It Wasn't a Gift I Wanted

We’ve all gotten those gifts that we don’t like. Maybe we found the gift ugly, it didn’t fit our personality, we couldn’t use it, or we already had one. The reasons are as varied as gifts themselves. Regardless, it can be an awkward situation to be in.

I have seen people react in many different ways when they receive something they don’t want or need. I’ve seen people blatantly tell the giver they already have one. I’ve seen people comment openly about not being sure what to do with it, and I’ve seen people be gracious and not say anything at all about what they are truly feeling.

I’ve gotten gifts that I don’t really want. I’ve given gifts to people that I end up seeing that THEY don’t really want! Neither is fun. But I think how you handle the situation is more important than the gift itself – for it shows how much you care about the other person and your relationship.

I, for one, HATE, HATE, HATE returning things. So I will avoid returning gifts to a store if at all possible. I usually try to find some way of using the gift if I can. If it’s just really not “me” at all, yes, I have “regifted” something to someone else before. I don’t think that’s a wrong thing to do.  You see, when someone gives a gift, they are giving you love. It is a blessing for them to give, and a blessing for you to receive. They still receive that blessing if I graciously accept the gift. If I refuse it, or reject it in any way, they DON’T receive that blessing! So, if I later “regift” something that is perfectly new and will bring joy to someone else – I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. As long as the giver is not notified so that they still reap the benefit of being a blessing to me.  I never want to hurt someone else’s feelings!

I’ve had a gift returned to me before. Someone couldn’t use something and they wanted me to be able to give it to someone else who could use it more than they. It stole the blessing I was trying to give to them. I would much rather have had them say a polite ‘thank you,’ and give it as a gift to someone else down the road than to return it to me. For it felt rejected. My efforts felt rejected. And that is never fun.

We need to see past the gifts sometimes into the efforts that someone made to give the gift. It is the effort that is the most important! It truly is the thought that counts, and some people put great, great thought into their gifts. You can feel it. You know it. And it means a great deal and shows how much care they put into giving you a gift of happiness.

Gifts aren’t just “things.” They are pieces of someone’s heart. Take great care when you give one – and when you receive one. For a piece of someone’s heart should always be held with appreciation and love.

Don't Despise Small Beginnings

I remember when I was 20 years old and living in Las Vegas on my own. I walked through a Neiman Marcus store at Christmas time and saw these gorgeous crystal icicles that you could hang on your Christmas tree. I thought they were beautiful but I couldn’t afford them. I found some plastic ones at a dollar store and hung those instead. I was smug with myself at my cheap little replacement.

Years later, I finally had glass icicles for my Christmas tree. But I kept the plastic ones. Even today, I still have a few plastic ones that haven’t gotten lost. I hang them right along with the glass ones to remind me of where I started from; my humble beginnings.

I also have paper ornaments that my kids made one year when we were in an apartment. We were building a house and all of our stuff was in storage. So they made ornaments out of paper. I still hang some of those too – a precious reminder of our thankfulness one Christmas, despite not having all our things. We made do and had fun despite what we lacked having.

I still have things I hang onto that don’t have monetary value to someone else. But they are sentimental to me because they are reminders. Reminders of a simpler time. A time when I may not have had financial excess, but I had happiness. And that’s a very important reminder!

Never be ashamed of your beginnings. Most people start out small and aim to get rid of those cheap things as quickly as possible. But it’s those “cheap” things that often can be such great reminders of how rich you truly were and show you how God took care of your every need to bring you to where you are now.

Whether it’s a small home, a “bargain” piece of furniture, or anything else that you had to “make do” with – focus on the bigger picture. There are people in your life who love you and enjoy being with you.

For many, many years, I used an old hope chest as a coffee table. I had many get togethers and people who had to sit on the floor and eat off that hope chest because I didn’t have enough chairs. Those are warm memories. Those were fun times.

You don’t have to have everything achieved in order to love and be loved. You don’t have to have a certain image to be valuable and to “value” pieces of your life.

Things are just things. It’s what they represent that holds the true value.  And that’s why I keep hanging my plastic icicles along with the glass ones. One represents a time and a place that I’m thankful for. It’s where I came from. It’s part of who I am. Another part shows how faithful my God is and how much He loves to lavish blessings on me. Both are valuable in my heart.  And the plastic one holds just as much value as the glass.

On The Other Side of Grace

As I sat this morning getting ready for our little family’s Thanksgiving celebration together – my heart was overwhelmed.

OVERWHELMED.

So much has happened in my life in the past 6 months and I am feeling so deeply thankful for where I am.  I am HERE. Here in Texas. Here on the other side of my prayer requests of 3 years. Here on the other side of grace.

There is no better place to be. I’ve felt it before. When I waged a long, deeply personal spiritual battle, and one day saw God gently sweep it out of my life. When I’ve asked Him for other things and His answers were delivered. That’s the other side of grace.  That’s the side where your heart feels so thankful, so blessed, so happy and indebted; that tears come to your eyes. There are no words. The feeling runs deep.

It’s joy. It’s happiness. It’s awe. It’s humility all rolled up into one.

And it’s all about HIM. As it should be.

That’s what living on the other side of grace feels like. It’s unexplainable but delightful. Raw, and it sends you to your knees more than once out of such utter thankfulness.

That is what I’m feeling today.

I am so thankful to be here. God’s “here.” Not my “here.” I never probably would have picked San Antonio on my own. I think God picked San Antonio. And I love it so far.

I am here. Here in a warmer climate. Here with my family. Here in a house that God provided for us to rent. Here with a new church and people I will begin to get to know. Here.

I am so thankful to be here. So blessed. And it makes me love God all the more. For He was faithful. And He will continue to be faithful as our other requests slowly get unwrapped and answered.

That’s living on the other side of grace. There is no better place to be.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Being Forced To Give

My husband and I both have a pet peeve about some of our holidays and days designated for “celebrating” a person.

Mother’s Day. Father’s Day. Valentine’s Day. Teacher’s Appreciation Week. Secretary’s Day. – Just to name a few.

Now, I hope ya’ll don’t hate me. I applaud what these days stand for. They represent and encourage us to appreciate these people in our lives. To love on them and celebrate them for a moment. But, what bothers me about them is that they kind of make us “force” the guessture. It’s not naturally done from a heart that wanted to do it – just because.

I’m a mom. I would feel really sad and hurt if my children didn’t recognize me on Mother’s Day. But I hate that they also feel like they “HAVE” to do something for me on Mother’s Day. It’s kind of pushed on them and it forces expectation on me.

I appreciate some of my children’s teachers. But not all of them. So am I forced to do something for them on Teacher Appreciation Week just because it IS teacher appreciation week? How about not having a teacher appreciation week and the parents doing something out of the blue (on their own) for a teacher simply because that teacher goes above and beyond in loving on and serving their kids?

Which would be more deeply felt?

I love my husband. I want him to show me his love. But I know that a beautiful lily or orchid (because I love them) given to me on a normal day of the week would probably be more special than a vase full of roses on Valentine’s Day because he HAD to get me something lest he be in trouble.

Do you see where I’m coming from?

We all are put in the position of having expectations on these holidays and also put in the position of giving – when the giving should be done all year long on our own anyways! Never because a holiday tells us we should! It’s like me sitting in church on Mother’s Day feeling awkward listening to a sermon about mothers and how we should be treated. I just feel uncomfortable.

My husband and I do participate in these holidays. We do it out of love. But I have to say, that we both appreciate the “extra” gestures (even if they are simple) done outside of these forced holidays as well. And it bears giving it some thought as to why we give gifts, cards, and flowers to others. Is it because we truly value them – or because we were supposed to?

Overdoing It....A Tad, Or A Lot?

Are we overachievers? I’m just wondering.

When I was a kid, when it came time for Valentines Day, our class got a brown lunch sack and decorated it. That was it.  Today our kids have to go all out decorating boxes in order to win class contests.

When I was a kid and I played softball, at the end of the game we would get a ticket to use at the concessions stand. If we wanted anything in addition to that, we had to buy it. Today, parents are required to supply treats and drinks for a whole team.

When I was a kid and I played volleyball and basketball – if I didn’t do very well – I didn’t play. Period. Today we have to make sure that every kid on the team not only plays but gets equal time playing – no matter how good they are.

When I was a kid, if I did good in class, I got a sticker and a smiley face on my paper. Today, our kids get gum, candy and more as rewards.

I’m just wondering if we aren’t overdoing it a tad – or a LOT. I mean, our kids are getting so indulged. And we wonder why they feel entitled? We feed into it.

Parents are just as guilty as teachers, or coaches, in making sure kids get a “pay off” for hard work when sometimes the hard work should be the pay off. We try so hard to be the best, outdo the rest, and fit in that we forget that we are teaching our kids that “image” is everything. I mean, what are we saying if we stress out over how grandiose their Valentines Box is when a paper bag would suffice? What are we saying when we reward every little effort they make? Where does the inner pride and feeling of doing something just for the reward of doing it well and feeling good about it come in? It’s getting lost, I’m telling you.

Sure, I don’t want my kids to be viewed as dorks or outsiders any more than the next parent does. But sometimes I just have to wonder if we shouldn’t draw a line somewhere and say “this doesn’t really matter in the big scheme of things.” I don’t want to feel pressured to get the most expensive snacks for the team so that I look good.  I don’t want to see my child get a lot of game time if they don’t learn that if they really want something, then they might have to work hard to get it. Because what matters more to me is what they learn internally so that if/when things fall apart in life THEY won’t fall apart too.

I think we’ve all become a little too obsessive-compulsive about things that shouldn’t be such big deals. We want our children to look the best, be the best, and hey – we want that for ourselves too.  But at what cost? I’d rather my child beam with pride over a shoebox decorated with stickers that they had a total ball applying, than a big ornate box that every parent in the room KNOWS that I did instead of my kid.

Yes, I think we need to take a good look at our motivation as parents. Image isn’t everything. It’s an empty lie. What you learn in the process of working and applying yourself… now that’s a different story. 

Make Your Gift Thoughtful

I’ve been told I have a knack for gift giving.  It’s nice to hear that since I usually stress and strain over just the right thing to give.  You see, I always want the recipient of my gifts to be delighted when they open up their present. I want the gift to make them happy.

I don’t just buy any old thing. I was always told, “If you like it, the person you’re buying it for will like it!”  I can’t tell you how much I disagree with that statement! I think it leads us down the wrong path.

When I’m buying a gift for someone, I try to be thoughtful. I think about the person’s personality, their likes, dislikes, hobbies, and what they have mentioned. So many times I have run to write down a gift idea after being with a family member and hearing them mention something that they either don’t have or have always wanted!

I listen and I try to pay attention.

Of course it can be hard if you don’t know what someone already owns. And on these occasions you can only do your best. For instance, if someone has a certain love or hobby, you can’t always buy them any old thing because often, they will already own it. So a little sleuthing may be in order, or you can go for new products out on the market that offers a better chance of someone not already having it.

Just because I like something very girlie and sparkly doesn’t mean my daughter, sister, mom, or friend will like it. Some ladies love pink while others love bold colors. Some like feminine and girlie things while others are tomboys. It all depends on the person. And the same is true for guys. Not all guys love football. And some guys are very particular about what brand of clothing or colors they wear!

If you really want to give a gift of love to someone else – be thoughtful. Be really thoughtful. Think about the person and the times you have spent with them. Think about their personality and what they like in life. Then use those things to help you find the right gift for them. There have been many times where I’ve gotten a gift for someone that I did not like at all but I knew it fit in with who they were. And I was right. I was right because I paid attention to who they were instead of who I am.

Gift giving is really all about the love wrapped up in that ‘thing’ isn’t it? So make it count. Show them you care about what they care about. And watch the delight in their eyes as they unwrap the contents.

It's My Birthday!

Today is my birthday. And no - I don't mind telling you that I am turning 41. Last year I had a harder time than I thought I would turning 40. But now, I've made peace with it and I'm enjoying being 41.  I'm a lot more comfortable with who I am at this age and I'm so thankful for my life.

So - no deep thoughts from me today. I'm off "playing" and celebrating ME with my family.




3 Great Reasons To Have Your Birthday In July:

1. The sun is always shining. And I LOVE warm weather and the sun!

2. Because it's in the summer, you get to sleep in! You don't have to get up and take your kiddos to school. YAY!

3.  It's more fun to eat ice cream than in the winter and you can wear cuter tops instead of being wrapped up in a huge sweater!

So yay for summer birthdays! :)

Enjoy a quick "flashback" of my 41 years of life. :)

~ Dionna

The Gift of Our Time

People don’t have a lot of time these days. Busy, busy, busy. But one of the greatest gifts we can give our friends and those who are dear to us is our time.

I’ve noticed that people seem to flit in and out of things rather quickly. It’s another thing “to do.” That birthday party of your dear friend, the holiday dinner with family, the graduation celebration of your niece, etc – they are all just added things on the list.

I’ve been there. I’ve had many empty days fill up quicker than I could snap my fingers. My weary mind and body have been so hungry for a day to just relax and recharge. It vanishes quickly.

The thing is, when it vanishes – sometimes it’s my choice. I could tell my daughter “no” about that extra birthday party. I could say “no” to many things unless they are school-required or appointments that aren’t flexible. So when some of my free time fills up – it’s my doing.

I can still make choices though. I don’t have to go to 3 celebrations in one weekend. I can choose just 1 to prioritize and go to and give my regrets to the other two.  I don’t have to cram everything I’m invited to into my schedule. It doesn’t make me more loved (or them) to hop in and out of function after function as if I’m some celebrity that they are “graced” to have in their presence.

I’ve found that it’s more meaningful to do less – MORE. It’s more important to those I love to spend more time with them than to have many friends get less of me. To stop in for 30 min at party after party is exhausting for me as well as them. And let’s be honest. Parties, reunions, weddings, events, etc – they take a lot of effort, money, and time in preparing. It’s kind of rude to just go in, eat a little, give a quick hug and then leave! But how about staying for 3-4 hours? Getting to know someone better and truly investing and leaving our heart and time with them? How about clearing out our schedule and just focusing on one thing instead of 3 or 4? Yes, someone might be disappointed once in awhile but in the long run, everyone involved will get more out of it.

A lot of things in our life will come and go. Relationships are where it’s at and what truly matters.  Take the time. Invest your time. Love with your time. You will be so glad you prioritized and made the choice to focus on less.. with MORE of you.