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It all comes down to character. Our true heart is shown in the storms of life.
Join with me as we seek to find the
beauty in our storms along with maintaining our character through them. And let us listen for God's voice when it comes - whether a whisper on the breeze or a shout through the hurricane.....

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Not Enough of Me, To Go Around

Some days it just seems like there’s not enough of “me” to go around.

I love to love on others. I try to always give my best and BE my best. But there are just some seasons where I feel like I’m always letting someone down. I feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do, be who I want to be, love on who I want to love on.

And I hate that.

I hate feeling like I need to have two of “me.” I hate feeling behind on things. And if I don’t feel behind on things, I feel behind on taking care of myself and my own emotions and needs.

I’m learning, though. I’m learning that there will never be enough of me to go around. I’m learning that I WILL always disappoint someone – and sometimes, that someone will be ME. Sometimes it will be important to put someone else’s needs and soul ahead of my own. But I need to be aware and recognize, when it’s time to tend to myself. For I can’t give anyone anything, if I’m not giving myself some love too.

I still get a little stressed in these seasons. I want there to be enough of me to go around. But most of the time, I’m learning to make peace with it. I do what I can do. Give what I can give. And be the best me that I can be. Even if that’s not enough for others.

It’s the best I can do. The best I can be. And that has to be enough.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

It Wasn't a Gift I Wanted

We’ve all gotten those gifts that we don’t like. Maybe we found the gift ugly, it didn’t fit our personality, we couldn’t use it, or we already had one. The reasons are as varied as gifts themselves. Regardless, it can be an awkward situation to be in.

I have seen people react in many different ways when they receive something they don’t want or need. I’ve seen people blatantly tell the giver they already have one. I’ve seen people comment openly about not being sure what to do with it, and I’ve seen people be gracious and not say anything at all about what they are truly feeling.

I’ve gotten gifts that I don’t really want. I’ve given gifts to people that I end up seeing that THEY don’t really want! Neither is fun. But I think how you handle the situation is more important than the gift itself – for it shows how much you care about the other person and your relationship.

I, for one, HATE, HATE, HATE returning things. So I will avoid returning gifts to a store if at all possible. I usually try to find some way of using the gift if I can. If it’s just really not “me” at all, yes, I have “regifted” something to someone else before. I don’t think that’s a wrong thing to do.  You see, when someone gives a gift, they are giving you love. It is a blessing for them to give, and a blessing for you to receive. They still receive that blessing if I graciously accept the gift. If I refuse it, or reject it in any way, they DON’T receive that blessing! So, if I later “regift” something that is perfectly new and will bring joy to someone else – I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. As long as the giver is not notified so that they still reap the benefit of being a blessing to me.  I never want to hurt someone else’s feelings!

I’ve had a gift returned to me before. Someone couldn’t use something and they wanted me to be able to give it to someone else who could use it more than they. It stole the blessing I was trying to give to them. I would much rather have had them say a polite ‘thank you,’ and give it as a gift to someone else down the road than to return it to me. For it felt rejected. My efforts felt rejected. And that is never fun.

We need to see past the gifts sometimes into the efforts that someone made to give the gift. It is the effort that is the most important! It truly is the thought that counts, and some people put great, great thought into their gifts. You can feel it. You know it. And it means a great deal and shows how much care they put into giving you a gift of happiness.

Gifts aren’t just “things.” They are pieces of someone’s heart. Take great care when you give one – and when you receive one. For a piece of someone’s heart should always be held with appreciation and love.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

5 Ways To Improve Your Marriage

There are so many tips and ideas for improving a marriage. These are just a few ideas I’ve learned from my own 21 year marriage, as well as observing the marriages of those around me.

1.    Don’t criticize your spouse. ESPECIALLY in public.

Criticizing is a harmful cycle to get into. When we criticize, it usually ends up backlashing on us, instead of doing the thing we intended it to do – getting our partner to acknowledge or change a pattern or behavior.  It’s especially embarrassing when I witness one spouse criticize the other in public. I can only imagine how embarrassing it is for that individual, as well!

When we criticize, it creates hurt feelings. Our spouse will have a sour taste in their mouth for us, instead of focusing on the true issue at hand.

2.    Don’t forget small kindnesses.

The longer you’ve been married, the more comfortable you get with one another. Comfort is good, but not so much comfort that you forget what it’s like to tend to one another. Remember when you were dating and you met each other’s needs and did little things for each other? Those gestures go a long way in a marriage. If one spouse is especially tired or needs encouragement, leave them a special note in a hidden spot where they will find it. Do a chore for them, “Just because” they always do it! Think about how nice it would be to go and do something you always do, only to find it already done! Small kindnesses are so inexpensive and easy to do. Their lasting effects on a marriage can not be overemphasized enough.

3.    Forgive and swallow your pride.

Swallowing our pride is a hard, hard thing. But we can’t move forward in our marriages without sometimes swallowing that thing down – no matter how much it hurts. Forgiving and swallowing pride allow room for error. And we all make errors! They allow room for growth. They force us to become more humble and generous.  Marriage should be teamwork. So if your spouse wins at something, you win too. And vice versa. It should be a “win-win” for both partners as they seek to put each other first.

4.    All marriages have bad seasons.

There will be ups and downs in your marriage walk together. You will be “in sync” and “out of sync” with each other. You will want different things at times. It’s normal and it’s natural.  Just because these things happen, don’t panic! They don’t mean you’re headed for a divorce. These are just times you need to work through as a couple. Acknowledge them.  Sometimes the only thing you can do, is promise your spouse you will keep trying to be on the same page as them. Then, you continue to be committed to one another until something clicks and the bad season fades away. It’s a cycle. Because we are human, we all stretch and grow. So do marriages.

5.    Pray.

There may be no greater gift that you can give your spouse than prayer. Sometimes we need to fight for someone we love, when they can’t fight for themselves. Prayer does this.   There may be issues that you aren’t ready to discuss with your spouse, but you can discuss with the Lord. God can prepare your heart (or theirs). He can protect them, give them wisdom, guidance, encouragement…. So many, many things! Prayer can improve your marriage in mighty, mighty ways.

I believe that marriages make us better people. We have to adapt, stretch, grow, be selfless, and I also think they make us healthier people because of that love and accountability we have with our spouse.

The grass is always greener where you water it. So if you want to improve your marriage (and every marriage can always improve), never stop watering. Continue to look for ways to better yourself personally, as well as a couple. 

There is no investment that is greater than family.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

When We Give In

I can be a very stubborn person. I don’t like to “give in” if I feel very strongly about my stance, view, or position on something. But over time, I’ve been learning a few very important lessons about “giving in.”

“Giving In” doesn’t necessarily mean I was wrong and the other person was right. Sometimes, it means that I value the relationship more than I value my position of having to feel and “be” right.  It may mean I’m choosing to pick my battles and this particular one wasn’t as hefty as I know some others might be. But it doesn’t mean I was wrong.

“Giving In” doesn’t mean that I’m weak. Like I said, I can be stubborn. I can hold onto my pride if I feel I might be embarrassed, humiliated, or look foolish.  So at times, “giving in” can be the last thing I want to do. But sometimes you have to “give in” for the sake of sanity. For the sake of your emotional and physical well-being. For the sake of relationships.  You have to choose your priorities. I need to realize that I can swallow my pride more easily, than I can repair a broken relationship. I’m learning, that it takes greater strength to “give in,” at times, than it does to hold my ground. Holding our ground can be easy; but to make a choice we wouldn’t prefer or would rather not do? That takes greater strength. And greater love.

“Giving In’ doesn’t mean I’m giving up.  It means I value something greater.  Of course not every situation should demand that I “give up.” If something is morally or legally wrong, I should always stand firm in what I value and believe. If someone could be in danger? Never “give in” to hiding it.  But normally, life asks me to “give in” on a smaller scale. Those issues may be very important to me, but are not life-altering for someone.

We dig our feet in so many times, in life. We can be selfish and stubborn in the quest for someone to simply acknowledge “we were right.” But in the end, “rightness” doesn’t always win. Sometimes you have to let something go, for the ability to simply be able, to move on in life. To get past it and to grow.

You can still be strong. You can still be compassionate. You can still be “right.” But by “giving in,” you can now, also, move forward. And sometimes, that is what is needed the most.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

We Get Hung Up On the "But's...."

We are “hard-to-please” people.  We desire, wish for, and want things in our lives. But then when we get them, they often don’t seem to be perfect for us. They should have come sooner, lasted longer, had different people involved in them.

We get hung up on the “but’s.”

“But…. God, if only I would have moved here 3 years ago!”

“But…. I had to give up this, in order to get that.”

“But… didn’t last long enough.”

We are thankful, BUT, not thankful enough.

We are happy, BUT, not happy enough.

There is always something missing. Something “more” we wish would have been added to the picture.

It’s not enough for us, that we get answers to prayer, because they don’t measure up to what our expectations of them were.

Oh, how ungrateful, and how unthankful we can be!

I’ve caught myself, many times, saying, “But….” And yes, I did feel the feelings and thoughts of those very “but’s.” I do wish some things were different. Stronger. Longer. Gentler. More beautiful.  But I do not want to diminish the gift they already are! I do not want to think so much on what didn’t come with my answered prayer, that I fail to see what did!

A “but,” is only our refusal to accept what is. It’s our denial and stubbornness at play. It’s our pride.

God does SO much for us. He sends us jobs, money, friendships, healed relationships, new homes, and sooo much more. His timing and His ways are perfect. So we can forget about wishing that our answered prayers had come sooner, lasted longer, or arrived in a different package. They are just how God wants them to be for us.


May we stop getting hung up on those “but’s…..” in our lives. They only interfere with our joy and blessings. 

Let’s notice them when they come, and stop them in their tracks. Before they start arriving too often.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

It's Not ALL About You... But Sometimes a Little Bit About You

“It’s not about you.” We hear that so often. And it’s true.  We shouldn’t be “me” focused, in this life. Those who give to others, love on others, and focus on bettering other people’s lives and making a lasting impact for good… they are happier.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t need anything. It doesn’t mean we are content to be ignored.

For everyone needs love.  And everyone needs to feel valued.

Everyone craves touch.  An encouraging word.  Someone to notice them.

Some of us may not need it as much as others; but we all need it.

We need each other.

So, although it’s important to not get caught up in our own crisis, problems, and our own little world – it’s also important to have a support system, people we can talk to, and those who will invest in us.

No one should go through life all alone.

We can thrive on giving and loving; but an empty well still needs to get filled up from time to time. And we can empty ourselves into others so much, that we don’t notice when we start feeling dry, until we’re already there.  And as good as we can be at listening to positive speeches, reading motivating words, or relaxing… we still need others to recharge us and invest into our lives.  We need to know that we matter!

So, if you are a giver – good for you. I bet you have a content heart and life. But allow others to give to YOU once in awhile.  If only for your soul. 

We all need to feel loved in addition to loving on others. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be encouraged.  Make changes in your life, if needed, to make sure that you get that emotional connection that your heart craves from time to time.

You may be surprised. Sometimes we think everyone already has all the friends they need in their lives. But, most people always have room in their lives to love and be loved on by a new friend. Invite them in.  Open your heart.

And get that well filled up.

It’s NOT all about you. But sometimes, it’s a little bit about you.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Our Own Insecurities Can Sabotage Us

Insecurities. Ohhhh – those blasted insecurities! They can balloon into monsters in our hearts and lives. They can get out of control when WE don’t feel we are in control. They can ruin relationships. Hurt, feelings. Cause misunderstandings. All because we react to circumstances based on those same insecurities.

If we feel like we don’t have control of a situation….

If we jump ahead of a situation and react based on how we FEAR someone will act…..

If we let our feelings be hurt because someone didn’t choose to act or respond in a way we think they should have….

If we don’t feel as important as we want to feel….

….. we can let those insecurities damage our reputation. Because we let them rule and take over our heart and head. We let them tell us the way things SHOULD be. And we react. We REACT before we have all the information on someone or something. We REACT before we let ourselves calm down. We REACT before we really think about a situation and try to understand.

And we sabotage everything.

No one else sabotaged our relationship. WE did. Out of fear. Out of feelings of inadequacy. Out of loneliness. We did it to ourselves.

 Sometimes we have it all. We have the love of those in our lives. We have their trust. We have their loyalty. And then we damage everything by the way we handle things. By the way we react. The very things we fear start to happen. We lose their trust. We lose their loyalty. Their time invested in us.

It’s so frustrating to everyone involved.

Insecurities are never our friend. They are issues that lie within our own souls that need to be resolved. Healed. Addressed. Oftentimes, those insecurities are never echoed by those around us. They are merely shouted at us from our own voices. From Satan.

We are ALL flawed. We ALL mess up. It’s what makes us human. Unique. That doesn’t mean we aren’t still valuable. Gifted. Loved.

Listen to what God says about you and who you are. You are lovely. Beautiful. Delightful to Him. Made for a purpose. Repeat that to yourself over and over. And chase those insecurities out the door. Or at least squash them into smaller voices. Don’t let them ruin the beautiful things and relationships you have in your life. Don’t let them chase you into a corner where you only hear them speaking. Step out into the open and leave them in the shadows. Today.

Your life is a gift. It may not be wrapped perfectly –but it’s a gift just the same. Let others enjoy that gift. And let life be imperfect. That’s what makes it a beautiful story.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Do You See Goodness In Yourself?

Sometimes, when we have dealt with great hurt and pain, we take it out on ourselves. It’s a way of punishing ourselves. Even if it wasn’t our own mistakes that we dealt with, but the choices of someone else, we can often internalize those hurts – thinking that we aren’t worth much. We somehow end up believing lies about who we are.

Over time, we can even forget where we started. We just become this person of anger, hate, coldness, and meanness.  We become what we believe ourselves to be.

It can be hard to love this kind of person. It can be hard to BE loved, if you are this person.

Life can kind of suck you into a momentum and cycle of pain. Even if you don’t want to be there, you can easily find yourself feeling out of control and at the mercy of the circumstances you’ve found yourself in.

You don’t know who you are anymore. And you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror.

All it takes is one person. One person to see into you. To tell you that you are loveable. Valuable. GOOD. That they see something in you, that even though it may be tucked deep down inside – it still exists.

And then it just takes you…. To believe them.

Even though we make mistakes in life, even though we’ve compromised and hurt others, there is still good in us. We just have to give it a chance to find its way out.

No one is beyond hope. No one is beyond help. No one is too far gone, that they can’t be loved. That they can’t be redeemed.

I think there is a part of all of us that wants to be good. To be seen as good, honorable, and worthy.  Don’t stop believing in yourself. Don’t stop believing in that “someone” you care about. Look deeper. Harder. Longer. And help them see that there is something priceless and valuable inside that is buried beneath all of the “crud” that lies on top.

Every choice can take us down a different path. And there are so many more choices to made. If you’re still breathing, there is still hope. Still time to change your course.  Still time to develop the goodness that exists in your heart.

You can do it.

I believe.

Friday, October 23, 2015

You Can Wake Up, Feeling Loved For

It was just another Friday, not that long ago.  I woke up, grabbed my phone and was preparing to scroll through Facebook, before I took my daughter to school.

I got that little alert noise at that exact moment. Someone was on periscope. I went to check it out, and it was a lady. She was praying. Praying over us. Praying over us, as writers.

I closed my eyes and let her words pray over me. And it felt so good. It felt so right to start my day that way. I thought, “How wonderful it would be, to wake up every morning, and have someone pray over you!”

I continued on with my morning, and as I was coming home from taking my daughter to school, I was listening to Christian radio. Thinking again, how this just added to the previous prayer in starting my day right. Jeremy Camp was on, singing about the power that we have through God. As if God were reminding me.

Then, it happened. As I was driving, I looked up into the sky, because the sun was coming out. And I saw it.

A cloud – in the shape of a heart. I kid you not.  It was as if God was telling me, “I love you.”

I got tears in my eyes. I grabbed my phone and waited to turn into my neighborhood, so I could pull over and take a picture. It was only about a minute away. I looked up again as I turned into my neighborhood, and that heart cloud was gone.

God placed it there for my eyes alone.  For me. Personally. No one else.  And once I saw it and felt His love, it was gone.

What a different way to start my day! What a PERFECT way to start my day. With HIM.

How often I neglect Him. How often, I start my day with my own thoughts and agenda. No prayer. No Bible Verse. No Christian music. NO GOD.

Oh, what I miss out on!

If only we could all wake up feeling loved for, as I did on that Friday morning. I wish that for all of us.

Monday, October 19, 2015

We NEED Better

We need to DO better.

We need to be better friends. Better parents. Better fighters, for what is moral and right.

We should speak up more. Speak up less. Be wiser. More understanding.

We need to be more discerning. Gentler. More compassionate.

We need to be THERE for one another. Not just in words, but in presence.

We need to strive for excellence in all we do. Go the extra mile. Persevere. Run to win the race in whatever we undertake in life.

We need to think of ourselves less, yet take care of our emotions and feelings, more.

We need to BE better.

We need to have more patience. Slow down. Laugh more.

We need to forgive more readily. Love more freely.

We need to stop taking everything so personally. Let things go. Move on.

We need to yell when things are unfair, and cheer when things are good.

We need to KNOW what is better.

Life is flying by. Slipping through our grasp. People are hurting, dying, and feeling alone. We sooo need to love better.

I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to know what’s better, and love better.

Do you?

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Something For the Golfer In Your Family

Tuesday, I was blessed, along with some other San Antonio bloggers, to get to go out to the JW Marriott resort here in San Antonio, and take a peek at their San Antonio Golf Championship going on this week.  I grew up going to the golf course, as my grandpa would play in Senior Tournaments every year. I have fond memories of walking the course, picking up acorns, and when we were really lucky, we got to ride along on the back of my grandpa’s golf cart.

As I got older, my dad took up golfing, along with my other grandpa. So I would occasionally go out to the course and walk alongside them while they played.  All that to say, golf makes me feel happy, because it has a lot of warm memories tied up into it.

The TPC course at the JW Marriott is gorgeous. So many of the golfers love it there because of the good condition of the greens. It’s scenery is pristine, with the view of treetops in so many spots. So whether you are playing, or observing, it’s enjoyable.

The San Antonio Championship by AT&T is for the best players in golf over the age of 50.  One of the highlights of the San Antonio Championship is the Pro-Am. This is where amateur golfers can sign up to play alongside a professional golfer! There are no age restrictions on the Pro-Am, so if you have a little budding golfer and they are 7, or 9, or 16 – they have the opportunity to play alongside a pro.  There is a drawing the night before playtime, where each golf group (4 amateurs to 1 pro) gets to see which pro they will be playing with.  I think this is such a neat idea for golfers to be able to do something they enjoy, plus get up-close-and-personal with a pro.  You don’t have to live in San Antonio to sign up for the Pro-Am. You can live in Florida, Oregon, or anywhere…. And just come into San Antonio for the week of the Championship to play! Of course, you can’t do it this year, but definitely look into signing up for next year!

After the Pro-Am, the 81 champion golfers will play in the Championship from Friday-Monday. They are playing for a purse of $1.8 million!!!

This is the 31st year of the San Antonio Championship and it couldn’t be held at a more stunning resort than the JW Marriott. In addition to the top-notch facilities, the people there are super friendly, highly personable, and ready to go out of their way to see that your needs are met.

I really enjoyed my time there getting to shuttle around to some of the greens and tees.  I highly recommend taking your loved one, or your family out for some beautiful time outdoors, in a great environment watching some golf and enjoying some of the exhibits and vendors they have set up.  You can also catch the pro’s play in the championship on the Golf Channel if you’re not able to go out and attend personally.

But if you can, go out and spend a little time there this weekend. You can get some exercise, enjoy the beautiful sunshine San Antonio is still having, spend some time with your spouse or kids who are interested in golf, and enjoy the beauty of the outdoors at a luxury resort. It’s surprisingly affordable, and fun!

You just might run into me out there, as well.

Ticket information:

Tournament history information:

**I was treated lunch and given some free items as a blogger, but all opinions, thoughts, and words are solely mine.

Monday, October 12, 2015

When Your Hiding Place Has Become a Home

What battles have you waged in your life? What is it, that makes you feel like your heart and soul are locked in a cage? Do you feel free to be YOU? Do you feel labeled, defined, stuck in a role?

Have you put yourself there?

There are so many things in life that have hurt us. Ever since we were little, we have become broken pieces. Bit by bit.

All of us.

Some of us, allow ourselves to be put back together again. We wear the scars, but we are able to find beauty in the broken parts of our lives. Others of us, we just – stay – broken.

Somehow, we don’t know how to get fixed. We are lost.

We hide behind food and weight. Drugs. Alcohol. Achievement. Success. Perfectionism. Service. A smile, perhaps. But we hide.

We’ve hidden so long, we don’t even know we are hiding anymore. Our hiding place has become home.

Oh, precious soul. There is so much more beauty, joy, and love to be found in your life! You don’t have to hide. Not anymore.

You can be fixed. You can find wholeness. You will have scars – always. But those scars can only prove that you are a survivor. You made it.

You overcame.

“It” didn’t win over you.

You can help others. Those others who struggle with the same things. You can help them find their voice, their joy. Their beauty.

And in doing so – you will find yours.

You will see how your story has made you even more beautiful.

Those tears don’t have to fall forever. They don’t have to fall in private.  Bring them out into the light.

Let yourself be loved. Let yourself heal.

You deserve that. There are people out there, ready to help you. They are reaching for you with open arms. Grab hold and step out of your hiding spot.

You don’t need it anymore.

Friday, October 9, 2015

When You Feel Like You Are Doing the “Loving,” More Than the “Being Loved”

Man, I hate disappointment. I hate it when someone lets me down. I know it will happen from time to time in life, but I still hate it when it’s my turn, or my families’ turn to experience it.

Heartache.  No fun any way you look at it.

Relationships are tricky. Emotions – overwhelming. They sneak up on you at times, and take over.

You can think something wouldn’t bother you – but then it does.

You can think you’d be brave in a certain situation, but then you’re not.

It’s the intricacies of loving and being loved.  Sometimes we feel like we are doing more of the loving, than of the “being loved.”

And boy, does it stink.

I wish I could tell you there is a way around it. I wish that I had some magical words to help you take these moments with stride.

I don’t.

For I haven’t been able to figure out how to take them in stride, myself. Not for me – and certainly not as a wife and mama; when I see my family members disappointed by others.

What I do know, is that sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some. Sometimes others bless us, and sometimes they neglect us. It’s a “spin the wheel” kind of thing. And you never know just who it will land on. The more you care for someone, the more it hurts when they are the ones who disappoint.

It can be easy for me to want to bail on someone when they disappoint me. I want to say, “I’m done.” For if they so obviously don’t care as much as I do, why invest the time? And I do believe healthy boundaries should be set in relationships so you don’t set yourself up to be hurt over and over and over again. So you don’t set yourself up to be used.

But, I also believe – no, I KNOW, that I have disappointed others. And I didn’t mean to.  I would never intentionally hurt someone else. So, maybe, I need to give others the same grace that I would like extended to me when I disappoint.

Grace.  And mercy.

I would still like to enjoy “being loved” as much as I enjoy “loving.” I would still like to be blessed, instead of neglected. But I know I can’t go through life accepting one, without the other. That’s not how it works.

So, I continue to love. And I continue to get hurt.

And I continue to live. 

That's the price of love.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

What Are They Scared Of?

They try to hide us. The world.

They try to pretend we don’t exist.

They want to shut us up. Put us down. Mock us. Prove we are lunatics. All because of our faith.

What are they scared of?

I think we make them see themselves as they are, as if they are looking in a mirror and seeing underneath their own skin – into their heart and soul, for the first time.

They don’t like what they see.

They don’t like what they think WE see.

But don’t they know, we still love them? HE still loves them?

Don’t they know we don’t mean them harm?


They still do what they can to hurt us. Kill us. Imprison us. Take away our voice.

And yet the WORD lives on. It cannot be quenched. It cannot be killed.

And it never will. For God is the beginning and the end. The first and the last.

Now and forevermore.

And deep down – the world knows it. Maybe that’s why they run so scared.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

We Need Other People To Speak Into Our Lives

We need other people to speak into our lives.

It can be so easy to live life today without true connections with others. We don’t like any churches so we say we will just live by faith at home.  We don’t want to do “Small groups” or “connection groups” if we DO do church because it can be uncomfortable or we don’t particularly click with the people we were placed with.  We don’t go to Bible Study, we don’t have close friends.

It can be isolating. Not only that, we can grow so comfortable in that isolation that we don’t see that it’s isolating.

In this kind of a life, the only voice we hear in life is our own and our immediate family’s.  We may have a great family. But family isn’t always objective.

As far as our own voice goes, we can be our most critical influence in life. We can be so hard on ourselves. Negative. Picking out all of our flaws and faults. Or on the other end of the scale, we can ignore our flaws and faults. We can gloss over areas of our heart and life that need to be worked on.

Yes, we need other people to speak into our lives. We need Godly influences. Moral people. People of character. People who are reliable and whom we can trust. We need SEVERAL people. Just as we shouldn’t only listen to one pastor or one Christian speaker, we shouldn’t just listen to one friend or influence in our life. For even if intentions are good, we can often be led astray. But if you have several people inputting and speaking into your life, then you can better filter what is being said. If people are reiterating the same thing, then usually that is advice that needs to be heeded and listened to.

It’s all for our good. For our growth.

Finding good influence can be hard, at times. Maybe you’re looking and you’re struggling to find those people whom you can trust. People who really care about you. Keep praying about it. Keep looking. Oftentimes you can find them in places you hadn’t thought of. Yes, sometimes, it’s at church, but other times it might be at the gym, or at work. Maybe it’s the fellow parent of your teen whom you keep bumping into.

Keep praying about those voices. Keep seeking them out. For we are always better together, than alone.


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