Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Shhhh.....Don't Tell!

As wives, we need to be careful at times. I know we need to fellowship and gather together with other women and “girlfriends.” We have this innate nature that God created within us to talk things out with them. But there are certain things and issues that we need to be careful about divulging.

We need to be careful about not jeopardizing the trust that our husbands have in us. They trust us, and they can confide some tender things to us at times. Things that they don’t want the whole world knowing (that includes your best friend).  Our husbands trust that what they tell us about their fears, their heart’s desires, their thoughts about things, jobs, people, etc. will go no further than our hearts, minds, and ears. But sometimes we just feel the need to “share” a bit too much outside the walls of our own home and in doing so, can injure the one we love the most.

There are lots of things we can discuss with girlfriends. And at times, we need to bend their ear on things that are truly bothering or hurting us. That’s why good friendships are so vital and important. But we need to implement some boundaries when it comes to our husband’s heart. He needs to know that some things are safe with us – that HE’S safe with us. If we want our man to open up and communicate to us, we need to be careful not to run to the nearest friend and repeat things that have been said.   Of course the same should be true for our man. We should be able to expect that unless permission is given, that some topics are just off limits outside of our marriage.

Intimacy is more than uniting in the bedroom as husband and wife. It’s also uniting our hearts and souls. Our dreams and wishes. We need to be able to vent, hypothesize,  speculate, dream, and ponder with our spouses without being afraid that our innermost thoughts are going to be broadcast elsewhere. Everyone needs a safe zone with someone else!  And we even need to be careful when sharing prayer requests with other women or at small groups that we don’t betray something that our husband wished was kept private and personal.

Communicate together as husband and wife if you are ever unsure if a topic can be shared or not. Get permission or the “ok” if you really feel led to share a burden with someone else and guard each other’s hearts. The time you take to invest in protecting and nurturing your special feelings, needs, and concerns with one another will grow your bond strengthening and enriching your marriage along the way.


Holly (2 Kids and Tired) said...

Terrific post Dionna, and one that is so important to remember. I cringe when I hear women criticizing or putting down their husbands and sharing things that should stay intimate and private. I received some wonderful advice when I got married and that was to always speak positively about my husband in public, so that when it gets back to him, he only hears good things. I have always done that exact thing. I know that my heart is safeguarded by my husband and he knows his is safeguarded by me.

Dionna said...

Holly - Good to hear from you! It's been awhile. How are you and the family?

Yes, I cringe too - when I hear or witness a husband or wife criticize their spouse in public. :( It's just a matter of respect.