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It all comes down to character. Our true heart is shown in the storms of life.
Join with me as we seek to find the
beauty in our storms along with maintaining our character through them. And let us listen for God's voice when it comes - whether a whisper on the breeze or a shout through the hurricane.....

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Unwanted





Oh, feelings of inadequacy! You came to us uninvited.

Fear that swept in like a tidal wave and stole our joy, you too, showed up uninvited.

Worrisome and blue thoughts – we never asked you to stop by – or to stay a long while.

Loneliness, we’re sure you picked the wrong house. For we only sought friends to stop by.

You were all uninvited. And yet, we let you stay. We believed the lies you whispered to us. We let you turn our heads away from the content, trusting, and courageous thoughts that we were having before you rang our doorbell.

We shouldn’t have let them enter. But we did. And now we don’t know how to get them to leave.

Those unwelcome and unwanted visitors that steal away the truths that God has handed to us. Those truths of being valued, wanted, delighted in, and handed strength to. The unwelcome visitors are so loud and ‘in-our-face’ that we have no room left to remember the faithful friends we already had with us.

That’s satan for ya. He loves to come in when we think the ground is solid and sweep it out from under us.

We all have dealt with those uninvited guests in our lives. We ALL have struggles with them  - some of us deal with all of them at once, while others deal with one or two at a time. But they get around. They like to visit and invade our homes and our hearts.

It’s time that we take our hearts and our minds back. It’s time to let these unwelcome feelings and thoughts know that it’s time for them to leave.

Usher them out the door. Hang out a ‘no soliciting’ sign and be on the watch – always. Know when you are vulnerable to unwelcome visitors stopping by. Don’t open the door to them.

We have a shield that we can use to protect us.

We have wisdom to help guide us.

We have strength to help arm us for the battle.

We have joy to help heal us from the wounds that are left behind on our battle-scarred bodies.

We have these tools at our fingertips in God’s Word. He’s given it to us to help us keep those walls of protection up. To know when an unfriendly visitor is disguised as a friendly one. But we have to listen to Him. We have to speak to Him. We have to read the words He’s spoken to us.

Otherwise we are left out in the open – vulnerable. Unprotected. Unarmed. And scared.

Friend, you are not in this battle of life alone. Whether it’s an emotional, spiritual, or physical battle. It can be fought and it can be won. There are others out there fighting the good fight just like you.  They can help you. Encourage you. Love on you and strengthen you.

You don’t have to be a victim anymore. You don’t have to sit there and let the unwanted take over your life.

Nor do I.

Satan would like us to think we have no choice. We’re stuck. But we’re not. God wants us to be victorious.

So let’s fight! Fight hard! Fight for your own life, your own worthiness, and your own mind. No one should have to live their life with unwanted guests stealing their inheritance.


Not you. And not me.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Are We Afraid God Won't Say 'Yes?'


I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I don’t pray big enough. I’m too realistic, too conservative.

I’ve always been a dreamer but somehow over the course of my lifetime, I grew to be practical, as well. Maybe it’s the “mom” in me. The moment my children came into this world, I was very cognizant of life and all the realities it brings with it.

Yes, in my prayer life, I often ask God for things. If we’re honest, I think most of us ask Him for more than we thank Him for. But, in my asking, I don’t find that I’m often audacious with my requests. I don’t ask for much. I don’t often choose to ask Him for something that would overwhelm me or blow my off of my feet.

Why? Am I afraid that God won’t say ‘yes?’

I want to dream big dreams. I want to throw my wishes out to God and see Him do above and beyond all that I could think or ask! I want to see His power at work. In my life. In my kids’ lives.

So, I’ve decided I don’t pray big enough.  I’m not bold enough and I haven’t dreamt enough for myself, or my family in a long time.

It’s about time I start. It’s about time I change that.

How about you? Are you an audacious pray(er) or are you “safe” in your prayers? Do you ask for patience as you deal with an illness, or do you ask for healing? Do you pray big prayers for your children?

Let’s start abandoning our practical side when it comes time to pray. Let’s truly throw our dreams at the Lord and see what glorious things He can do!


He might just be waiting for us to ask!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Parenting Is a Process




I’d like to think I’m a “cool” mom. But the great thing about parenting is how it humbles you. Just when I think I’m doing things right and am on the smooth track, one of my children will tell me that something I do really irritates them and that they hate it.

Yikes.

I hate it when that happens. Coolness factor goes out the door quickly!

Sometimes of course, I don’t agree with my children or see why something I say or do would bug them. Sometimes I can see the error in my ways and I apologize and try not to do or say the offending thing again. But either way, I try to work with my kids on the issue. I may try to explain my position or I may ask God to show me how to be more open in changing my approach. I don’t want them to think that life is all about them, yet at the same time I truly want to weigh what they have said to see if there is some merit in it.

To me, parenting is a process. Just like life is a process. I’m always learning, I’m always growing and I’m always changing.

I remember telling someone years ago that I hadn’t changed. That I was the same person inside that they knew year’s prior. But I was wrong. I’m always changing. I’m constantly learning things that God is teaching me and I’m tweaking who I am to be a more Godly wife, mother, and woman. I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Sometimes the process is painful, embarrassing – or as in the case I mentioned above with my kids: humbling.


I’m not perfect. Not even close. But I do try to have honest, pure motives in what I do and how I treat those in my life. Yeah – I’d like to think my kids think I’m “cool,” but I know in reality this will not always be the case, as much as I hate to acknowledge that fact. Life is not about “coolness” … it’s about relationship. And the one I have with my kids is more valuable than any “cool” factor ever could be. If I’m doing something for their good, regardless of whether or not they like it, I’m going to stick to my guns.  Because I love them.  Hopefully, I can still be somewhat “cool” in the process. But if not, at least I will know that I did right by them and right by God. And that’s all anyone can ask.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Shaped By Loss




My first experience with loss came when I was just 6 years old.  My great grandma died. I remember seeing her in her hospital bed – so very frail. I have few memories of time spent with her but those that I do have are very tender. My favorite memory is the chocolate milk she would make for me whenever I came over.

My next real loss would come hard and deep. I was in 5th grade and my grandpa died suddenly of a heart attack. Just 3 weeks later, my uncle would die in a plane crash. That was a tough year for our family.

That would begin my journey of losing a great many special people in my life. I lost a couple of dear family friends to cancer. and a friend in high school was hit by a car and killed. Then the summer after I graduated from high school, a boy I had grown up with died in a drunk-driving accident. I took that very hard as well.

As a young adult I lost two cousins to suicide.

I lost other special people in my life as well.

I’ve seen what can happen in life. Maybe that’s why I’m so cautious and careful – never feeling too risky about things.  Or maybe, just maybe that’s why I seem to feel such deep empathy when others are in pain. I can even feel pain for someone I’ve only heard or read about in the news! I think it’s because once you’ve been there… well… you just get it.

I am so thankful that my children haven’t really had to experience many deaths in their young lives yet. They are lucky. By the time I was their age I’d already lost so many cherished ones.

Loss is a part of life. Not a fun part – but a part just the same. In time, you DO heal and you do start to smile and laugh again. Yet you are shaped and formed by what has happened to you. It is up to you to decide if you will be colder, harder, and less willing to love and be loved … or if you will tell others how much you care about them more often and try to make the most of your every moment. It’s up to you to decide how you will spend your time and to what you will devote your life to.

We are here for a reason. It may seem a simple clichĂ© but it’s so very true.  We have just one life to give and live. And no matter how yours was shaped or formed – whether you endured great hardship, or loss as I did; you can make the most of your today and your now. You can use what happened to you to encourage and embrace others who are hurting. You can use the pain in your past and instead change it to courage and strength instead of loss and hurt.


We are all formed and shaped by something in our lives. I happen to think that it’s the losses in my own life that have added the beauty, dimension, and tenderness in my soul that wouldn’t have otherwise been there. I’d like to think that through great loss is great gain if you will only look for it. It’s in there to be found – that lesson and that jewel that only God can show you.  May you find it and use it well.

Friday, January 16, 2015

For He Loved Me


“It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them.”
Psalms 44:3



…”For you loved them.”

That last line just brought such warmth to my heart and a sweet smile to my lips. It was a good reminder to me of all the spiritual battles I have fought in life. Or thought “I” fought in life.

So many times we think it’s us doing the battle. We think we are wielding this sword and fighting on a daily basis whatever it is that has been placed in front of us. But it’s not our swords or our arms that bring us victory. No – it’s God. It’s HIS arm, HIS hand, and the light of HIS face that brings about victory…not anything we did. Not that we prayed mightily enough, were good enough, were strong enough, or that we were blessed enough. No, it is simply because God loves us.

Sometimes truths so simple are the hardest to take in. We think there must be more. But there’s not. God does things for us simply because He loves us and He desires to bless us.

Yes, I believe He wants us to get on our knees and pray. I believe He wants us to use what tools He’s given us in our faith, but those are more for our own growth and walk than they are for results, really.

Anytime I think I’ve done something enough; if I would just fast more often or pray harder – then the focus is on “me” and what I can do – not one what my God can do.

It’s good just to remember that it is not by might but by God’s that wins battles.

For He loved me.




Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Doing The Hard Thing


Hard things.  What makes them bearable? Doable? Where do you find the inner strength that you need to endure them?

I decided recently that I can put up with almost anything, endure tough things, stretch my comfort zone, and deal with hurts & disappointments…. If they are for the Lord.  I mean – if my attitude ultimately impacts someone for the Lord, then it’s worth it.  If I sacrifice something for the Lord, it’s worth it.  If I’m hurting but I know that ultimately that hurt will be worth it because I’m giving it over to the Lord and He will use that situation or hurt for His greater good – then it’s so worth it.  But things just don’t seem very bearable or doable without being able to lean on the Lord or knowing that He will use them.

I think that is where hope is so valuable. In my life, I have hope because I know I can turn to God and He can bring good from what I am going through or use it in a mighty way. If I couldn’t turn to Him, things would just feel so very lonely, hopeless and empty.

Hard things come into our lives all of the time. It’s hard to forgive someone who has hurt us deeply. It’s hard to sacrifice our desires, dreams, and wishes – especially if other people benefit who may not deserve them.  It’s hard to feel like we are forgotten or “shafted” – not noticed.  It’s hard to do the right thing when the wrong thing feels so good at the moment! It’s hard to swallow our pride, let go of our bitterness, or squelch our anger. It’s hard.

Doing something hard is worth it though. It’s worth it if you do it for the right reasons. Do it for the Lord and not yourself.  If you do it for yourself that only keeps the focus on yourself and you don’t really benefit in the long run. But if you do it for the Lord, then you have a greater cause and something that motivates you to be better, stronger, wiser.

Yes, doing something hard is worth it if it’s for the Lord.  I know that I can do anything if it’s for my God.  You can too. Find the inner strength you seek by giving those hard things over to Him today.

Monday, January 12, 2015

20 Things I Learned In The Last Year


I believe no matter how old a person gets, that they should always be learning in life. There is SO much to learn; we can never possibly know it all! Learning can be fun. It can be freeing. It can inject energy and motivation into an otherwise “stuck” or dull routine. It can lead you down a whole new path in life that you’d never considered!  It can keep your mind alive. It can keep you interested, and interesting, to others.

So, I thought I’d sit down and see just what I learned in the last year.  These are in no certain order or “greatness.” A lot of things people learn in life, is small. Or it may seem small to someone else. But learning is learning – no matter what size or shape it comes in. And just taking the ability to allow yourself to adapt, adjust, or change somehow – no matter how itty bitty the steps, is a great thing.

1.     I learned to like broccoli. I resisted and resisted, but my daughter’s fiancĂ© finally got us to try it in a pasta dish in very small, tiny, cut up pieces. Now, I can’t get enough of it! I don’t like to eat it plain – but I love it in soups, rice dishes, salads, and pasta. Something I once cringed and turned my nose up at, I now keep consistently stocked in my fridge.

2.     I learned how to drive in a big city like San Antonio. Well, I’m STILL learning a bit on this one. But I’m managing.

3.     I learned that scorpions freak me out. Not that this was a huge surprise.

4.     I learned how hard it is to make a balloon animal.

5.     I learned that my God can STILL surprise me.

6.     I learned that I can go 8 ½ weeks without internet service – even if I hate every minute of it.

7.     I learned that when you move to another state, some people quickly write you out of their lives. You definitely learn very quickly who really cares about you.

8.     I learned that my husband can still surprise me.

9.     I learned if you mix cherry flavored water and gingerale…. It’s really yummy!

10. I learned, that if your daughter is on your bed and you are kneeling at the wrong time by the foot of it, that she can turn over and kick you in the nose so hard it gives you a massive bloody nose.

11. I also learned that if your other daughter tries to run up an escalator the wrong way and falls, it can cut her knee so bad that she needs 5 stitches.

12. I have learned to be more content when life is crazy and things happen out of my control.

13. I have learned that no matter how old my kids get, I will NEVER stop feeling protective of them.

14. I’ve learned that other people find value in what I do (writing.) And that even though I’ve always wanted that, I still find it astonishing when they do.

15. I’ve learned that letting my kids grow up will be one of the hardest things I ever do.

16. I learned that I’m not really a bubble bath kind of girl. I’d rather just get in the shower, do my thing, and get out.

17. I learned that I can be addicted to Iphone games.

18. I’m learning to accept myself more and more each day. And it feels so good.

19. I learned that I adore dark chocolate almonds.

20. I learned that I believe God more this year than I ever have before. He continues to provide, He continues to be faithful, and He continues to love me despite all of my flaws. He is good. He is steadfast.




What is something you have learned in the last year?

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Still Such a Work In Progress


I’ve lived 40+ years on this earth. 40+ years that I am so thankful for.

Some of those years held great pain for my heart. I had to overcome big obstacles, inner demons, and overwhelming odds stacked against me.


Some of those years held magical moments that can’t be touched in human words. Those blessings can only be held tenderly inside of me with a deeply-held appreciation and realization of what God has done.

I’ve learned so many lessons. Felt so much emotion. Been brought to my knees when my pride wouldn’t kneel on its own.

I have loved and lost. Held and let go. Laughed and cried with just as much depth.

It’s my life. My story.  Each page turned has brought a new storyline with it.

Some days I feel so old – others, I still feel like a young babe. I know that I have gained much wisdom through the things I’ve been through and seen. Yet I also know that I still have huge lessons to learn. I still repeat mistakes and I still need to be humbled at times.

It’s true how the Bible tells us we are like clay, molded and shaped in the great potter’s hands. I can see that so clearly. I can see how parts of me have had to be chipped away, how parts of me still have cracks that need to be repaired, and how God is making me more beautiful in His image year by year.

I don’t know if there are parts of me that I will ever be happy to see be torn away from my firmly clenched hands. I don’t think it’s ever easy to see parts of ourselves chiseled and clipped away. Even if we know they hold us back, they are still part of our identity. It’s only after they are gone that we can see how much better off we are without them.

Sometimes I know I may be that stiff piece of clay that just fights being workable in the potter’s hands. I don’t want to conform to His will. I don’t want to be shaped a different way. I have my own visions. My own objective. I see myself in a light that I, myself, find fitting.

And yet after 40+ years of learning, growing, and realizing that I am still so imperfect and flawed, I know that I am still such a work in progress. I may be an adult, but I am far from finished. My story is far from its ending.

There is so much more life to live. To love. To learn.

It’s kind of exciting to think that God is not done with me yet. To know that He still has exciting things in store for me.


I am the clay. He is the potter. He’s gotten me this far – I can surely trust Him further.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Be Inspired






Certain things in life inspire me. I get inspired when I see an older man over the age of 60 cross the finish line at a marathon.

I’m inspired when I see a stranger help another woman and her mom using a cane, navigate an especially slanted and rocky hillside.

I am inspired when I hold a brand new baby and smell that “newness” still all over them.

I feel inspired when a neighbor leaves a Christmas plate of goodies or a small gift on my doorstep.

I’m inspired when I watch a news story about a young child trying to make a difference in their community and they are giving out little bags of bathroom items to those less fortunate.

There IS goodness out there. I see it. I feel it.

So often we get bogged down in the naughtiness of life. We get discouraged, frustrated, and weary. We can feel like the world is so cold and that no one reaches their dream anymore. But they do.

People push themselves all of the time to be better. They give out of what little they have. They love with abandon – even with no return. They enjoy living and they enjoy living with the others that God has put in their circles around them.

It’s all inspiring.

Where do you find your inspiration? Do you have any? Do you need some? I think everyone needs inspiration once in awhile. We all need to be reminded of what is truly important in life. We need something to smile about. Something to cheer for. Something to rejoice in.


It’s out there. It’s all around us - that inspiration. Look for it. And be inspired.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

For The Moments When You Doubt Yourself

I can be a pretty passionate person about right and wrong and my instincts are usually very good.  I trust my ‘gut.’

But there are those times when I listen to others, or something changes in the situation or person a bit, and I think, “What if I’m wrong?”

I doubt myself.

Those are the times when I become my own worst enemy. Instead of fighting the spiritual battle or the true enemy in the picture, I end up fighting within my own heart. And I think that’s exactly why satan whispers words of doubt into my ears. If he can get me to question myself, then I’m less of a threat to him and his tactics. I’m a weaker warrior, if you will.

Sure, I’m not always right. I make mistakes. I judge too quickly or too harshly. I let emotions rule my tongue instead of wisdom. But when I’m truly engaged in a life struggle, challenge, or obstacle, there is something different about my heart and soul. There is an inner turmoil that goes on; telling me that something is ‘off’ or ‘not right.’ It’s something I need to trust.

I believe that God is in my heart. I believe that I’m following and obeying Him as much as I can in my daily walk. So when these moments and times come, I can trust that that inner feeling is Him guiding me.  That turmoil I’m feeling is a prick in my spirit that disrupts the peace that comes with God’s blessing on the circumstances or situation.

I need to remind myself of this when I start questioning my own judgment. When I start to doubt whether or not I know what I’m feeling, or what is right – I need to be reminded that God is inside of me guarding and guiding.

I know that I can’t assume that every thought or opinion I have will be the correct one. But if I go on my knees in prayer and seek God’s will in my life – then I can truly trust the words that He sends across my heart. And you can too.

Don’t doubt yourself if something inside of you is nagging on you and an inner voice keeps prompting you about a person, decision, or situation. Listen to it. Listen to HIM. Keep asking Him for clarity and wisdom and He’ll help you break through that fog to find a clear direction and voice because He’s right there with you. He’s right there with me. Walking alongside of us, speaking to us right where we are.


We can trust in that.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

I Prayed For You Today




I prayed for you today. You were on my mind.

I thought of those of you who feel like you don’t fit in anywhere. Those of you who feel like you need to join a hostile group, or act out on your own, because of the hurt and anger you feel inside.

I prayed for you.

I prayed and thought of those of you who are facing each day without your loved one for the first time in your life. I understand that the holidays were probably tough.

I prayed for those of you who are frustrated in your marriage and not understanding the ways of your spouse. And for those of you who are trying so hard to do what is right – yet feeling like it just doesn’t pay off. I know it’s frustrating.

I said a prayer for those of you who have just lost a baby, a parent, or a dream. I know that you are out there.

I know your hurts are real.

I prayed for you; the one who everyone thinks has it all together – but inside you are hiding hidden pain. Hidden hurts. Oh how I wish you didn’t have to hide them!

There are so many needs out there. I see it. I feel it. And I care.


So I prayed for you today.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Fighting To Be Treated Right

Sometimes it feels like you just have to fight for everything in your life. You have to fight to be treated right.

For example, when we moved into a house rental upon moving to Texas, we noted everything wrong on our walk-in sheet. Then when it was time to get our return deposit check, we noticed we were deducted a huge chunk of change to fix the very things we’d noted were already there when we first moved in. Damage not caused by us. So we had to stand up for ourselves to try and get the money we were due.

That’s just one example of a long list of things that it feels like our family has had to fight for in recent years.

We’ve had to fight to be treated right.

It would be so easy to give up. It’s so easy to get discouraged. Sometimes the ‘fight’ is draining. It’s stressful and it takes a lot out of you. You don’t even always win. Sometimes you’re treated unfairly and you just have to swallow and move on. But it can be hard.

I think sometimes the world expects us to give up. It at least hopes we will. It can be easy to take advantage of people. Bully them. Walk right over them to put yourself and your needs first.

But sometimes we need to engage in the fight. We need to remind Satan (and the world) that we are warriors and that even though we get discouraged and tired, we have fight in us. We have fight in us especially when it’s something worthwhile that we are fighting for.

Life IS a battle. You win some and you lose some. You get beat up along the way. But to walk away doesn’t mean you win. It simply means you chose to give up before you even tried to fight for what you felt was right.

I do get tired of feeling like we have to fight to be treated fairly in this life. I do get tired of feeling like we’ve been taken advantage of. But I believe in who I am enough to know that sometimes you just have to stand up, use your voice, and say “this isn’t right.”

If you feel like you are in a ‘fight’ for justice right now for yourself or someone you love, hang in there. Maintain your integrity in the process and have faith that whatever the outcome, you are doing the right thing in addressing the issue.


Don’t give those war-wagers an inch more of your heart and life than they’ve already taken.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Sometimes We Need To Be Stirred


We don’t always get what we want in life.  But maybe, we do get what we need…..



Sometimes, maybe we go through chaos for awhile in life, so that we can be stirred from having complacency in the calm of it.

I can see how whirlwinds of challenges swirled around me at certain times in life. I don’t think they happened because I was doing necessarily anything wrong before they arrived, but that maybe my heart needed to be stirred. Maybe I needed to understand and empathize with others more – after going through certain struggles. Maybe I needed to develop and grow more spiritually. Maybe I needed some humbling.

Each situation has been different. Each one – so very personal.

God says that we will be sifted like wheat. We can’t expect a loving Father to leave us alone in our pride, our lukewarm living, or our ignorance. He has plans for each one of us. He sees who we can be.

So, sometimes, we need to be stirred up a little.

Or a lot.

I dread going through these seasons. I should count it a joy that my Lord loves me that much. That He loves me so much that He can’t let me go down a path that isn’t full of Him or full of all that He can show me.  But, I’m human. And I dread the personal hurts that come with these times. I hate the stretching done on my character, and I feel so beat up at times, wondering if my own stamina can last.

And yet – I like who I am more this year, than last year. I love who I’m becoming more, as I grow. And that’s not because of anything I’ve done. It’s because of what I’ve gone through in life. It’s because of the stirring in my heart, soul, and circumstances. It’s because of tilting my head up and lending an ear to what God might be trying to say to me.

So – in the midst of the stirring – it’s never fun. But the feeling of BEING stirred and knowing your are more aware, more beautiful, and more complete because of it?


Priceless.

Monday, December 29, 2014

But.... Have You Tried?




We are great dream killers. We have this innate ability to shoot down anything that isn’t easy or expected. Not just for others…but also for ourselves. Maybe, especially for ourselves!

When we were little, we were told we could be anything we wanted. Our eyes sparkled as we tilted our heads to the sky and dreamt of going to the moon and back.  We felt special, believed we were special, and knew that one day, the whole world would know that as well.

It didn’t quite work out that way.  We started listening to all the voices around us. Some would laugh at us when we shared our deepest heart’s longings for the “impossible.” Others simply scoffed.  We got busy. Practical. We fell in love.

Somehow – the years ticked by in double time.  We looked up at that same beautiful blue sky and wondered how we’d aged so quickly without doing what we really intended on doing.

We start doing what we are so good at. Talking to ourselves. Except the voice that we should cherish the most (our own) often does the most damage.

“You can’t.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“You don’t have the money.”

“You have responsibilities.”

“You don’t know how.”

“It’s a long shot.”

“Not that many people achieve that status.”

“You’re too old.”

And more. MANY more.

Friend, will you quiet those voices for a minute to listen to mine?  Listen closely.

“Have you even tried?”

“Have you…..TRIED?”

Why not, try?

Yes. It may be hard. It may be unrealistic. It may take many years. You may be old. You may have to sacrifice to pay your way.  But it’s your dream right?  And who gave you that dream? Did it die? Or did it stay tucked inside of you all of these years?

There’s a reason some dreams die and others don’t. I like to label it “our calling.” You can call it fate, if you want. But we were meant to do some things. Live out some things.

And the point really isn’t even if you get there. It’s only that you try. So you will know.


Try. TRY. Just try.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

When The Call On Your Life Is Great, So Is the Attack



I am so blessed with my children. I couldn’t have dreamed of having more precious people in my life. They have brought me such great, unspeakable joy. They have stretched me and they have given me a drive to protect them, that I didn’t know could exist.

They have completely changed me.

I look back on my life and on the life of my children (who are no longer little), and I see the challenges and battles that have come into our lives along the way. I’ve seen the unfair turn of events, the random battles we waged, and the deep hurts we’ve struggled through.

I believe God has a calling for my life. And I also believe He has a calling in the lives of each one of my children. The realization of this, can’t exclude the fact that this is the exact reason we have gone through some of the attacks, hurts, and battles in our lives, that we have.  Satan doesn’t want us to fulfill that calling.

I see things in each one of my children that maybe they don’t quite yet see in themselves. I see the potential that is still not fully developed. I see the beauty in their hearts. I see and I know who they are. Just as my God knows me. 

Each spot of tenderness, each soft spot in their life that has a gifting, God wants to develop that to impact as many in His name as possible. Yet it is those exact spots in their hearts and lives that seem to be discouraged and hurt time and again. Because – again – satan does not want us to develop them. He doesn’t want us to grow. To gain strength and courage. He doesn’t want us to realize what we’ve been given.

But I see it. And I will fight for it.  I will protect, to the best of my human abilities, the specialness and uniqueness that God has given each one of my kids. I will pray over them, I will encourage them, and I will fight hard when they don’t realize they need to fight for themselves.


Because I am a mother. Because I love them. And because it’s part of my calling.

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