Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Complaining About What Our Kids Don't Do Instead of Rewarding What They Do Do

Sometimes we get on our kids for what they DON’T do instead of for what they DO do.

It’s easy to do. They forget their homework or forget to do their homework and we can get on their case about it. But WE forget all of the times they DO do their homework and even forget what good grades they have.

They forget to call us and so we get on them about that. But we forget all the other times they call to let us know something when they didn’t have to.

Our kids are not perfect. I know – surprise –right? They are going to forget things. They are maturing and growing up. They have lots of distractions in their lives. Friends, boys, tv shows, books, ipods, facebook, family, chores, church, sports, and it goes on and on. They forget.

We forget.

I’ve forgotten things. Haven’t you?

It just seems to me that we are so good at griping about what expectations haven’t been met that we lose sight of all of the ones that have. We don’t often reward our children for making their beds every morning or never once forgetting to bring their sport outfit on game day. It’s an oversight on our part.

I think we need to correct that.  I think we need to start rewarding and recognizing what things ARE done. Even if they are little ones. Our children NEED that. They need to know that what they do is noticed. Appreciated and valued. They need encouragement!

They will still forget their homework sometimes. They will still forget to give us that permission slip to sign or totally “space” the fact that it was their turn to take care of the garbage or the pets. But they will also totally do something out of the blue for you sometime. They will show you the goodness in their heart and they will TRY to get something right.

And that deserves to be noticed.

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