Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Sometimes I Don't Feel Equipped

As a parent, a wife, and an adult – I feel like I should know answers in life. I should know how to handle dilemmas, problems, challenges, and hurdles.

But I don’t always.

I have instincts, I have intuition, I have some experience in things – but it doesn’t cover all of what life plans to throw at me.

Sometimes… I just don’t feel equipped.

I don’t feel equipped to navigate the circumstances that my children have to go through.

I don’t always feel equipped enough, to know what to do with life’s hurts.

I don’t feel equipped to deal with relationship issues that no one will seem to win at.

I don’t feel capable. I don’t feel knowledgeable enough. I don’t feel like I am the right person for the job that is placed in front of me.

But the thing is – as ill-equipped as I feel at times? I know my God is MORE than equipped. He is able to handle it all.

When I don’t know how to help my children, God knows. 

When I don’t know what the right thing to say is, God knows.

When I don’t know where to funnel my emotions after a deep wound, God knows.

He knows it all.

And I am here – His vessel. Ready to be used. Ready to be molded. Ready to grow.

Because I don’t want to keep facing life’s challenges feeling like I can’t do it. I don’t want to feel unsteady. I want to feel equipped – not in my own strength. But in HIS. I want to feel His lifeblood course through my veins knowing I can trust it all into His hands.

And be at peace.

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