, a tall, bamboo ceiling with an overhead fan, and a nice size bathroom.

4.     Bring a collapsible cooler. Our fridge didn’t seem to want to cool things down very much – and I’ve heard this said of others, as well. Get some ice from the ice machine, load in your cooler, and you can put your drinks in there, and put the cooler inside of your fridge. A great alternative.  We could walk to a little market from Le Moana, and buy some sodas there to put in our cooler. Also, Le Moana, gave us a new water bottle each day, which was wonderful.

5.     Food.  Food can be an issue if you are on a budget. Food can be extremely pricey. And we had a hard time finding food that was more affordable. There is a pizza place within walking distance from Le Moana. You can eat there, or get it “carry out” and eat back on your private deck. It’s big enough to share between two people.  There is also the option of ordering from the bar, if you want more casual food. You can also get this as “carry out.” It took us a few days to realize that most places didn’t open till after 6 for dinner, and that if you wanted a burger, fries, or sandwich, they called that type of restaurant a “snack” shack.  A few places seem to be restaurants or snack shacks opened up in people’s homes. But we could never figure out their hours of operation.

We also got the breakfast buffet in our plan, so we ate a big breakfast, snacked on munchies we brought with us and skipped lunch, and then ate dinner. This also saved us some $$.

6.     There is not a lot of tourist shopping. And I love to shop on vacation! Black pearls are HUGE here on Bora Bora. And I mean, HUGE. You will find a lot of these shops. But the pearls are EX-PEN-SIVE. If you want cheap pearls, (under $100), look for locals to sell some at their tables alongside of the road near the towns. But be prepared to find a rougher-looking pearl.  Other than that, you can find a few souvenir shops and that’s about it. Not much comparing of prices or merchandise.

7.     Le Moana offers free paddle boarding, kayaking, canoeing, and snorkeling. We brought our own snorkels and a couple of pool floats that we blew up once we got there.  Bring a book, or some magazines to read. You can even bring a dvd or two – as our TV only had a couple of channels and they weren’t in English. But honestly, we didn’t need to watch anyways.

8.     RELAX! Don’t go to Bora Bora if you don’t want to relax. This is a place to unwind. Slow down. Chill. And relax. It’s a place to recharge.

9.  Be prepared for long wait lines in America and in Tahiti. The airlines don’t seem to open too early before flight time, and they love to “herd” people once you arrive in Tahiti. Just be patient. Wear layers (as it’s very humid in the Tahiti arrival zone and you will get hot and sweaty quickly) and you’ll make it through!

We loved it. The staff were extremely friendly. The location was lush and breathtaking, and it was a gorgeous getaway. It’s like nowhere I’ve ever travelled before.  And I miss it.

Feel free to ask me any questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them. And if you’re going, soak in every second. It’s a joy and privilege to get to go.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Are You Willing To Love Them Through It?

Your friend’s child wants to change their gender.

Another friend is grappling with the thought of suicide.

Your cousin is headed to prison.

Your niece has been in and out of a mental institution.

Most people say, “I’m sorry.” They say, “I will pray for you.” Then they disappear. Or maybe they are there in the beginning, but then grow weary and disappear after a time. After things get REALLY tough.

For a lot of us adults, we remember 9-11 when the twin towers were struck by planes. We know and we remember, how firefighters, police, and rescue workers ran INTO danger, instead of away from it. They ran in to help.

That’s what we need to do. We need to run IN to help.

Who will rescue someone who needs a friend in their moment of need, if everyone is running out of the building? Who will love them when they need to be loved the most? If no one is willing, no one will ever get healed. No one will ever get rescued. No one will ever feel like they are worthy enough to overcome what it is they are battling.

I have this instinct. It is to “love them through it.”  Maybe they don’t think they need me. Maybe their instinct is to push people away because they don’t want what they think they will get…. Pity. Judgment. Ridicule.

What this world needs more of, is love.

Our families, our friends; they need us to love them through their personal battles and struggles in life. That doesn’t mean we need to condone their choices. But we can certainly love them despite them. 

It’s the only way.

Some people don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. They don’t think anyone will be waiting for them on the other side of their challenges. They don’t think anyone can give them grace, or mercy, or forgiveness. They don’t value themselves enough to believe they can overcome, or even that they are cared enough for, to have someone believe in them.

I want to be that someone. Do you? Can you?

Can you love someone through it, instead of running away from something that may be ugly, embarrassing, or tough? Can you love someone enough to invest in helping them find a way to love themselves?

There are people in my life, in your life, who need you. They need not just your words, but your heart.

We are ALL capable of loving.  So love. LOVE! Love with abandon.

And watch lives transform.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Sometimes We Have to Push Through the Difficulties

Sometimes we have to push through the difficulties.

If we ever want to see a reward in our life, we have to “stick in there.”

And we are so good at quitting.

It’s like the rungs on a ladder. Instead of climbing up one by one, pushing ourselves to grow, and go further and higher, so that we can turn around and look back at how far we’ve come…. We look up at the ladder and say, “that’s too high. That’s too hard. It’s too far.” And we dig up our roots and start over somewhere else. In another situation. With other people.

And all we do, is live a life where we are starting over all of the time. We never grow the muscles we need to endure the tough stuff. We never learn that great reward comes AFTER those trying times.

God knows what our heart and soul needs more than we do. We are so good at seeing what we WANT, that we fail to see what we NEED. And sometimes, we just need to be sifted. We need those times in life that seem to go on for a never-ending stretch.

Because God is doing a mighty work in us, and He really wants to complete it!

We interfere. We take the control away from His hands, and navigate our own path.

I love looking back at my path in life and seeing how those times where I shed so many tears, have brought deeper tears in my heart now….. tears of joy and thankfulness at how far I’ve come and at where I am.

I can see all those times where I longed to rely on human skin to help me through… when God told me, “no. I want you to rely on ME.”

So, sometimes we have to push through those difficulties. We have to hold our breath, and keep swimming. There may be choppy waters and strong waves along the way, but we will make it. And we will be forever marked.

It is those “marks” in our life that mold and shape our character. They help grow us – not just for ourselves, but for others, so that we can help mold and shape them along the way too. So that we can help encourage, minister, and cheer them on as they, too, need to learn to dig deep and hang in there.

I’d rather walk like a giant in life, with thick skin, knowing that I’ve made it through some intense battles, than walk with thin skin who can’t withstand much in life, because my muscles are so weak.

The answers may seem far away at times, but God is always working. He’s working even when we can’t see it. He’s working on US.

Let Him.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

We Don't Have to Disguise the Hurt

We’ve all heard it. The words of that well-meaning family member, or friend. They don’t know how to make things better for us, so they offer words that they feel, will lift us out of our frustration.

“It will all work out.”

“It will be ok. You’ll see.”

“Someday, (insert name) will understand all you did for them.”

“You’ll be fine.”

And the words go on and on and on.

They aren’t bad words. But they also, aren’t always TRUE words.

Everything ISN’T always fine.

Everything DOESN’T always work out.

So, here’s what I want to tell you. Grieve about it. Be angry about it. God is big enough to handle it.

Acknowledge that something unfair happened to you and in your life. Don’t try to bury it. Don’t try to ignore it. Don’t try to pretend you are stronger than the unfairness of what happened, or the moments and dreams that you may have lost.

Grieve about it. It’s OK. In fact, it might be necessary.

If you ever want to be healthy, whole, and able to move on with your life… you need to be able to dwell in your frustration, sorrow, anger, and hurt for a bit.

For a “bit.”  Please, don’t live there forever. There are so many more GOOD moments in your life that are waiting to unfold and happen!  But do allow yourself the freedom to feel what you are feeling. There’s nothing in the world wrong with that.

Not everyone gets a fair shake in life. I wish we all did. So many things take left turns and plummets in our lives. But we don’t have to let them defeat us forever. We can turn them around into our testimonies.

Some of those spots in our hearts will always remain a little soft. Tears will always cling to our eyes when we speak of them. Let them. That time HURT. It’s ok to say it, and let people know it.

We don’t have to be tough all of the time. We don’t have to disguise the hurt.

If the bottom drops out of your dreams, you can still climb back up from that pit. Maybe a little wiser because of what you’ve endured. But climb up, you can.

Just take it rung by rung, step by step.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

It Doesn't Matter If You Are Different Than Everyone Else Around You

I’m not a big scarf girl. They look so cute on women, but they kind of strangle me a bit.

I don’t like coffee. I know the whole world pretty much, wants to meet at the local coffee shop for conversation and “catch-up” chats. But I don’t drink coffee. It’s ok. I can have a smoothie, or something else. It’s just the fact that people ASSUME.

I love cats. I always have. I love how you don’t have to worry about where you step in your grass, lest you might step in the wrong spot. I love how they purr when they are happy. I love how they love to be loved and snuggled. And I LOVE how they love laying in the sunshine. Just. Like. Me.  But, this is a “dog” world.

And so, I’m often in the minority.

I don’t have a tattoo.

I don’t drink alcohol.

I don’t like Chinese food.

I HATE to camp and I detest running.

These are things that just astonish people at times. Because people often expect other people to be just like them. To like what they like. To enjoy what they enjoy.  It’s easy to think others are weird if they don’t do what the majority of the world is perceived to be doing.

But that’s ok with me.

I like what I like. I don’t like what I don’t like. That’s how God made me.

We so often want others to mirror ourselves. We feel more accepted, more normal, if others are a reflection of who we are and what we think. But it’s ok to have friends who DON’T mirror you. To enjoy people who are different. In fact, it can be very enjoyable. They can expose you to a lot of new and interesting things in life.

It doesn’t matter if you are different than everyone else around you. Standing out can be a great honor. It can immediately put you in a place of leadership and influence. Even if you are an introvert, people will watch and listen to you – intrigued by your differences. And, an individual is always more memorable than a “pack.”

So, be YOU. Be you in all of your intricate, unique glory. Soak in the thrill of enjoying something that may not be common. Enjoy being different and not having to partake in the trend or fad that everyone else is throwing themselves into.  Trust me…. If you didn’t want to wear a “beehive” hairdo in the 70’s and got made fun of for it? No one would know now. For everything has a time and a season.

You were created to be just as you are. Different than those around you.

Never try to reflect someone else. You are just as you should be.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

It Says So Much

“Honor God in all you do.”

One of my very first cell phones allowed me to put a phrase in the opening window. Those were the ones I chose. “Honor God in all you do.” I put them there, after hearing that phrase somewhere. I don’t recall where, but it was a phrase I wanted to ingrain into my heart.

It was a reminder of the kind of person I want to be. And what better place than your cell phone, than to have those words staring back at you all day long?

When I deal with things in life, I want my priorities to be straight. I want to honor God in every part of my day. Every part of my being. Every part of my choices.

When I’m mad about something… I want to honor God in the middle of that anger.

When my feelings have been hurt… I want to honor God as I deal with that hurt.

When God gives me responsibility, or power… I want to honor God in that elevated position of authority.

Raising my children, being a grandmother, and as a wife… I want to honor God as I carry out those roles.

Whatever it is that I run across in life – I want to be honorable, act honorable, and live honorably.

It says so much.

I have a long way to go. I have a lot of habits to break. A lot of pride to swallow. But little by little, year by year – I pray that I can take baby steps towards this goal, for I want God to find favor with me. I want Him to be pleased.

To be an honorable person. I can’t think of a better phrase that could be said about someone.

I pray, someday, it may be said of me.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Experience Makes You Who You Are

My kids went to karate when they were younger. One night, one of the instructors was talking to the parents, and explaining why they taught the kids, the way they taught. He explained that if you talk to the child, and tell them the right way to break a board with their foot, just telling them wouldn’t have the same effect as the child actually trying to break the board with their foot the wrong way.  Why? Because the wrong way hurts!!

Once you do it, and you feel how it hurts, you learn by experience. You learn the reasons why, and how come. 

I think it’s the same way with life.  So often we don’t want to go through something. We try to forget something that has happened to us in the past, or we even try to simply live life on auto-pilot, without realizing that it’s that very DAILY experience of living that life, that makes us who we are. 

We may not have fond memories of a past event, but it still shapes how we see the world, why we react the way we do, and where we are headed.

I think only trying to embrace the good things in our life can potentially be limiting.  The bad and painful stuff in our lives are what sometimes teach us the most!  We would not be who we are without it.  Our choices based on those events and experiences, mold and shape us – whether we like it or not. 

That’s why it’s never fair to say how we’d act or react in a certain situation. Because until you are in that spot, feeling those feelings, and going through those things – you just – don’t – know.

I want to learn, grow, and better myself because of challenges that I go through. And I want to be able to look back and see why I had to go through those things and how come God allowed me to be sifted in a certain way. I want to see that I learned from each experience and was stronger because of them.

We can go through life trying to pave our own way without acknowledging why we are meant to do something – OR - we can listen to what the whispering of experience in our life is trying to tell us and change our direction accordingly.

We can let it fuel us and make us wiser and stronger.

That’s the way I hope I choose. How about you?

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

When You Don't "Feel" God In Your Life

“I don’t feel God.”

“God just seems so far away. So distant.”

We walk through the desert sometimes in our lives. Those seasons ,where we feel torn in our very souls, because for whatever reasons, we can’t hear God.

We cry out to Him. We long for Him. And we get silence in return.

Those times seem to last for an eternity. The loneliness…. Unbearable. To be separated from God’s presence? To not feel His love? It can be confusing. Frustrating. Hurtful.

We have all had those times. Those seasons where it feels as if we are having to walk through our turmoil alone.

But God never abandons us. Even if we cannot feel Him there.

I’ve heard people say that if you can’t feel God, that it was probably you, that moved and not Him. True. But – what if – what if – He’s also just silently watching? What if He is strengthening u,s by withdrawing from us for a period? What if He is increasing our desire and our craving for Him and only Him?

Sometimes, it truly is US that is causing the void in life.  We are so good about DOING work for God, without seeking the King Himself. Without spending quiet time with Him and prioritizing it. I am raising my hand high on this one. I am guilty, too.

And I believe that our misplaced priorities, our lack of one-on-one time with Him, greatly affects how we see, hear, and feel Him in our lives.

But as I was thinking on all of this, I also believe that sometimes, God is very near to us when we can’t feel Him. He may be closer than the times when we DO feel Him.

Those times when we feel so alone? When we can’t quite seem to touch Him with our heart or catch a glimpse of His breath? Those may be the times that He is closest of all. God in His great love can mold us by being silent. He is there. Oh yes, He is there. He is loving. He is guiding. And He is protecting still. But He is silent. Silent because of His great love for us. Maybe He is silent, because He wants to make our legs stronger, our perseverance longer, and our love deeper.

God knows Satan is cunning. He knows He is distracting. So maybe, just maybe, He uses these times to increase our ability to fight the evil one.

He is increasing the might of His army.

I know that when I’ve looked back on the battles in my life – they were miserable. But God was there. Every time. He was faithful. EVERY TIME.

So, my friend, if you can’t feel God today, please don’t despair.  Look and see if you’re the one who has moved and created the distance. If not, then trust His heart. Trust in His love for you. Even if you feel like you are getting weaker….if you hang in there…. that weakness can turn into great strength. Great compassion.

I wish we all felt the Lord’s presence always. But even if I don’t feel Him, I know He is there. I just know it.

Because He has never abandoned me.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

To Be Slightly, Wrinkled, Tousled, and HUMAN

I don’t know what it is about Texas. Maybe it’s the warmer weather, or maybe it has nothing to do with Texas at all. Maybe it’s me. I’m maturing.  But I feel more and more comfortable to let others see me “not at my best.”

I’ve gone to the hospital in the middle of the night with the neighbor. No makeup. Messy hair. Tshirt and sport shorts. It was gloriously not attractive.

I go out more often with straight hair. And I don’t care who sees me.

I take my daughter to school before I’m ready. Now, hear me out. I used to always, ALWAYS get ready (clothes, hair, and makeup) before taking my girls to school. Now, I often take my girl with my hair pulled up into a messy bun. And sometimes – heaven forbid – I’m still in my sleepwear. But when I say this, I never, ever get out of the car. I just drop her off and then head back home. I do have boundaries!

I’m not getting sloppy.  I still care about my appearance. I’m just getting “comfortable.”

And it feels good.

It feels good to not have to look perfect all of the time.

It feels good to answer the door and know that I have no makeup on, but I can still be myself. It feels good to know people will accept me, knowing that they have seen multiple sides of me….not just my best.

I feel like I’m enjoying life more. I’m enjoying myself more.

These are just moments. Moments where it doesn’t matter as much if I’m in my best clothes and my hair is just right.  They are moments where I’ve decided to ease up on my expectations of myself.  Life has gotten busier, and I’ve decided that I don’t want to wear myself out more than necessary.

So, I’ve prioritized.

You know what? I like the new me. I like the prioritized “me.”  Why did it take me so long to understand that I didn’t have to wear makeup to drop the kids off at school?  No one even sees me, for heavens sake!

We are so hard on ourselves. These things may seem silly to some of you, but to others – you understand. You know the pressure we can put on ourselves to have it all together.

But when we can break down the absurdity of some of the expectations we put on ourselves, we can give ourselves permission to be “raw.” To be real. To be slightly wrinkled, tousled, and HUMAN.

It can be very loveable. It can be very endearing.

It can remind us, that underneath it all, we are ALL imperfect. And that’s okay.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

There Are Just Those Times

There are times where I just need to be myself. I need to be BY myself.

There are times where I need to be able to relax and know that no one is watching me.

Not because I have things to hide.  Not because I don’t feel like I can be myself in the presence of others. But simply, because I need to be able to just BE, without the feedback or looks from others.

I need to be with my own soul. With my own heart. With my own mind.

I need to clear the cobwebs from my head.

There are just those times.  Times where I need to gather myself and understand where I may be feeling “burnout” in my life. Look at what I’m prioritizing, and what needs to be realigned.

I need to do this by myself. With myself. FOR myself.

I can feel it when I go for great lengths of time without getting time to be with myself. I get a little…. Out of alignment.  I feel somewhat off-kilter.  I may be going about things in my life just fine, but inside……. Inside I know I need some ME time.

Time in my own company recharges my soul. It refuels my drive to do the things I’m gifted to do. It feeds me in a way that not many other things can do.

I can close my eyes and think without the voices of others filling my head.

I can dream without the interruptions of other people’s dreams.

I can tell myself hard truths that I need to hear. And I can pamper myself when I need some extra tenderness and softness during challenging seasons.

I can – most of all – hear my God more clearly speak to me. I can more clearly see who He has made me to be. And that can get lost in the busyness of the days.

So, there are those times, where I crave to be alone. Not lonely. Because I will be far from it. But, alone to rediscover and refocus what I want to be about, each year of my life.

You have to go down deep inside at times, to know what the inside wants. So I will cherish those times that I am given to be with my own soul.  I will crave them when they creep away from me, until I can access them again.

I will continue to value the gift of them when they are given to me. Those sweet, sweet times that hold so many treasures to be uncovered.

They give me vision. They give me rest.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

What If We Were Meant To Be Soldiers?

This world is tough.  And we get discouraged. We wonder – “Where are our heroes?”

Life can seem overwhelming. We watch the news in disgust. How did we get to be this kind of a society? This kind of a world?

We look to our leaders. We look to our parents. We look to anyone – but ourselves.  We want someone else to solve the world’s problems, so that we can live more peacefully. So that we can feel safe.

So that we can be happy.

But, what if we are meant to be the soldiers? What if we are the ones called to be the warriors?

Are we willing to get in the fight for the very souls of those we love?

So much is at stake, each and every day.  I look at my kids’ future, my grandkids’ future. And I close my eyes to block out what my heart fears for them. For what I don’t want them to have to experience.

But life keeps moving forward. Time keeps on ticking. And I don’t want to just sit by and watch a world go by. I want to use my voice for good. I want to use my voice to motivate. I want to use my voice to pray and move people into action.

What if something I said could save a life? What if something I did could save a family?

What if instead of sitting and complaining about the state of the world… I am meant to be a soldier in it?

There is so much to fight for. So much to believe in. Am I willing to fight for it? Are you?  Am I willing despite the risks?

Someone has to be.

I am sensitive. I love deeply. I feel for the pain that others feel. So, although I may seem “soft” to others on the outside….. I know I can have inner strength that makes me a warrior on the inside.  A warrior that fights for what’s right and for the very people I proclaim to love.

I choose to take up my sword and shield. I choose to risk getting hurt and wounded – because I know running won’t solve anything. Hiding won’t protect me.

So, I raise my tired head and I prepare to head to the battlefield…. The last place I want to be. But the only place I may be MEANT to be.

Today – someone needs to know that they are being loved. Someone needs to know that they are being prayed for. And someone needs to know that someone is willing to fight for them. To fight for their future.

Someone needs to know there is still good. Still love. Still kindness. And that there is still wrong and right.

I am willing. I’m willing to fight for what is right. 

I am willing to be a soldier.

Are you?

Monday, October 31, 2016

We Can All Be Found

The buffer.  We all implement a “buffer zone” in our lives.  For some of us, it’s physically isolating ourselves from relationships – from getting hurt.  For some of us, it’s the opposite. We participate in any and everything. We have FOMO (Fear of missing out.)

There are some of us who use the buffer to keep others away from us. We set ourselves apart by our physical look; our attitude.

Still others of us, push ourselves to our limits and then some. We have to excel at everything. We don’t know how to relax.

It’s the buffer. We all use it to varying degrees.

Thankfully, some of us have learned to only use it temporarily as we heal from hurts. Others of us, somehow, have allowed it to become permanent in our lives – in our hearts.

We’ve all been hurt. We’ve all stumbled.  It can be easy to panic and say, “We’re not ready” to put ourselves out there again.  We’re not ready to take the risk of falling again. Of hurting again.

Being at the bottom isn’t fun. Being on the outside doesn’t feel good. And losing, hurts.

But the thing is, we can’t find what we don’t allow ourselves to search for.  We can’t fly if we stay on the ground.  We can’t be free if we stay in the chains.

A buffer in our lives is good sometimes. It’s good to give us healing time. It’s good to show us how much healthier we can live with boundaries in place in our lives.

It’s good to take a “ pause” sometimes. To think. To rest. To wait on our own souls to catch up to the moment.

Otherwise, we need to learn to let go of those buffers we’ve set in place in our lives.

It can be scary at first. No one said bravery would come easy.  But we can overcome. Step by step. Grasp by grasp.

We all lose sometimes. But we can all be found.

Take the step. Make the choice. Take the risk.  Lift your eyes upward, and reach for your life. Your joy.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Somewhere Along the Line, You Stopped Being You

Oh, those sweet dreams of our childhood. We dreamed of being rockstars, doctors, lawyers, mommies and daddies.  We dreamed of being loved. Of having perfect little families, in beautiful little houses.

As we grew up – little by little – we got jaded.  Life changed for us. For most of us, our parents taught us we could change the world. They would tell us how special we were, and that we could do whatever we wanted to do.

But then – we’d go out on that job interview, and we’d be told we weren’t good enough. Classmates would bully us, and point out all of our flaws.  We’d feel rejected by peers and the opposite sex. But worst of all? We believed what they had to say about us.

We let their perceptions of us, change us.

And we stopped being “us.”

Instead of knowing our value, we looked for it in the eyes of others.

Instead of facing the wind that blew against us, we let it blow us down altogether.

To know what your worth means, you live like it. You go out and you make the life you know you can have. You don’t wait for it to come to you.

Yes, there will be punches and hits along the way. Life hits hard sometimes.  But if you can take the punches; still knowing who you are, and what you are worth…you will always grow.

Not everyone will see your value or your worth. They will make fun of you. Hinder you. Tell you that you can’t do what you want to do. But it’s up to you to never let them tell you who you are. Despite the hits you will take in life, keep….being….you.

You are priceless. Believe in yourself, and in who you can be. In who you, ARE.

Because if you can’t believe in yourself, no one else is going to take a chance on you, either.


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