Everything You Do, Says Something About Who You Are

Everything I do, says something about who I am.

When I play a game, I can’t just cheat and then say, “it was just a game.” No – how I play that game says a lot about my character and values.

The same is true for my work ethic on the job, my honesty with money, how I treat others while I’m driving – and even, how often I go to church, or in what condition I leave my table in, at a restaurant.

EVERYTHING, that you and I do – reflects on who we are, what we believe about others, and about ourselves.

We may think a lot of the things we do, don’t matter in the grander scheme of things in life. We may think no one is watching, or that someone else deserves our reaction, or attitude. But the thing is – it’s not about THEM. It’s about US.

Who I am, matters to me. It matters to my spouse. It matters to my kids and my friends. And it matters to my Lord.

Companies are now checking into social media accounts like twitter and facebook to see how someone carries themselves. Drunk photos? Swearing in your statuses? Badmouthing someone else? You may not get the job. Because WHO YOU ARE MATTERS.

We never just represent ourselves. We always represent someone else, as well as ourselves. Our parents. Our faith. Our employer. Our church. Our city.

We matter.  We matter because we are valuable.  We are worth something.  Shouldn’t we start acting like it? Shouldn’t we start BELIEVING it?

Dress – like you matter.

Carry yourself – like you matter.

Speak – like you matter.

For everything you do, and everything you are, matters.  Whether you feel forgotten, overlooked, or ignored – you matter.

Start believing it. Start acting like it. And start feeling it.

We Say We Believe

The mouth. It’s one of the most powerful weapons we have. What we say, how we say it… it can wound someone else for the rest of their life.

We say we believe in God.

We say we love God.

We go to church and we sing praise songs with our hands in the air.

And then we turn around and wound someone in our own family with our words. We don’t even look back. We don’t even regret. We just lash out with little thought to the damage our words cause.

We get too “me-focused.”

THEY should have known better. THEY needed to hear that. THEY should get over it. THEY, THEY, THEY.  With little to no responsibility taken on our own shoulders.

But…we DO believe, we rationalize.

How can we say we believe in a God, that we don’t try to be like? 

Our belief needs to go deeper. Further.

When we believe in something, or someone – it should come out in how we speak and act. So that belief should play itself out in how we treat others.

It can be so easy to treat strangers better than we treat our own family, at times. After all, a family member can’t walk out on us. (In theory). A family member is stuck with us for life. And we are comfortable to truly speak our minds with them. But – it is our family members who should get our deepest love and loyalty. For they ALSO see us at our worst. They see every flaw – not just the good face we put on for others. And they still love us. Still accept us. Still BELIEVE in us.

Yes, that’s what belief does. That’s what God does for us. And if we say we believe in Him, it’s what we should also do for others. Not just strangers, but our siblings, our parents, our friends.

Treasure their hearts. Treat them with care. Speak in love. Show them they matter to us. Because HE matters to us.

An Empty Well Cannot Continue To Give Water

“Step outside of your comfort zone.”

“Be generous.”

“Be involved.”

“Don’t be selfish with your money or time.”

“Think of others before yourself.”

All words we’ve heard. All important words TO hear. It’s important to realize where our lives may be out of balance, and where we may have lost some priorities along the way.  It’s good to sift ourselves and put things into focus from time to time.

These words can do that.

BUT – there are moments and times, where these words can also wear you down. These words – if not used in a balanced way – can cause us to neglect taking care of our own emotional and physical well-being.

I’ve seen it happen. I’ve HAD it happen.

An empty well cannot continue to give water. Nor can a person who gives so much that they start to wear down themselves in the process.

We NEED rest. We NEED time to ourselves. We NEED money to pay our own bills and provide for our own families. We NEED to feel safe in our own comfort zones.

None of these things is bad. They are the very things that help us stay whole and healthy. They help us feel confident.  It’s just that from time to time, we need to stretch our horizons a bit.

We can’t JUST focus on ourselves. And we can’t JUST focus on others and forget ourselves. Neither is good. Neither is healthy.

So if you’re one of those people who gives of themselves until the point of exhaustion….. ease up a bit. Allow yourself the freedom to tell someone “no” and be guilt-free about it. Tend to your own emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Then, when you are on more solid ground, dip your toes in the water of being stretched again.

This world needs us. But it needs healthy, confidant, grounded, stable, and HAPPY us! Keep that in the mind the next time you hear someone tell you to go outside of your comfort zone.

Not Enough of Me, To Go Around

Some days it just seems like there’s not enough of “me” to go around.

I love to love on others. I try to always give my best and BE my best. But there are just some seasons where I feel like I’m always letting someone down. I feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do, be who I want to be, love on who I want to love on.

And I hate that.

I hate feeling like I need to have two of “me.” I hate feeling behind on things. And if I don’t feel behind on things, I feel behind on taking care of myself and my own emotions and needs.

I’m learning, though. I’m learning that there will never be enough of me to go around. I’m learning that I WILL always disappoint someone – and sometimes, that someone will be ME. Sometimes it will be important to put someone else’s needs and soul ahead of my own. But I need to be aware and recognize, when it’s time to tend to myself. For I can’t give anyone anything, if I’m not giving myself some love too.

I still get a little stressed in these seasons. I want there to be enough of me to go around. But most of the time, I’m learning to make peace with it. I do what I can do. Give what I can give. And be the best me that I can be. Even if that’s not enough for others.

It’s the best I can do. The best I can be. And that has to be enough.

When We Give In

I can be a very stubborn person. I don’t like to “give in” if I feel very strongly about my stance, view, or position on something. But over time, I’ve been learning a few very important lessons about “giving in.”

“Giving In” doesn’t necessarily mean I was wrong and the other person was right. Sometimes, it means that I value the relationship more than I value my position of having to feel and “be” right.  It may mean I’m choosing to pick my battles and this particular one wasn’t as hefty as I know some others might be. But it doesn’t mean I was wrong.

“Giving In” doesn’t mean that I’m weak. Like I said, I can be stubborn. I can hold onto my pride if I feel I might be embarrassed, humiliated, or look foolish.  So at times, “giving in” can be the last thing I want to do. But sometimes you have to “give in” for the sake of sanity. For the sake of your emotional and physical well-being. For the sake of relationships.  You have to choose your priorities. I need to realize that I can swallow my pride more easily, than I can repair a broken relationship. I’m learning, that it takes greater strength to “give in,” at times, than it does to hold my ground. Holding our ground can be easy; but to make a choice we wouldn’t prefer or would rather not do? That takes greater strength. And greater love.

“Giving In’ doesn’t mean I’m giving up.  It means I value something greater.  Of course not every situation should demand that I “give up.” If something is morally or legally wrong, I should always stand firm in what I value and believe. If someone could be in danger? Never “give in” to hiding it.  But normally, life asks me to “give in” on a smaller scale. Those issues may be very important to me, but are not life-altering for someone.

We dig our feet in so many times, in life. We can be selfish and stubborn in the quest for someone to simply acknowledge “we were right.” But in the end, “rightness” doesn’t always win. Sometimes you have to let something go, for the ability to simply be able, to move on in life. To get past it and to grow.

You can still be strong. You can still be compassionate. You can still be “right.” But by “giving in,” you can now, also, move forward. And sometimes, that is what is needed the most.

It's Not ALL About You... But Sometimes a Little Bit About You

“It’s not about you.” We hear that so often. And it’s true.  We shouldn’t be “me” focused, in this life. Those who give to others, love on others, and focus on bettering other people’s lives and making a lasting impact for good… they are happier.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t need anything. It doesn’t mean we are content to be ignored.

For everyone needs love.  And everyone needs to feel valued.

Everyone craves touch.  An encouraging word.  Someone to notice them.

Some of us may not need it as much as others; but we all need it.

We need each other.

So, although it’s important to not get caught up in our own crisis, problems, and our own little world – it’s also important to have a support system, people we can talk to, and those who will invest in us.

No one should go through life all alone.

We can thrive on giving and loving; but an empty well still needs to get filled up from time to time. And we can empty ourselves into others so much, that we don’t notice when we start feeling dry, until we’re already there.  And as good as we can be at listening to positive speeches, reading motivating words, or relaxing… we still need others to recharge us and invest into our lives.  We need to know that we matter!

So, if you are a giver – good for you. I bet you have a content heart and life. But allow others to give to YOU once in awhile.  If only for your soul. 

We all need to feel loved in addition to loving on others. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be encouraged.  Make changes in your life, if needed, to make sure that you get that emotional connection that your heart craves from time to time.

You may be surprised. Sometimes we think everyone already has all the friends they need in their lives. But, most people always have room in their lives to love and be loved on by a new friend. Invite them in.  Open your heart.

And get that well filled up.

It’s NOT all about you. But sometimes, it’s a little bit about you.

We NEED Better

We need to DO better.

We need to be better friends. Better parents. Better fighters, for what is moral and right.

We should speak up more. Speak up less. Be wiser. More understanding.

We need to be more discerning. Gentler. More compassionate.

We need to be THERE for one another. Not just in words, but in presence.

We need to strive for excellence in all we do. Go the extra mile. Persevere. Run to win the race in whatever we undertake in life.

We need to think of ourselves less, yet take care of our emotions and feelings, more.

We need to BE better.

We need to have more patience. Slow down. Laugh more.

We need to forgive more readily. Love more freely.

We need to stop taking everything so personally. Let things go. Move on.

We need to yell when things are unfair, and cheer when things are good.

We need to KNOW what is better.

Life is flying by. Slipping through our grasp. People are hurting, dying, and feeling alone. We sooo need to love better.

I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to know what’s better, and love better.

Do you?

When You Feel Like You Are Doing the “Loving,” More Than the “Being Loved”

Man, I hate disappointment. I hate it when someone lets me down. I know it will happen from time to time in life, but I still hate it when it’s my turn, or my families’ turn to experience it.

Heartache.  No fun any way you look at it.

Relationships are tricky. Emotions – overwhelming. They sneak up on you at times, and take over.

You can think something wouldn’t bother you – but then it does.

You can think you’d be brave in a certain situation, but then you’re not.

It’s the intricacies of loving and being loved.  Sometimes we feel like we are doing more of the loving, than of the “being loved.”

And boy, does it stink.

I wish I could tell you there is a way around it. I wish that I had some magical words to help you take these moments with stride.

I don’t.

For I haven’t been able to figure out how to take them in stride, myself. Not for me – and certainly not as a wife and mama; when I see my family members disappointed by others.

What I do know, is that sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some. Sometimes others bless us, and sometimes they neglect us. It’s a “spin the wheel” kind of thing. And you never know just who it will land on. The more you care for someone, the more it hurts when they are the ones who disappoint.

It can be easy for me to want to bail on someone when they disappoint me. I want to say, “I’m done.” For if they so obviously don’t care as much as I do, why invest the time? And I do believe healthy boundaries should be set in relationships so you don’t set yourself up to be hurt over and over and over again. So you don’t set yourself up to be used.

But, I also believe – no, I KNOW, that I have disappointed others. And I didn’t mean to.  I would never intentionally hurt someone else. So, maybe, I need to give others the same grace that I would like extended to me when I disappoint.

Grace.  And mercy.

I would still like to enjoy “being loved” as much as I enjoy “loving.” I would still like to be blessed, instead of neglected. But I know I can’t go through life accepting one, without the other. That’s not how it works.

So, I continue to love. And I continue to get hurt.

And I continue to live. 


That's the price of love.

Character Matters More Than Arithmetic

I’m lucky. My kiddos have always been pretty good at learning. They were good kids as well. Their teachers (most of them,) loved them. They stood out.

My kids stood out in class, not just because they did good on their work, but, because they were exceptional people.

I didn’t have to motivate my girls much when it came to their schoolwork. They were usually harder on themselves than I ever could be, on them. They expected a lot out of themselves. Especially my youngest. In fact, we had to encourage her to lighten up at times, because she would stress herself out, and forget, that these are the years to have fun!

One thing I always told my kids – was that as long as they tried to do their best, that was all I expected or wanted from them. I would be happy if they got a “C” in class, and they worked really, really hard for it. It didn’t have to be an “A” if they found things challenging for them. For I realize that not everyone is good at every subject. I can never wrap my brain around math, for example! So I knew my children would be stronger in some classes, and weaker in others.

What mattered the most to me, as their mom, was their character. And that is what I told them.

I’m not here to raise doctors, lawyers, scientists, or presidents. If my children become those things – then great. But I will be proud of them not because of their occupation, but because of who they are as human beings. I want them to have good characters, values, and morals – whether they are a mailman, a construction worker, a dog walker, or an engineer.

Kindness matters to me. Gentleness. Forgiveness. Compassion and understanding. Empathy. Integrity. These are the things that matter in life. In relationships.

I’m thankful my kids have learned how to read and write. I’m glad that they know how to add. But education is only important to me as far as that it takes my children to where they can be beneficial and happy in life doing what they love. The rest – I can leave it.  It’s character that matters. Character that counts. And character that will impact everyone in life.

Whether or not you find it valuable.

There Will Always Be Someone Who Doesn't Understand You

Can you live with it if you’re never understood?  That thought occurred to me one day when I was “rationalizing” in my head how someone was never going to understand what I’m all about or what I do.

And I wish they did. But, I’ve come to accept that they may never appreciate who I really am. They may never completely understand who I am as a person, or what I do for my family, or for others.

I’ve come a long way.

There were times in life where I’d fret and toil in my heart and head over the fact that someone didn’t “get” me. Now, I understand that there will always be someone in life who DOESN’T “get” me. There will always be someone who doesn’t like me. Someone who misunderstands what I’m about.

I will be misjudged.

I don’t like it. I don’t want it. But I’m making peace with it.

I’m making peace with the fact that some people will never understand my heart and soul because I’m learning to accept myself more. I’m learning to have more peace with who I am, and I’m learning to place more value in what God thinks of me, than the world.

It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I don’t have wishes of understanding or acceptance. It simply means I’ve decided not to prioritize those thoughts in my head. I don’t want to give them space where they can tamper with something good and valuable that I’m doing (and being).

I am who God has made me to be. And I’m trying to be the best ‘me’ that there can be. That has to be enough. It has to carry me through the times when others think less of me than I’d want or prefer.

Some people may never appreciate you. They may never truly understand who you are. They may never “get” your heart. That doesn’t mean their assessment of you is right. It simply means they don’t understand. But I promise you, there WILL be people who DO understand you and DO get your heart , for God always tries to encourage our hearts when we’re doing our best to stay the course in life.

Friend, you and I will both be misjudged at times. Many more times, probably. And I’m sorry for you, for those times. But I pray that you can accept who you are enough to carry you through those frustrating moments. For you are valuable, and valued for the unique and special person that you are.

Just “be” the best “you” that you can be. Find peace in that.  I have.

To The Parent Who Wants To Hold On

When my kids were young, I never wanted to go on a trip alone with my husband because I wanted to be there to protect my little ones. When they got to be in high school, I didn’t want to go on a trip alone with my husband, because I knew time was short, and they’d be out the door before I knew it.

When my daughter was home, I’d complain to her about all the glasses she left around the kitchen. But when she was away for the first time at Christmas, all I could think, was that I wished she was home to leave those glasses around again.

This parenting thing. It’s not for the faint of heart.

You cry when they first go off to kindergarten, you cry when they first drive away with their brand new license, and you cry when they leave home.

You want to hold on. At least I do.

But you can’t. The tighter you hold on, the more they want to fly away  - never to return. So you have to swallow hard, and open the door.

It’s the hardest thing you’ll probably ever do.

But it’s a gift. We were created to do this. To hand life over to the next generation. To let part of ourselves live on in a new and exciting way. To watch our love take hold as lessons are learned in life and hopefully, our children return to the fold – nearby in some part, or merely in heart and soul.

So you let them go. And you let part of yourself go. But in the process, you learn that there is more to yourself than these beings that have taken up all of your heart and then some for 18+ years. You learn that life goes on. You learn how to think of yourself again. You become stronger.

No one will ever take those places in our heart that belong to our children. Those are precious spots that will always remain dedicated to them alone. But our hearts can grow bigger. They can learn to love on others who have empty spots inside that aren’t filled like ours are.

Part of you will always hold onto those days and moments with the best gifts God ever gave you. And that’s okay.

You are brave, dear mom and dad. You have loved deeper, wider, and further than you ever thought possible. You have invested your time, your thoughts, and your heart into making someone else’s life better. And now’s the time to see the return on your investment. So smile. Watch them go. Watch them dream, hope, learn, and grow. It’s scary. I know. But trust in the One who gave them to you. The One who loves them even more than you do. He won’t let you down. He won’t let THEM down.

It will be worth it. He will be faithful.

Sometimes You Just Have to Take a "Time-Out" From Life

Sometimes you just have to take a ‘time-out’ from life. 

I’ve been on ‘overload’ for awhile now. Getting my daughter ready to graduate from high school in June, working a part time job, planning a wedding for this Fall… and then just adding in the normal to-do’s of life.

But nobody has been telling me that I have to do it all. I’VE been the one telling ME that I have to do it all.

And I don’t. I can’t.

So, for my own well-being, I decided to say ‘no’ to some of life’s requests.

I didn’t go to this last session of Bible Study.

I told myself “no” to going to some blogger events that have come up in the last couple of months.

I’ve forced myself to relax some days – even though there was laundry and other chores to be done.

It has helped soo much! Lightening my load a little bit helped me focus on what truly was a priority and it has helped me start to get the rest that my body has been craving.

Life doesn’t stop altogether. But, you can quit for awhile on the things that don’t matter quite as much.

Sometimes you just have to say ‘no’ to the chores, and watch a movie. Put something aside and play a family game, or go on a walk.

It’s needed. For sanity. For clarity. For refreshment.

There will always be a list of things that need to get done. There will always be someone who wants something from us. But we are merely human. Our energy is not limitless. 

We need breaks. Time-outs. Time to be alone. Time to rest.

I feel strongly about following through on commitments and keeping your word. But there are times in life, where it might just matter a little bit more to focus on staying in tune with your own heart and soul. And to do that, you have to have to be given the time to hear them.

You are the only you that ever will be. So don’t forget to take care of that YOU that can get worn out once in awhile.

Take just a brief ‘time-out’ once in awhile.  Make yourself the focus and priority – so that you can fully be in the moment of your commitments – giving others the priority they deserve, as well.

Instead of "Big," Go "Small!"

Life is like a whirlwind sometimes. It feels like you’re on this ride and you just can’t jump off. You can’t “stop” things long enough to pause, and reflect. At least – that’s how it feels, sometimes.

I know the ‘season’ of “fast.” The season that shouts at me to keep up. These are the seasons that overwhelm me. Everything seems to be needed “now.” And I try to shout back, “I’m only one person!” I don’t feel like I can possibly do it all, be it all, plus enjoy it in the process.

I’ve learned over the years what overwhelms me. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s the “Big” that overwhelms me. When I have to come up with that HUGE dinner for a large group, or I have to get 20 gifts for the holiday. “Big.”

I’ve learned though – that I can handle these situations, if I divide them up into smaller chunks of demands. “Small” is doable for me.  If I can get 2 gifts done this week instead of focusing on the 20 I need overall, it’s more manageable. If I have part of a meal pre-made, then there is less to prepare for.

Doable.

Life IS demanding. It asks a lot of us. And on our own, we each ARE only one individual person. We can only do so much on our own.  But sometimes we forget that we don’t have to do it all. We don’t have to always go for “big” and “grand.” Sometimes an easy and quick meal means just as much, because people are together making a memory – and that’s what really matters.  Sometimes we try to outdo ourselves in order to create lavish memories. But it’s not the decorations that people need to remember. It’s the love, the kindness, the time spent together that is important.

We rush about enough as it is. If we can slow down and enjoy what we are doing, how much more meaningful life will be for not just us, but those around us.

It doesn’t have to be “big.” It doesn’t have to be over-the-top gorgeous. We don’t have to spend all our money. We can do simple. Easy. “Small.” And still pay attention to details, preferences, and the heart of those we love.

Love doesn’t have a pricetag. Or a size.

Ask any mom if she prefers store-bought flowers over a handmade card from her kids filled with words of love. And she’ll tell you.

So when the world says – “GO BIG!” Instead, go “small.” And see which one is the real winner.

I Did My Best

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a very good parent. I try. I try SO HARD. I try to be intentional in the lessons I’ve taught my kids over the years. I try to be intentional in the generosity, the “I’m sorry’s,” the importance of church and moral influences, and in the joy, peace, and ‘rightness’ that comes with having faith in God.

I’ve tried to be fun. I’ve tried to be a good listener. I’ve tried to give my kids space when they needed it – yet let them know I’m always available, and there for them.

And yet, I know I’ve failed miserably on so many occasions at so many things. I’ve yelled and lost my cool. I’ve shared something with a friend or family member when I should have tucked their privacy inside of my heart and kept it safe there. I’ve embarrassed my kids. Said the wrong thing. Been too clingy. Been too harsh. Been too emotional. Not listened enough when they were trying to share. Hurt their feelings.

So I’ve tried. And I’ve failed.

But I’ve also tried, and succeeded. At times.

Only God knows if all my prayers on bended knee or in my children’s rooms will come to fruition.

Only time will tell if my kids can see beyond those mistakes and mess-ups, to the heart that beat only for them for so many years.

I so wish I could have gotten it all right. I wish I could have known the exact times when I needed to speak up, and when I needed to be quiet.

But I did my best.

I tried to soak it all in, for I knew the years would fly by. And fly by, they have.

I tried to navigate it all. Every curve in life, every heartbreak, and every change. I tried to let my kids be who God created them to be and let them make their own mistakes. Oh, how hard it’s been to do that on certain days!

But I did my best.

I put myself out there. Every day. To be judged, criticized, assessed, and rejected.

And yet I hoped, as all moms do. That the seasons and phases of life would change, and those same judgments and assessments would one day be seen in a different light. With a different heart.

For I always gave my best. I did my best. And I loved the best way I knew how. With every inch of my being.

Flawed or not, wrong-timing or not -  it was all of me. All of my heart and soul.

All of my best.

My kids deserved nothing less.

There Will Always Be Critics

There are moments in life where we all feel like we just can’t seem to please anyone. It’s as if we are blasted from every side no matter what decision we make. 

We’ve all been there.

Those moments in time, hopefully, have taught me a thing or two.  The biggest thing I think I’ve learned from those “you can’t please anyone” moments are, that there will always be critics in your life.  If you achieve something you’ve worked hard for, there will be those who are jealous and feel like you are “lucky” or you don’t understand what being in their shoes is like. There are others who will deem you lazy or who think you lack perseverance, if you never achieve what you aim for.

It’s that way with almost everything in life.  There are those who won’t cheer you on no matter what you do. They may be jealous. They may be hurting inside and can’t come to a point where they can enjoy seeing you happy. They may be lonely. They may simply not understand.

Critics can hurt. Words do hurt and actions do hurt. So when someone criticizes you for something you’ve done, it’s normal to feel the sting of it. The thing is, we can’t let the sting stay with us for very long.

It has to be enough for us, that we know inside of our hearts that we are on the right path in our life. We have to know that we’ve prayed, sought God’s guidance, used the best wisdom, discernment, generosity (whatever the situation calls for) – that we can. We have to know that we are right with God. And that has to be enough for us. For the critics will shout, they will point, and they will glare at us no matter what.

Don’t let them win. Don’t let them steal your joy or your passion. Pray for them and then take their condemning voices out of your head.

God said we would be persecuted. It’s a given. So when the critics are aimed in your direction, just know that it’s a part of living the Christian life and walking the Christian walk. Stay humble, stay kind, and let God deal with the rest.

The Ordinary - Can Become The Treasured

Sometimes in the routine and hustle of life, we can miss the ordinary, common moments that will be so special in our hearts and minds for years to come.

My daughter was singing in the bathroom recently, before school, and I thought about how I’m going to miss hearing that singing in the mornings the day when she leaves home.  It’s something I’ve enjoyed for years, but never gave a lot of thought to how something so regular, would become something so treasured, down the line.

I can honestly say that I think I will feel the same way about my other daughter’s messy room. It already makes me smile instead of scowl, like it used to. She is my “creative–messy,” - that one. I know one day, that room will be spotless…. And empty. And I will miss her mess.

Life. It’s what we make of it.  What may seem ordinary, routine, or even an inconvenience at times, can end up becoming something that makes us smile.  For there really is no boring and ordinary life. Life is all a gift. An intricate gift; complex at times, but unique, special, and worth celebrating all the same.

Photography often shows us this special way of looking at something that might otherwise seem mundane. A stunning soft-focused shot through leveler blinds on the window. A pet sleeping on the couch. A steaming cup of hot soup. Dirt-riddled hands and feet on a toddler that has enjoyed play in the out-of-doors.   

Moments. You can almost smell and taste them.

ALL of life is special. All of life is a gift.

Please don’t ever take it for granted. Not the slow moments, the quiet ones, or the ones filled with noise and hustle-and-bustle. It all carries with it, its’ own beauty.

Beauty of life.

Remember, Often

I like to remember things in my past – often. I like to play them over in my head and in my heart. Not because they were more meaningful than my today, but because they helped form, shape, and mold, MY today. They helped form and shape ME!

I continue to move on in life. Hopefully grow and better myself along the way. But I take the memories of yesterday along with me. I unpack them from time to time, to remind myself of several things.

1.     I choose to remember, often, what my God has done for me. He is SO faithful. He has answered so many prayer requests. Loved me through so many challenges and mistakes. Given me strength when I felt so weak and given me peace when I felt in turmoil. He has walked with me, and before me. And I choose to remember, to remind myself to have faith in my today. To know that the same God who was faithful to me yesterday and years ago, will be faithful in my today, as well.

2.     I choose to remember, often, of the love I share with my husband. To remind myself of the man I first fell in love with. The man who thought I was worth fighting for. I like to remember those sparkly, magical feelings of being “in love,” to insert into the ‘many-years-gone-by-familiar-commitment-and-love’ days. When routine and business discussions are common, I choose to remember different days, and moments that I know will come again. They give me hope. They renew my love. They invigorate my commitment.

3.     I choose to remember, often, those special moments in life that made a dent in my heart and soul. These times truly crafted the person and woman I am today. Whether it was the death of a beloved, a priceless moment with my children, or some other monumental moment – I choose to remember the blessings of life. The gifts that I’ve been given. Even through the hard and bad times, these moments are forever etched within me. It would be foolish to forget them – to never learn and grow from them.

4.     I choose to remember, often, with physical reminders and mementos. Material things have their place, but they wrap my home in legacy. Whether it’s pictures, souvenirs from trips, or special gifts given in love – I choose to remember by hanging onto them and keeping them where I can see them often.

Life is a gift. ALL of life. The good and the bad. I think it’s important to remember it, often. As you get older, there is more of life to remember. It’s ok to revisit it. Laugh again, cry again, and ponder.

Let those yesterdays do the work in you that they were meant to do.

Remember, often. And let those memories complete the picture of who you are, WHY you are, where you come from, and what you’re going to do with what you’ve been given.

Our memories are personal. And they are there to be enjoyed. You only get one life. Remember it well.

Stopping Emotions From Becoming Tornadoes

A woman’s emotions. Those emotions that fuel our decisions, choices, and attitudes on any given day.

Those same emotions don’t just affect the choices we make, but they affect our whole family.

Storms and tirades of anger spewed out – radiate throughout our home and land on our precious loved children at times.  Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, depression, or discouragement rake through as well.

It can be so hard to contain those feelings… those emotions that surge through us.

I don’t know about you, but I feel horrible anytime I look at the aftermath of a ‘lost’ emotion going astray and having its way on my kids or my spouse. But “after” is always too late to do something about it. If only I could have controlled myself in the process!

How can we keep our attitudes in check? How can we spare our families’ the pain of being in our warpath, at the wrong time or place?

There are many ways you can motivate and inspire yourself. There are things you CAN do to set boundaries up ahead of time, to keep you on a more ‘level’ path, so that you don’t explode.

~ You can put inspirational quotes, thoughts, or scripture verses up and around the house where you see them. If anger is an issue, put a verse near your kitchen sink or bathroom mirror that speaks specifically on holding the tongue. Find verses or quotes that speak specifically to the emotion you are struggling with. (Hobby Lobby has great quotes on metal that you can purchase for $10 or less and place in your home as encouragement).

~ Have your family members or good friends gently give you a signal when they sense you are getting a little edgy. Maybe “dad” needs to step in and take over for you at bedtime with the kiddos. Maybe it’s a hug given for no reason – but bring them in on things and allow them to step through the process with you.

~ Pray! Pray together with your husband. With your kids. Pray on your knees, or while you shower or wash the dishes. Pray. Pray often.

~Join a Bible Study or small group. Sometimes having a ‘commitment’ that forces you to have some quiet time, or an outlet to share your feelings is truly all that is needed. It’s like letting that boiling steam out of the kettle. It’s an outlet.

~ Get more rest. Set your alarm while the kids are at school and take a short nap. Go to bed early, if possible, or sleep in later on the weekend while your spouse tends to the morning routine. Rest is vital in maintaining focus.

~ Go on a walk. Go with your spouse, or take your whole family. The little ones can ride in the stroller and bigger ones can walk or take their bikes. But there is something about being out in the fresh air, while exercising, that breathes much needed calmness into the brain.

Whatever tactic you use to guide you and to help you balance your emotions – let it be something that encourages you and inspires you as you learn to change your emotional habits.

Being a mom is grueling at times - with no escape or breaks.  Finding a system to help you process anger, frustration, or stress, is not just smart, but it will be a lifesaver to you during the extra difficult times. You will find you’re able to handle things more how you’d like to handle them – instead of letting your emotions take over all of the time.

Emotions aren’t bad. They are just signals that something is going on a little bit deeper. Listen to those signals and tame the tornado that can devastate a precious heart – without you even meaning to let it happen.