Everything You Do, Says Something About Who You Are

Everything I do, says something about who I am.

When I play a game, I can’t just cheat and then say, “it was just a game.” No – how I play that game says a lot about my character and values.

The same is true for my work ethic on the job, my honesty with money, how I treat others while I’m driving – and even, how often I go to church, or in what condition I leave my table in, at a restaurant.

EVERYTHING, that you and I do – reflects on who we are, what we believe about others, and about ourselves.

We may think a lot of the things we do, don’t matter in the grander scheme of things in life. We may think no one is watching, or that someone else deserves our reaction, or attitude. But the thing is – it’s not about THEM. It’s about US.

Who I am, matters to me. It matters to my spouse. It matters to my kids and my friends. And it matters to my Lord.

Companies are now checking into social media accounts like twitter and facebook to see how someone carries themselves. Drunk photos? Swearing in your statuses? Badmouthing someone else? You may not get the job. Because WHO YOU ARE MATTERS.

We never just represent ourselves. We always represent someone else, as well as ourselves. Our parents. Our faith. Our employer. Our church. Our city.

We matter.  We matter because we are valuable.  We are worth something.  Shouldn’t we start acting like it? Shouldn’t we start BELIEVING it?

Dress – like you matter.

Carry yourself – like you matter.

Speak – like you matter.

For everything you do, and everything you are, matters.  Whether you feel forgotten, overlooked, or ignored – you matter.

Start believing it. Start acting like it. And start feeling it.

You Can Be Who You Dreamed Of Being

Do you remember when you were a little girl, and you used to daydream about what you wanted to be when you grew up? You’d envision your life, job, family, and it would all be perfect in your head. You would be beautiful, (of course), really good at what you did, and have the most darling children.

You would make vows like, “I will never do this,” or “I will never be like that.”

I’m just wondering – except for the unattainable standards that reality has set straight… did you turn out like you dreamed? Did you get the life you dreamed of having? Are you who you wanted to be?

Life has a way of beating up our dreams sometimes. There are so many curves, corners, and twists – things we never saw coming our way.  As we navigate all of these, we can sometimes forget which direction it was that we wanted to head in, in the first place.

We can forget where we came from and who we are.

We just get a little lost.

But, it’s never too late to start becoming the person you want to be. It’s never too late to change habits, attitudes, or circumstances that have sidetracked you. It’s never too late to start laughing more, spending more time with those you love, becoming more patient, taking care of your health better, getting more organized, etc.

Never.

Some people may be surprised at your changes – at your shift. They may even try to hinder you, because they expect you to be who you’ve always been. But don’t let them. You CAN be the best version of yourself that you want to be.

Life is so much about choices. We impact the directions of our life by those very choices. Yes, some things can’t be helped. Some things happen TO us. But it’s how we react to those very things that dictate how we will be as people, and how our lives will be lived.

You CAN be the vision of that person you dreamed of being.  You can be happy with who you are. Don’t give up on those dreams that you once had. Alter them a little, maybe, but don’t give up on the dreams that are a part of your soul. For they are part of you.

Stop Diminishing Your Value

I often do that. Diminish my value. I don’t really realize I’m doing it at the time. Someone will compliment me and I’ll wave it away. They’ll ask about my writing and I’ll minimize it.

Why do we do that?

I think it’s because we compare. We compare ourselves to someone who is better.  Someone who is more beautiful, more eloquent, more gifted than we are.

So, maybe they are. But does that mean we don’t have worth? Does that mean we are not also gifted? And who “weighs” giftedness anyways?

I was recently in a conversation with someone about my writing. I told them that I may not be the most gifted writer around, but that I still believed God had things and words in me that He could use.  What this person told me in return meant a lot to me and showed me how I was minimizing the gifts that God had given me. They said, “you are a great writer because you write from the heart. I would much rather read something that is genuine and comes from someone who is "in the trenches" raising a family, than someone who has a PHd, and all of it comes from a "clinical" perspective. Don't discount how valuable your skills are. All that matters is that we bring God glory in our work. You do that in an outstanding way.”

Wow. WOW! They not only encouraged and affirmed my gift of writing, they gently told me not to discount and diminish the skills that God had given me!

We are each unique and individual. For a reason. We each have something different to bring to the table. Just because one person can bring the main course doesn’t mean that the appetizer is any less delightful or memorable.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and instead work on flourishing what we’ve been given. God has gifted each one of us in different ways.  We can be thankful for what He has given us instead of wishing it were stronger, bigger, wider, or fancier. We cannot be all that He intended us to be if we only focus on what we don’t have and can’t give.

Let’s stop diminishing our value.

Stop discounting how valuable our skills are.

Stop minimizing who we are and what we can contribute.

We each are outstanding in our own way and we each have something valuable to give. Enjoy it. Love it. Embrace it.

For you ARE valued and you DO have value to give.

Not Enough of Me, To Go Around

Some days it just seems like there’s not enough of “me” to go around.

I love to love on others. I try to always give my best and BE my best. But there are just some seasons where I feel like I’m always letting someone down. I feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do, be who I want to be, love on who I want to love on.

And I hate that.

I hate feeling like I need to have two of “me.” I hate feeling behind on things. And if I don’t feel behind on things, I feel behind on taking care of myself and my own emotions and needs.

I’m learning, though. I’m learning that there will never be enough of me to go around. I’m learning that I WILL always disappoint someone – and sometimes, that someone will be ME. Sometimes it will be important to put someone else’s needs and soul ahead of my own. But I need to be aware and recognize, when it’s time to tend to myself. For I can’t give anyone anything, if I’m not giving myself some love too.

I still get a little stressed in these seasons. I want there to be enough of me to go around. But most of the time, I’m learning to make peace with it. I do what I can do. Give what I can give. And be the best me that I can be. Even if that’s not enough for others.

It’s the best I can do. The best I can be. And that has to be enough.

We Get Hung Up On the "But's...."

We are “hard-to-please” people.  We desire, wish for, and want things in our lives. But then when we get them, they often don’t seem to be perfect for us. They should have come sooner, lasted longer, had different people involved in them.

We get hung up on the “but’s.”

“But…. God, if only I would have moved here 3 years ago!”

“But…. I had to give up this, in order to get that.”

“But…..it didn’t last long enough.”

We are thankful, BUT, not thankful enough.

We are happy, BUT, not happy enough.

There is always something missing. Something “more” we wish would have been added to the picture.

It’s not enough for us, that we get answers to prayer, because they don’t measure up to what our expectations of them were.

Oh, how ungrateful, and how unthankful we can be!

I’ve caught myself, many times, saying, “But….” And yes, I did feel the feelings and thoughts of those very “but’s.” I do wish some things were different. Stronger. Longer. Gentler. More beautiful.  But I do not want to diminish the gift they already are! I do not want to think so much on what didn’t come with my answered prayer, that I fail to see what did!

A “but,” is only our refusal to accept what is. It’s our denial and stubbornness at play. It’s our pride.

God does SO much for us. He sends us jobs, money, friendships, healed relationships, new homes, and sooo much more. His timing and His ways are perfect. So we can forget about wishing that our answered prayers had come sooner, lasted longer, or arrived in a different package. They are just how God wants them to be for us.

Perfect.

May we stop getting hung up on those “but’s…..” in our lives. They only interfere with our joy and blessings. 

Let’s notice them when they come, and stop them in their tracks. Before they start arriving too often.

This Need We Have, For Acceptance

From the moment we are born, it seems that we all crave acceptance. It starts with our babies craving to be held and loved. And it continues on throughout our whole lives. This need we have. For acceptance.

For some of us, this need is fostered by families who never seemed to value, or appreciate us. For others of us, there’s something inside of us, that truly seems to be our own worst enemy, as we look out into the world and see others who we think are better, more beautiful, smarter, more gracious, more athletic – whatever. Whatever it is that we think we are lacking.

We often, don’t give ourselves a chance. Not when we think we’d be better off if we were someone else.

That’s why “he’s” are changing into “she’s.” “She’s” are changing into “he’s.”  “He’s are liking “He”s instead of “She’s” and vice versa. There is no self-acceptance.

The thing is – if we can’t accept ourselves, no one else will ever accept us either. We can change our looks, our gifts, our jobs, our surroundings – but we are still “we” on the inside. Our brains, our organs, our very souls – cannot be changed. We were made to be who we are.

Everyone – EVERYONE – is a gift. A unique, special, priceless gift. EVERYONE has something to add of value to this world. Sometimes, yes, we are hindered by others in our life, or our surroundings. It may take courage and great strength to seek out healthier environments and input into our lives. But who we have in our lives, doesn’t change who WE are. No one can put a label on us that we don’t accept!

We all have a God-given identity. And it’s beautiful. We can spit in the face of it, we can try to change it – but it still exists underneath all of those layers.

YOU are valuable. YOU are irreplaceable. YOU have what it takes to be a man, to be a woman, to be a husband or a wife. Believe in yourself. Believe in the God who made you. It’s the only way you will ever truly feel peace. It’s the only way you will ever truly feel love.

Accept yourself as you were made. For you were not a mistake. You were not a “mess-up.”

You were – and – are – a gift. And you can’t be replaced. If you lose yourself, we lose you too.

You are loved for being you. The REAL you. The “created” you.

I promise.

Look In the Mirror

 Every morning we get up and we go into our bathrooms. We get dressed and we look into our bathroom mirror. Some of us gloss over our appearance quickly – maybe so that we don’t have to dwell on it. Maybe because we’re not happy with ourselves.  Others of us, look longer. And we do dwell. But not in a good way.

It’s so easy to see all of our flaws. That pimple that just popped up overnight. The eye that droops a little. The physique that doesn’t quite fit into the “I’m a supermodel” dream that we had for ourselves.

We can so quickly look at the negative. We take note of it. We ingest it.

Then we go about our day and maybe without realizing it, we carry those negative thoughts with us. So we feel insecure around others who we think have it “more together” than we do.  We aren’t as confident.

What if we had started our day on a totally different note?

What if, when we look in the mirror – we look at our positives? And not only that, what if we thank God for them?

What if when we see our eyes, we can thank God that He gave us eyes that hold compassion and notice hurting hearts so readily? What if when we see that pimple on our face, we remind ourselves that an authentic face is easier for others to relate to and get to know?

What if we embrace our smile? What if we are thankful for the arms that so easily hug others? What if we…. Just….enjoy who we are? 

We don’t have to be in denial that we have flaws and blemishes. Everyone has them. But we can, instead, focus on our gifts and blessings. We can notice the lovely things about ourselves and carry THOSE with us throughout our day – being ready to use them and bless others with them.

When we look in the mirror, we can choose to look at ourselves how God looks at us. With nothing but love.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I feel loved, I feel more beautiful. So maybe  a post-it on the mirror is in order to remind each one of us, that we ARE beautiful. We ARE blessed. And we ARE loved.

I see that when I look at you. Now you just need to see it when you look at yourself.

There Will Always Be Someone Who Doesn't Understand You

Can you live with it if you’re never understood?  That thought occurred to me one day when I was “rationalizing” in my head how someone was never going to understand what I’m all about or what I do.

And I wish they did. But, I’ve come to accept that they may never appreciate who I really am. They may never completely understand who I am as a person, or what I do for my family, or for others.

I’ve come a long way.

There were times in life where I’d fret and toil in my heart and head over the fact that someone didn’t “get” me. Now, I understand that there will always be someone in life who DOESN’T “get” me. There will always be someone who doesn’t like me. Someone who misunderstands what I’m about.

I will be misjudged.

I don’t like it. I don’t want it. But I’m making peace with it.

I’m making peace with the fact that some people will never understand my heart and soul because I’m learning to accept myself more. I’m learning to have more peace with who I am, and I’m learning to place more value in what God thinks of me, than the world.

It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I don’t have wishes of understanding or acceptance. It simply means I’ve decided not to prioritize those thoughts in my head. I don’t want to give them space where they can tamper with something good and valuable that I’m doing (and being).

I am who God has made me to be. And I’m trying to be the best ‘me’ that there can be. That has to be enough. It has to carry me through the times when others think less of me than I’d want or prefer.

Some people may never appreciate you. They may never truly understand who you are. They may never “get” your heart. That doesn’t mean their assessment of you is right. It simply means they don’t understand. But I promise you, there WILL be people who DO understand you and DO get your heart , for God always tries to encourage our hearts when we’re doing our best to stay the course in life.

Friend, you and I will both be misjudged at times. Many more times, probably. And I’m sorry for you, for those times. But I pray that you can accept who you are enough to carry you through those frustrating moments. For you are valuable, and valued for the unique and special person that you are.

Just “be” the best “you” that you can be. Find peace in that.  I have.

How We See Ourselves, Isn't Always How Others See Us

How we see ourselves, isn’t always how others see us.

I’ve written many things. Some things are coming from my own experiences in life. Others are from what I see going on around me. And I find it very interesting; that many times when I write something based on observation, some of the first people to “like” my comments, are the very people I had in mind when writing them!

We just don’t see ourselves the way others do.

I wonder, why that is? I mean, why, when we read something, can we see and recognize good thoughts or values, without seeing maybe flaws or weaknesses in ourselves that resonate with those very words?

Is it because we rationalize our behavior to ourselves? Is it because we’re in denial? Or is it because we honestly, truly, don’t think we act a certain way?

I wonder.

I would hope that I would recognize areas of growth that are needed in my own personality and character. I would hope that I would never just ‘wave’ away an expression or thought as something that only “other” people do. I would hope, that I would be able to always take a deep hard look at myself and see where I might, possibly, have said or done something that I would normally not want to be known for.

I don’t want to over-analyze myself. I do, however, want to honestly see myself how others see me, so if something needs fixing, I can fix it.

We all see life from a kaleidoscope of colors. Colors that come from how we were raised, treated, and what values were instilled in us. It’s easy to get tunnel vision and not see things from a different viewpoint.

Maybe it’s time to stand in a different spot with a different view. Somewhere we can see things from another angle. Then, maybe, we can see what others see. Not that it’s right or wrong, just a different perspective. One that may help us to adjust a few things.

What's The Worst That Can Happen?

I have fears. I have things I internally struggle with.  I have pretty good instincts and sometimes I fear what is coming because I pretty much know what it’s going to be. And that ‘thing’ is something I either dread, or don’t want.

Years ago, I learned to start challenging my own fearful thoughts. I started asking myself “what is the worst thing that can happen? And if that happens, can I handle it? Can I survive? Can I deal with it?”  Usually, the answer is ‘yes.’ It may not be what I want. It may hurt. But I can usually see that I will survive it and come out the other side of it somewhere.

It’s helped me. It’s helped me grow courage in otherwise vulnerable areas in my heart and life.

I still have fears. I still have struggles. But I can look at them from a more stable stance.

Life is full of curves. If only we could plan out our own path – right? But we can’t. We have so little control. We deal with a lot of things in life because of someone else’s choices. And we have to move on. We have to figure out how to navigate those things, especially when we didn’t really want them to be a part of our story, or our ‘life picture.’

We are stronger than we think.

So, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” And if it happens, cry about it. Yell, Kick something. Grieve over the loss.  Then let that moment shift. Adjust to it. And move forward on that new ground and in that new territory.

You can do it. You may not like it, but you can do it. And so can I.

What Does Your Heart Crave?

Empty spots. Holes that somehow don’t get filled, with most of the things that are sought after in life – things like wealth, success, beauty, or popularity.

Those things don’t satisfy. They don’t last. Sure, they feel good for a while, but then that good feeling fades, and that empty spot returns once again.

So, what does your heart crave? Have you spent time really thinking about that? Have you given yourself enough quiet moments of reflection to ponder, contemplate, and focus on where you are in life – compared to where you want to be?

WHO you want to be?

I think we all crave the same things at some level. We crave kindness. Goodness. We crave to be understood and heard. Listened to. We crave attention because we want to feel valued and valuable. We crave love. Joy. Peace. An unsettled heart and soul desperately craves peace!

We crave God. To know and be known so fully and completely and yet still accepted. Still WANTED.

People can deny it. But there is this inner need for there to be something “more” than just this life. This existence.

We crave hope.

It’s no wonder we so often feel lost. So many of these values, character traits, and morals, have been cast aside. It’s hard to find them.

And so we are left feeling somewhat empty. 

It doesn’t have to be that way. It doesn’t have to stay that way.

You ARE wanted. You ARE valued. There IS peace to be found and joy that can be yours. Even if life is tough and challenging. Even if others don’t understand.

Seek it out. Pursue it.

Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Sometimes You Just Have to Take a "Time-Out" From Life

Sometimes you just have to take a ‘time-out’ from life. 

I’ve been on ‘overload’ for awhile now. Getting my daughter ready to graduate from high school in June, working a part time job, planning a wedding for this Fall… and then just adding in the normal to-do’s of life.

But nobody has been telling me that I have to do it all. I’VE been the one telling ME that I have to do it all.

And I don’t. I can’t.

So, for my own well-being, I decided to say ‘no’ to some of life’s requests.

I didn’t go to this last session of Bible Study.

I told myself “no” to going to some blogger events that have come up in the last couple of months.

I’ve forced myself to relax some days – even though there was laundry and other chores to be done.

It has helped soo much! Lightening my load a little bit helped me focus on what truly was a priority and it has helped me start to get the rest that my body has been craving.

Life doesn’t stop altogether. But, you can quit for awhile on the things that don’t matter quite as much.

Sometimes you just have to say ‘no’ to the chores, and watch a movie. Put something aside and play a family game, or go on a walk.

It’s needed. For sanity. For clarity. For refreshment.

There will always be a list of things that need to get done. There will always be someone who wants something from us. But we are merely human. Our energy is not limitless. 

We need breaks. Time-outs. Time to be alone. Time to rest.

I feel strongly about following through on commitments and keeping your word. But there are times in life, where it might just matter a little bit more to focus on staying in tune with your own heart and soul. And to do that, you have to have to be given the time to hear them.

You are the only you that ever will be. So don’t forget to take care of that YOU that can get worn out once in awhile.

Take just a brief ‘time-out’ once in awhile.  Make yourself the focus and priority – so that you can fully be in the moment of your commitments – giving others the priority they deserve, as well.

Instead of "Big," Go "Small!"

Life is like a whirlwind sometimes. It feels like you’re on this ride and you just can’t jump off. You can’t “stop” things long enough to pause, and reflect. At least – that’s how it feels, sometimes.

I know the ‘season’ of “fast.” The season that shouts at me to keep up. These are the seasons that overwhelm me. Everything seems to be needed “now.” And I try to shout back, “I’m only one person!” I don’t feel like I can possibly do it all, be it all, plus enjoy it in the process.

I’ve learned over the years what overwhelms me. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s the “Big” that overwhelms me. When I have to come up with that HUGE dinner for a large group, or I have to get 20 gifts for the holiday. “Big.”

I’ve learned though – that I can handle these situations, if I divide them up into smaller chunks of demands. “Small” is doable for me.  If I can get 2 gifts done this week instead of focusing on the 20 I need overall, it’s more manageable. If I have part of a meal pre-made, then there is less to prepare for.

Doable.

Life IS demanding. It asks a lot of us. And on our own, we each ARE only one individual person. We can only do so much on our own.  But sometimes we forget that we don’t have to do it all. We don’t have to always go for “big” and “grand.” Sometimes an easy and quick meal means just as much, because people are together making a memory – and that’s what really matters.  Sometimes we try to outdo ourselves in order to create lavish memories. But it’s not the decorations that people need to remember. It’s the love, the kindness, the time spent together that is important.

We rush about enough as it is. If we can slow down and enjoy what we are doing, how much more meaningful life will be for not just us, but those around us.

It doesn’t have to be “big.” It doesn’t have to be over-the-top gorgeous. We don’t have to spend all our money. We can do simple. Easy. “Small.” And still pay attention to details, preferences, and the heart of those we love.

Love doesn’t have a pricetag. Or a size.

Ask any mom if she prefers store-bought flowers over a handmade card from her kids filled with words of love. And she’ll tell you.

So when the world says – “GO BIG!” Instead, go “small.” And see which one is the real winner.

It's Less About Looks, And More About Heart

I’m in my early 40’s and I’m already noticing changes. Changes with physical things and changes with internal things.

As for the physical, my hair isn’t anywhere as thick as it used to be. And I struggle more with wasted calories staying with me, instead of being able to eat whatever I want and not worrying about it. 

Internally, I see life in a more mature way than I did just 10 years ago. Raising children, going on mission trips to third world countries, moving from state to state, being married for 20 years, and just aging – contribute to my viewpoints and feelings at this stage of life.

I see how little, certain things matter in the big scheme of things. I see more and more what is truly important.

The world has it all wrong.  It’s less about looks and more about the heart.  You see that, as you get older.

I don’t care if my friend is perfectly cute. I just want her to be authentic.

I don’t care as much, if someone sees me without makeup, or in my jammies.  (But I still won’t leave the house in my pj’s.)

I’ve always cared about the character and heart of a person. But now, even more so. I think I appreciate it more. I notice it quicker. And I’m less apt to analyze the outside package.

I’m in a stage of life that I want genuine, caring, authentic, compassionate, honest people in my life. I don’t want to just hear “talk,” I want “follow-through.” I want to laugh, smile, love, and hug. I want to walk alongside others, (and have them walk alongside me) and do something good for someone else. I want to cry together and be there for each other when life hurts.

I want softness of heart, mind, and soul.

That’s what I’m looking for.

Image does matter. Don’t get me wrong. We should care how we represent ourselves to the world. But it’s not everything. It has its place and it has its purpose. Image is what draws someone to you – but it’s the heart that gets them to stay.

Oh, please remember that, my friend. Look at the heart of those in your life. And value it highly.

Do You Ever Wish, You Could Help The Whole World?

Do you ever just wish you could help the whole world? That you could help every child who cries, or every person who doesn’t know what it feels like to be loved?

Sometimes, I wish that. I wish that I could help everyone.

I wish that I could give self-esteem, to that teen who doesn’t have it. That teen girl, who looks for value in makeup, hairstyles, beauty, and relationships. Or that teen boy who thinks he has to have a 6 pack of abs, and a beauty on his arm. I wish I could show them that high school doesn’t last forever. That beauty and image are hollow things to fill their hearts with.

I wish I could hug that person who has tears streaming down their face, as they are thinking about trying to kill themselves. Or the person who has no tears at all, because they don’t want to feel. They don’t want to hurt. So they are numb.

I wish I had enough money to help all the Third World countries so that no child would ever starve again, and no mother would have to stand by and helplessly watch.

Oh, how I wish.

Life can feel so helpless at times. The obstacles can seem so overwhelming.

But, I refuse to feel helpless.  Convicted, yes. Saddened, definitely. Empathy, totally. But, I refuse to feel helpless.

Recently, I scrolled through post after post on twitter, of teens who mentioned being depressed, discouraged, and struggling with their self esteem. It may have been something small – but I decided to start replying to some of them and encouraging them. Maybe I’m the only one who will choose to speak to them in their moment of pain - I don’t know. But I refuse to stand by. I refuse to know someone is struggling, and do nothing about it.

There are so many heartbroken people out there. So many, who struggle with their own image. They need love. They need encouragement. They need to feel like they are heard, and that they matter.

I may not be able to help the whole world – but maybe, I can help just one.

For today.

And then maybe tomorrow, I can help another one.

It’s a start.

There Will Always Be Critics

There are moments in life where we all feel like we just can’t seem to please anyone. It’s as if we are blasted from every side no matter what decision we make. 

We’ve all been there.

Those moments in time, hopefully, have taught me a thing or two.  The biggest thing I think I’ve learned from those “you can’t please anyone” moments are, that there will always be critics in your life.  If you achieve something you’ve worked hard for, there will be those who are jealous and feel like you are “lucky” or you don’t understand what being in their shoes is like. There are others who will deem you lazy or who think you lack perseverance, if you never achieve what you aim for.

It’s that way with almost everything in life.  There are those who won’t cheer you on no matter what you do. They may be jealous. They may be hurting inside and can’t come to a point where they can enjoy seeing you happy. They may be lonely. They may simply not understand.

Critics can hurt. Words do hurt and actions do hurt. So when someone criticizes you for something you’ve done, it’s normal to feel the sting of it. The thing is, we can’t let the sting stay with us for very long.

It has to be enough for us, that we know inside of our hearts that we are on the right path in our life. We have to know that we’ve prayed, sought God’s guidance, used the best wisdom, discernment, generosity (whatever the situation calls for) – that we can. We have to know that we are right with God. And that has to be enough for us. For the critics will shout, they will point, and they will glare at us no matter what.

Don’t let them win. Don’t let them steal your joy or your passion. Pray for them and then take their condemning voices out of your head.

God said we would be persecuted. It’s a given. So when the critics are aimed in your direction, just know that it’s a part of living the Christian life and walking the Christian walk. Stay humble, stay kind, and let God deal with the rest.

You Have To Understand, That No One May Understand

A husband can always think that he works harder than his wife. The wife on the other hand, will never be convinced that her job is not harder than her husband’s.

A military wife deals with her husband being gone for extended durations at a time. She will never understand how another wife can get so scared and weak, when her husband goes out of town for just two nights.

They are differences of perspective, to be sure. And life is full of them. Someone will always feel one way, while someone else will come along and challenge those very feelings that they, themselves, have conquered or endured on a greater scale.

Neither person is right or wrong. We are all simply living different lives on different scales. We all have different pressure points that are weaknesses for us. God made some of us to be tougher, and others of us to be softer. Both are beautiful in their ability to handle the life they’ve been given.

The thing is, it doesn’t help us when we are the ones going through something and we feel like our feelings are cast aside, laughed at (possibly), or ignored.  We want to feel validated. Listened to. Helped!

You have to understand, that there are some times in life, where no one may understand. Ever.

I know. It stinks. But there are just some things in life where it seems we are meant to go through them, alone. Only with our feelings, thoughts, and our God. And somehow, we have to reconcile with them.

It is good, to see what others have been able to handle. It shows us we have the ability to be stronger and tougher than we thought we could be. It’s also good to learn to be empathetic to someone else’s position and point of view – even if we feel they should handle it better. We are not them. We don’t live with their struggles – so how can we possibly ridicule someone for not being like us?

It is true. There will be times where it seems as if no one in the world understands us. (As a reminder, our God does. And He’s with us in those times.)  During these moments and challenging seasons, try to think of how you will navigate what you’re going through, if there is no one who will ever understand. Will it change your feelings? Will it impact your choices and actions?

Sometimes the times where I’ve gained the most strength, are the times where I’ve decided for myself that it doesn’t matter if no one else understands. I UNDERSTAND. And I’m committed to my viewpoint. Sure, it would be encouraging to get the affirmation of those around me – but it may not come. And if I can understand this and make some choices that will help me help myself, then that’s what I must do.

People will let us down. They will disappoint. But we can always learn how to take care of our own emotions and feelings by setting boundaries in our lives, being proactive with certain choices and decisions, and finding ways to encourage ourselves and help keep us going.

My friend, I wish with all my heart that someone would understand your feelings. But they may not. And they may not understand me. That doesn’t mean they are right and you are wrong or vice versa. It simply means they don’t walk in your shoes and see things from where you are standing.

Hang in there. Keep seeking God’s wisdom and guidance. And use this time to remind yourself to offer understanding to someone else when they seek it. For you will then know, what it’s like to stand in the shoes of the misunderstood.