I’m a pleaser. I try to do the right thing and be a good person. I over-analyze myself at times and I am constantly trying to improve myself.
But I’m learning. At age 42, I better be learning! I’m learning about something called grace and mercy. And imperfection. I’m learning that they are okay. That they are needed. They are part of a more beautiful picture of our lives and who God is molding us to be.
I’m learning, that most of my life, I’ve been trying to fit a certain mold; a certain image of what I thought CHRISTIAN was and is. And, I’m not saying it’s wrong to want to be obedient to God’s commands or to hold yourself to certain standards. Those are good things. But the thing is, sometimes we can make it about us. Instead of about Him.
It doesn’t matter what I bring to the table. It’s really about what GOD brings to the table. I’m not the missing piece to the puzzle. HE IS. I don’t complete God. HE completes me.
I think sometimes we can focus so much on what we should do, that we put too much importance on our own position. It may not be intentional – but it’s there. It’s as if we think that it all hinges on us. We have to get things just right or everything will fall apart.
The thing is? We don’t. We don’t have to get everything just right. Sure, we should aim to, but we need to give ourselves grace and mercy when we so often fall short. And we WILL fall short.
I think that’s one of the hardest things about faith. We feel like we have to do something in the equation. But all we have to do is accept.