Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Sometimes I Lose My Balance

I continually have to learn lessons in life. I wish I didn’t, but I do. Alas, I am imperfect and very flawed. 

Sometimes, I lose my balance in life. It’s usually when I think my feet are on solid ground and I stop seeking God’s perspective in one area or another.

Sometimes I grow very critical. Other times, I grow anxious. I’ve had seasons where I’ve been too self-righteous or judgmental. Too ambitious, without checking to see what GOD’S plans might be for me.

It’s easy to lose our way. To lose our focus.

I’m thankful for these times (after the fact) though. They remind me of the kind of person I want to be. They remind me of the character I want to carry with me. I want to be humble. Patient. Kind. Forgiving. Gracious. Joyful. Blessed. Warm. Loving. Accepting.  These traits don’t come easily. They may sound easy, but they are easy to lose.

It’s easy to lose the quality of forgiveness when you’ve been hurt so deeply and your heart is feeling so bitter.  It’s easy to stop being patient when it seems you’re always waiting for “your turn” at something and you are doing things the right way, the honest way, and you see others skip ahead of you by cheating, tricking, or cutting corners. 

It’s too easy.

I don’t ever want this world to turn me into a cold-hearted, unforgiving, selfish person. I don’t want to be abrasive and judgmental.  So, I have to listen carefully and seek God constantly. I have to listen to those in my life who may be letting me know that I’ve gotten off-balance somewhere. I have to seek God out every day – not just on Sunday or Wednesday. I have to put my priorities aside at times, for the good of others, or the Glory of God.

It’s a constant process, but it’s what I want. It’s what I want for my life.

I want to be in balance. Centered. Focused. And I know that when I’m in those times of keeping things in check, those are the moments where I feel most satisfied and fulfilled. For God is living in me and working in me – instead of me working in myself.

I may always have to be juggling this balancing act in my life…. But hopefully, I will improve and get better at it over time, learning and growing so that I don’t have to balance quite as often or as much. May it come easier to my heart each time I regroup.

I pray the same will be true for you. May we both get the hang of it, so that our footing lands on solid ground much more often than shifting ground.

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