Monday, November 11, 2013

Being Forced To Give

My husband and I both have a pet peeve about some of our holidays and days designated for “celebrating” a person.

Mother’s Day. Father’s Day. Valentine’s Day. Teacher’s Appreciation Week. Secretary’s Day. – Just to name a few.

Now, I hope ya’ll don’t hate me. I applaud what these days stand for. They represent and encourage us to appreciate these people in our lives. To love on them and celebrate them for a moment. But, what bothers me about them is that they kind of make us “force” the guessture. It’s not naturally done from a heart that wanted to do it – just because.

I’m a mom. I would feel really sad and hurt if my children didn’t recognize me on Mother’s Day. But I hate that they also feel like they “HAVE” to do something for me on Mother’s Day. It’s kind of pushed on them and it forces expectation on me.

I appreciate some of my children’s teachers. But not all of them. So am I forced to do something for them on Teacher Appreciation Week just because it IS teacher appreciation week? How about not having a teacher appreciation week and the parents doing something out of the blue (on their own) for a teacher simply because that teacher goes above and beyond in loving on and serving their kids?

Which would be more deeply felt?

I love my husband. I want him to show me his love. But I know that a beautiful lily or orchid (because I love them) given to me on a normal day of the week would probably be more special than a vase full of roses on Valentine’s Day because he HAD to get me something lest he be in trouble.

Do you see where I’m coming from?

We all are put in the position of having expectations on these holidays and also put in the position of giving – when the giving should be done all year long on our own anyways! Never because a holiday tells us we should! It’s like me sitting in church on Mother’s Day feeling awkward listening to a sermon about mothers and how we should be treated. I just feel uncomfortable.

My husband and I do participate in these holidays. We do it out of love. But I have to say, that we both appreciate the “extra” gestures (even if they are simple) done outside of these forced holidays as well. And it bears giving it some thought as to why we give gifts, cards, and flowers to others. Is it because we truly value them – or because we were supposed to?

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