An Empty Well Cannot Continue To Give Water

“Step outside of your comfort zone.”

“Be generous.”

“Be involved.”

“Don’t be selfish with your money or time.”

“Think of others before yourself.”

All words we’ve heard. All important words TO hear. It’s important to realize where our lives may be out of balance, and where we may have lost some priorities along the way.  It’s good to sift ourselves and put things into focus from time to time.

These words can do that.

BUT – there are moments and times, where these words can also wear you down. These words – if not used in a balanced way – can cause us to neglect taking care of our own emotional and physical well-being.

I’ve seen it happen. I’ve HAD it happen.

An empty well cannot continue to give water. Nor can a person who gives so much that they start to wear down themselves in the process.

We NEED rest. We NEED time to ourselves. We NEED money to pay our own bills and provide for our own families. We NEED to feel safe in our own comfort zones.

None of these things is bad. They are the very things that help us stay whole and healthy. They help us feel confident.  It’s just that from time to time, we need to stretch our horizons a bit.

We can’t JUST focus on ourselves. And we can’t JUST focus on others and forget ourselves. Neither is good. Neither is healthy.

So if you’re one of those people who gives of themselves until the point of exhaustion….. ease up a bit. Allow yourself the freedom to tell someone “no” and be guilt-free about it. Tend to your own emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Then, when you are on more solid ground, dip your toes in the water of being stretched again.

This world needs us. But it needs healthy, confidant, grounded, stable, and HAPPY us! Keep that in the mind the next time you hear someone tell you to go outside of your comfort zone.

We Don't Get To Choose What Happens To Us

Life. It’s full of twists and curves.  The things we dream…. Sometimes come true. But sometimes, sometimes our lives are filled to the brim with unexpected challenges, hurdles, and surprises.

We never saw them coming.

I wouldn’t have chosen some people or things that have come into my life over the years. I certainly wouldn’t have chosen tears that I shed, or having a broken heart from time to time. I wouldn’t have chosen the scars that I still tuck deep inside. I wouldn’t have chosen certain challenges and hurdles that I’ve had to face. No. I wouldn’t have chosen them at all.

But they came. And I had to face them. I had to make decisions regarding them.

I had to choose who I was going to be THROUGH them, AFTER them, and BECAUSE of them.

I had to choose whether or not I would be shaped and identified by things in my life.

Sometimes those choices were easy. Having a strong faith makes certain decisions easy – even if the task in front of you is hard. But some of those choices were very, very hard. I had to face my own pride, selfishness, fears, and flaws. And I had to decide how I was going to proceed with my life from that point on.

We do not get to choose what happens to us in life. Oh, how I know we all wish we could!  We can orchestrate and plan and control as much as we are able – yet still – we can never control it all. We don’t get to choose how other people will react, what attitudes they will take, how our bodies will handle things, or where we will be at what point in time when nature shows us who is really in command.

We can only choose what we will do about it. We can only choose how it will shape us.

But from where I sit? Those are the most important choices of all. For they dictate so much about the rest of our lives.

No choice in life is ever small. Small choices always lead to bigger choices. So choose wisely. LIVE wisely. And as things unexpectedly get thrown at you, know that those are the defining moments for your life.

The moments of choice.

Not Enough of Me, To Go Around

Some days it just seems like there’s not enough of “me” to go around.

I love to love on others. I try to always give my best and BE my best. But there are just some seasons where I feel like I’m always letting someone down. I feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do, be who I want to be, love on who I want to love on.

And I hate that.

I hate feeling like I need to have two of “me.” I hate feeling behind on things. And if I don’t feel behind on things, I feel behind on taking care of myself and my own emotions and needs.

I’m learning, though. I’m learning that there will never be enough of me to go around. I’m learning that I WILL always disappoint someone – and sometimes, that someone will be ME. Sometimes it will be important to put someone else’s needs and soul ahead of my own. But I need to be aware and recognize, when it’s time to tend to myself. For I can’t give anyone anything, if I’m not giving myself some love too.

I still get a little stressed in these seasons. I want there to be enough of me to go around. But most of the time, I’m learning to make peace with it. I do what I can do. Give what I can give. And be the best me that I can be. Even if that’s not enough for others.

It’s the best I can do. The best I can be. And that has to be enough.

Our Own Insecurities Can Sabotage Us

Insecurities. Ohhhh – those blasted insecurities! They can balloon into monsters in our hearts and lives. They can get out of control when WE don’t feel we are in control. They can ruin relationships. Hurt, feelings. Cause misunderstandings. All because we react to circumstances based on those same insecurities.

If we feel like we don’t have control of a situation….

If we jump ahead of a situation and react based on how we FEAR someone will act…..

If we let our feelings be hurt because someone didn’t choose to act or respond in a way we think they should have….

If we don’t feel as important as we want to feel….

….. we can let those insecurities damage our reputation. Because we let them rule and take over our heart and head. We let them tell us the way things SHOULD be. And we react. We REACT before we have all the information on someone or something. We REACT before we let ourselves calm down. We REACT before we really think about a situation and try to understand.

And we sabotage everything.

No one else sabotaged our relationship. WE did. Out of fear. Out of feelings of inadequacy. Out of loneliness. We did it to ourselves.

 Sometimes we have it all. We have the love of those in our lives. We have their trust. We have their loyalty. And then we damage everything by the way we handle things. By the way we react. The very things we fear start to happen. We lose their trust. We lose their loyalty. Their time invested in us.

It’s so frustrating to everyone involved.

Insecurities are never our friend. They are issues that lie within our own souls that need to be resolved. Healed. Addressed. Oftentimes, those insecurities are never echoed by those around us. They are merely shouted at us from our own voices. From Satan.

We are ALL flawed. We ALL mess up. It’s what makes us human. Unique. That doesn’t mean we aren’t still valuable. Gifted. Loved.

Listen to what God says about you and who you are. You are lovely. Beautiful. Delightful to Him. Made for a purpose. Repeat that to yourself over and over. And chase those insecurities out the door. Or at least squash them into smaller voices. Don’t let them ruin the beautiful things and relationships you have in your life. Don’t let them chase you into a corner where you only hear them speaking. Step out into the open and leave them in the shadows. Today.

Your life is a gift. It may not be wrapped perfectly –but it’s a gift just the same. Let others enjoy that gift. And let life be imperfect. That’s what makes it a beautiful story.

You Can Wake Up, Feeling Loved For

It was just another Friday, not that long ago.  I woke up, grabbed my phone and was preparing to scroll through Facebook, before I took my daughter to school.

I got that little alert noise at that exact moment. Someone was on periscope. I went to check it out, and it was a lady. She was praying. Praying over us. Praying over us, as writers.

I closed my eyes and let her words pray over me. And it felt so good. It felt so right to start my day that way. I thought, “How wonderful it would be, to wake up every morning, and have someone pray over you!”

I continued on with my morning, and as I was coming home from taking my daughter to school, I was listening to Christian radio. Thinking again, how this just added to the previous prayer in starting my day right. Jeremy Camp was on, singing about the power that we have through God. As if God were reminding me.

Then, it happened. As I was driving, I looked up into the sky, because the sun was coming out. And I saw it.

A cloud – in the shape of a heart. I kid you not.  It was as if God was telling me, “I love you.”

I got tears in my eyes. I grabbed my phone and waited to turn into my neighborhood, so I could pull over and take a picture. It was only about a minute away. I looked up again as I turned into my neighborhood, and that heart cloud was gone.

God placed it there for my eyes alone.  For me. Personally. No one else.  And once I saw it and felt His love, it was gone.

What a different way to start my day! What a PERFECT way to start my day. With HIM.

How often I neglect Him. How often, I start my day with my own thoughts and agenda. No prayer. No Bible Verse. No Christian music. NO GOD.

Oh, what I miss out on!

If only we could all wake up feeling loved for, as I did on that Friday morning. I wish that for all of us.

When Your Hiding Place Has Become a Home

What battles have you waged in your life? What is it, that makes you feel like your heart and soul are locked in a cage? Do you feel free to be YOU? Do you feel labeled, defined, stuck in a role?

Have you put yourself there?

There are so many things in life that have hurt us. Ever since we were little, we have become broken pieces. Bit by bit.

All of us.

Some of us, allow ourselves to be put back together again. We wear the scars, but we are able to find beauty in the broken parts of our lives. Others of us, we just – stay – broken.

Somehow, we don’t know how to get fixed. We are lost.

We hide behind food and weight. Drugs. Alcohol. Achievement. Success. Perfectionism. Service. A smile, perhaps. But we hide.

We’ve hidden so long, we don’t even know we are hiding anymore. Our hiding place has become home.

Oh, precious soul. There is so much more beauty, joy, and love to be found in your life! You don’t have to hide. Not anymore.

You can be fixed. You can find wholeness. You will have scars – always. But those scars can only prove that you are a survivor. You made it.

You overcame.

“It” didn’t win over you.

You can help others. Those others who struggle with the same things. You can help them find their voice, their joy. Their beauty.

And in doing so – you will find yours.

You will see how your story has made you even more beautiful.

Those tears don’t have to fall forever. They don’t have to fall in private.  Bring them out into the light.

Let yourself be loved. Let yourself heal.

You deserve that. There are people out there, ready to help you. They are reaching for you with open arms. Grab hold and step out of your hiding spot.

You don’t need it anymore.

There Is No Timetable For Healing

There is no timetable for healing. You can’t rush the process of healing.

We are all so different. One person might be in shock over something for awhile, while someone else gets angry immediately and gets it out of their system. Another person may not even register what they are feeling for awhile – their emotions are delayed. They come at another time and place when they are least suspecting it.  (And often, with force.)

So, with all the differences of dealing with hurts, losses, tragedies, and grief… who are we to say when the right time is for someone to “get over it?”

I think it’s important that we extend grace to one another. None of us sits in someone else’s shoes – or heart, for that matter.  We can’t force someone to stop thinking about a loved one, to think LONGER about a loved one, or to not have ‘after-effects’ that last years or longer from something tragic in their lives. For we all register big hurts and losses on different scales.  That doesn’t mean that one person cares more than another, just that we sift through those feelings and deal with them at a different rate and manner.

I believe in always being respectful and gracious. Certain situations and losses in life demand a certain level of respect and honor. That being said, I also believe that it’s important to move on with our lives. It’s vital to keep moving forward and growing as a person. That can be hard to fathom when you’re in the beginning stages of grief or healing. But at some point, there have to be steps taken to keep on living and to live life to the fullest.

We are still here. We survived. And even though we may have hurt in a way that no person should have to – our lives still have meaning. We can turn that pain into something constructive, good, helpful, and generous to someone else who may be a little bit further back on the road that we just came on.

I wish life had less hurts. I wish parents didn’t lose babies or children. I wish no one ever had to make the decision to “pull the plug” on someone who lay in a coma. I wish no person was ever abused, raped, bullied, or kidnapped. There is a great deal of evil out there. A great deal that is unfair.

We will ALL go through hurts in life. None of us escapes unscathed. So we should all understand what it feels like to be hurting. To shed tears and to feel great pain.  We can use that understanding to offer love to one another and give each other the freedom to work through their suffering on their timetable – and at their comfortable pace.

As long as someone IS working through whatever that awful “IT” is, that’s all that matters. Love them and be there for them.

Even if it takes years.

What's The Worst That Can Happen?

I have fears. I have things I internally struggle with.  I have pretty good instincts and sometimes I fear what is coming because I pretty much know what it’s going to be. And that ‘thing’ is something I either dread, or don’t want.

Years ago, I learned to start challenging my own fearful thoughts. I started asking myself “what is the worst thing that can happen? And if that happens, can I handle it? Can I survive? Can I deal with it?”  Usually, the answer is ‘yes.’ It may not be what I want. It may hurt. But I can usually see that I will survive it and come out the other side of it somewhere.

It’s helped me. It’s helped me grow courage in otherwise vulnerable areas in my heart and life.

I still have fears. I still have struggles. But I can look at them from a more stable stance.

Life is full of curves. If only we could plan out our own path – right? But we can’t. We have so little control. We deal with a lot of things in life because of someone else’s choices. And we have to move on. We have to figure out how to navigate those things, especially when we didn’t really want them to be a part of our story, or our ‘life picture.’

We are stronger than we think.

So, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” And if it happens, cry about it. Yell, Kick something. Grieve over the loss.  Then let that moment shift. Adjust to it. And move forward on that new ground and in that new territory.

You can do it. You may not like it, but you can do it. And so can I.

Sometimes You Just Have to Take a "Time-Out" From Life

Sometimes you just have to take a ‘time-out’ from life. 

I’ve been on ‘overload’ for awhile now. Getting my daughter ready to graduate from high school in June, working a part time job, planning a wedding for this Fall… and then just adding in the normal to-do’s of life.

But nobody has been telling me that I have to do it all. I’VE been the one telling ME that I have to do it all.

And I don’t. I can’t.

So, for my own well-being, I decided to say ‘no’ to some of life’s requests.

I didn’t go to this last session of Bible Study.

I told myself “no” to going to some blogger events that have come up in the last couple of months.

I’ve forced myself to relax some days – even though there was laundry and other chores to be done.

It has helped soo much! Lightening my load a little bit helped me focus on what truly was a priority and it has helped me start to get the rest that my body has been craving.

Life doesn’t stop altogether. But, you can quit for awhile on the things that don’t matter quite as much.

Sometimes you just have to say ‘no’ to the chores, and watch a movie. Put something aside and play a family game, or go on a walk.

It’s needed. For sanity. For clarity. For refreshment.

There will always be a list of things that need to get done. There will always be someone who wants something from us. But we are merely human. Our energy is not limitless. 

We need breaks. Time-outs. Time to be alone. Time to rest.

I feel strongly about following through on commitments and keeping your word. But there are times in life, where it might just matter a little bit more to focus on staying in tune with your own heart and soul. And to do that, you have to have to be given the time to hear them.

You are the only you that ever will be. So don’t forget to take care of that YOU that can get worn out once in awhile.

Take just a brief ‘time-out’ once in awhile.  Make yourself the focus and priority – so that you can fully be in the moment of your commitments – giving others the priority they deserve, as well.

Instead of "Big," Go "Small!"

Life is like a whirlwind sometimes. It feels like you’re on this ride and you just can’t jump off. You can’t “stop” things long enough to pause, and reflect. At least – that’s how it feels, sometimes.

I know the ‘season’ of “fast.” The season that shouts at me to keep up. These are the seasons that overwhelm me. Everything seems to be needed “now.” And I try to shout back, “I’m only one person!” I don’t feel like I can possibly do it all, be it all, plus enjoy it in the process.

I’ve learned over the years what overwhelms me. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s the “Big” that overwhelms me. When I have to come up with that HUGE dinner for a large group, or I have to get 20 gifts for the holiday. “Big.”

I’ve learned though – that I can handle these situations, if I divide them up into smaller chunks of demands. “Small” is doable for me.  If I can get 2 gifts done this week instead of focusing on the 20 I need overall, it’s more manageable. If I have part of a meal pre-made, then there is less to prepare for.

Doable.

Life IS demanding. It asks a lot of us. And on our own, we each ARE only one individual person. We can only do so much on our own.  But sometimes we forget that we don’t have to do it all. We don’t have to always go for “big” and “grand.” Sometimes an easy and quick meal means just as much, because people are together making a memory – and that’s what really matters.  Sometimes we try to outdo ourselves in order to create lavish memories. But it’s not the decorations that people need to remember. It’s the love, the kindness, the time spent together that is important.

We rush about enough as it is. If we can slow down and enjoy what we are doing, how much more meaningful life will be for not just us, but those around us.

It doesn’t have to be “big.” It doesn’t have to be over-the-top gorgeous. We don’t have to spend all our money. We can do simple. Easy. “Small.” And still pay attention to details, preferences, and the heart of those we love.

Love doesn’t have a pricetag. Or a size.

Ask any mom if she prefers store-bought flowers over a handmade card from her kids filled with words of love. And she’ll tell you.

So when the world says – “GO BIG!” Instead, go “small.” And see which one is the real winner.

There Will Always Be Critics

There are moments in life where we all feel like we just can’t seem to please anyone. It’s as if we are blasted from every side no matter what decision we make. 

We’ve all been there.

Those moments in time, hopefully, have taught me a thing or two.  The biggest thing I think I’ve learned from those “you can’t please anyone” moments are, that there will always be critics in your life.  If you achieve something you’ve worked hard for, there will be those who are jealous and feel like you are “lucky” or you don’t understand what being in their shoes is like. There are others who will deem you lazy or who think you lack perseverance, if you never achieve what you aim for.

It’s that way with almost everything in life.  There are those who won’t cheer you on no matter what you do. They may be jealous. They may be hurting inside and can’t come to a point where they can enjoy seeing you happy. They may be lonely. They may simply not understand.

Critics can hurt. Words do hurt and actions do hurt. So when someone criticizes you for something you’ve done, it’s normal to feel the sting of it. The thing is, we can’t let the sting stay with us for very long.

It has to be enough for us, that we know inside of our hearts that we are on the right path in our life. We have to know that we’ve prayed, sought God’s guidance, used the best wisdom, discernment, generosity (whatever the situation calls for) – that we can. We have to know that we are right with God. And that has to be enough for us. For the critics will shout, they will point, and they will glare at us no matter what.

Don’t let them win. Don’t let them steal your joy or your passion. Pray for them and then take their condemning voices out of your head.

God said we would be persecuted. It’s a given. So when the critics are aimed in your direction, just know that it’s a part of living the Christian life and walking the Christian walk. Stay humble, stay kind, and let God deal with the rest.

You Have To Understand, That No One May Understand

A husband can always think that he works harder than his wife. The wife on the other hand, will never be convinced that her job is not harder than her husband’s.

A military wife deals with her husband being gone for extended durations at a time. She will never understand how another wife can get so scared and weak, when her husband goes out of town for just two nights.

They are differences of perspective, to be sure. And life is full of them. Someone will always feel one way, while someone else will come along and challenge those very feelings that they, themselves, have conquered or endured on a greater scale.

Neither person is right or wrong. We are all simply living different lives on different scales. We all have different pressure points that are weaknesses for us. God made some of us to be tougher, and others of us to be softer. Both are beautiful in their ability to handle the life they’ve been given.

The thing is, it doesn’t help us when we are the ones going through something and we feel like our feelings are cast aside, laughed at (possibly), or ignored.  We want to feel validated. Listened to. Helped!

You have to understand, that there are some times in life, where no one may understand. Ever.

I know. It stinks. But there are just some things in life where it seems we are meant to go through them, alone. Only with our feelings, thoughts, and our God. And somehow, we have to reconcile with them.

It is good, to see what others have been able to handle. It shows us we have the ability to be stronger and tougher than we thought we could be. It’s also good to learn to be empathetic to someone else’s position and point of view – even if we feel they should handle it better. We are not them. We don’t live with their struggles – so how can we possibly ridicule someone for not being like us?

It is true. There will be times where it seems as if no one in the world understands us. (As a reminder, our God does. And He’s with us in those times.)  During these moments and challenging seasons, try to think of how you will navigate what you’re going through, if there is no one who will ever understand. Will it change your feelings? Will it impact your choices and actions?

Sometimes the times where I’ve gained the most strength, are the times where I’ve decided for myself that it doesn’t matter if no one else understands. I UNDERSTAND. And I’m committed to my viewpoint. Sure, it would be encouraging to get the affirmation of those around me – but it may not come. And if I can understand this and make some choices that will help me help myself, then that’s what I must do.

People will let us down. They will disappoint. But we can always learn how to take care of our own emotions and feelings by setting boundaries in our lives, being proactive with certain choices and decisions, and finding ways to encourage ourselves and help keep us going.

My friend, I wish with all my heart that someone would understand your feelings. But they may not. And they may not understand me. That doesn’t mean they are right and you are wrong or vice versa. It simply means they don’t walk in your shoes and see things from where you are standing.

Hang in there. Keep seeking God’s wisdom and guidance. And use this time to remind yourself to offer understanding to someone else when they seek it. For you will then know, what it’s like to stand in the shoes of the misunderstood.

"What Could She Possibly Understand About Pain And Struggle?"

I’m not sure what others think about me as they read the words I write. I try to be transparent in the lessons I’m learning in life. I try to be authentic about my own shortcomings. I am very, very far from being a perfect person.

I try to be positive. And in that ‘gleaning’ of something good out of a lesson or life, I often wonder what others think of me as they read the words I write. If others might think I could never possibly understand what it’s like to live life in their shoes. To hurt. To be frustrated. To struggle.

It’s not that I live a charmed life. I live a real one. But I choose to see the blessings God has given me in that life. Not because I think I get more blessings than someone else – but because I’ve seen and felt times where there WAS pain, hardship, and struggle. So the blessings are very apparent to me – very coveted.

If you find yourself questioning and thinking that maybe I think I walk a better path in life than you, that I never have hardships, or could never love, understand, or care about someone who constantly deals with issues – let me change your opinion.  For I HAVE hurt. And I HAVE struggled. I still do.

I have dealt with death and loss. Cancer. Suicide. Plane crashes. Heart attacks. These have been a part of my life.

I have struggled. As a stepmom. As a wife. As a friend. I have let people down. I have said things I regret. I have been immature. I have hurt my children’s feelings, and they have hurt mine. I have hurt my husband’s feelings, and he has hurt mine. I’m human.

I have dealt with health issues. I don’t need to rattle off every thing I’ve been dealt with – but just a few are heart irregularities, kidney stones, reflux, anxiety, bursitis, bad posture, teeth issues. No one is perfect. I know what it feels like to be frustrated.

I have been on food stamps.  I’ve only had $20 at the end of a payday. I’ve lost money and I’ve wasted money. I know what it’s like to not have enough, and to have more than you need.

I’ve been misunderstood. Judged. Ignored. Laughed at. Talked about.

Yet, God is faithful. He’s walked through everything with me. My mistakes. My mess-ups. My challenges. And He HAS blessed me. I live a blessed life. Some things I’ve overcome, some things… I still struggle with.

So, I may not know EXACTLY what you are feeling and going through – but I do know what it feels like to hurt, to be sad, to feel lost, and to be discouraged and frustrated. But I also know what it feels like to walk over to the other side of those things. To see victory. Praise. Blessing.

And that perspective humbles me. It shapes me. It touches me.

Please don’t ever think that I live a charmed life with no obstacles or hurdles to overcome. No one lives that kind of life. NO ONE.

I may choose to look at the positive, the bright side… the blessings. But that’s only because I know what it feels like to feel the hurt and pain. And I’m thankful to not always sit in those moments. To sit in new ones – redeemed ones.

We are all in this walk of life together. TOGETHER.

Know that you are never alone.

And that you are loved. In whatever season you find yourself in.

When You Can't Move On

Stuck. Sometimes we’re just stuck.  Stuck in the past. Stuck in the moments that hurt us deeply. Stuck in what “wasn’t.” Stuck.

We live there, in the past. We wish. We hope. We mope about feeling sorry for ourselves and our bad luck. Our misfortunes. Our wasted dreams.

It doesn’t do us any good to be stuck. It’s not healthy and we need to learn how to move on with our lives. To move forward.

Yes. We were wronged.

Yes. We were hurt.

Yes. Someone took advantage of us.

Yes. We were lonely and ignored.

Yes. We could have been great at “that” thing.

Yes. We are dealing with someone else’s wrong choices and they affected us in an unfair way.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

It stinks. But we lived through it. We made it.

It was in the past and we are now in the present. It’s time to live in it, don’t you think?  Use what hurt you. Use it for good. Use it for growth. Use it to get stronger and better. Use it to help someone else.

The longer I live life, the more I see how life doesn’t go the way we thought it would go. Our nicely laid out plans and paths end up being detours and road blocks. What should be a smooth road is bumpy. What should be a straight shot is full of curves.

It’s life.

We have the opportunity to move forward with freedom, joy, and peace. We just need to come to terms with what has happened to us.

It is a part of our story. Not the best part, but a part. And we can use it to our advantage and the advantage of others. But we can’t stay ‘stuck’ back there; still living in that moment and time. We have to leave it back there and move forward.

What we’ve gone through will always be a part of us. But it can be a part of us that God can redeem and use for good.

Let Him.

Take a step today to move forward and find a new dream, a new purpose, and a new freedom in knowing that you weren’t conquered. You weren’t overcome.

Move forward. Make the choice to redefine your future into something beautiful. One step at a time.

And We Wonder Why We Struggle

Sometimes we want to lead. We want to have control of our life and a situation or circumstance going on in it.  We want to walk in the direction that we see fit, and hope that God will bless it along the way.

Let’s face it, we don’t always want Him holding our hand and walking step by step with us unless He lets us choose the course of the direction we are walking in.

It’s the truth, yes?

In our heart of hearts, we DO want God’s blessing in our lives. We DO want Him to be with us and to guide us as we make decisions and choices. But often, we want to make those choices on our own – without consulting Him. And then, we want Him to stamp an approval on it.

And we wonder why we struggle.

I am so guilty of wanting things to go in the direction that I think is the right one. I can have quite the ‘heart-to-heart’ talk with my Lord in trying to convince Him that my way is the best way. As if He doesn’t really know the BEST way! Who am I trying to kid? My way is usually – simply – my way.

We often operate in fear. Fear of losing someone, some thing, or some control in our lives. Fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of anything. We let that fear dominate our faith. We let it take over.

I don’t know about you, but I hate it when I do that. And I’ve done that time and time and time again.

I want to instead, choose peace. I want to trust in my Lord and Savior; that He knows what He’s doing, even if that DOING might cause me heartache. I want to let HIM choose the direction and course of things – not me. I don’t want to fight against Him or try to talk Him into my logic.

It’s hard not to do those things. So hard. Some battles are so personal and so emotional that it can take everything we have, to just cling to God in that trust. But my God has ALWAYS, ALWAYS been faithful to me. He is good to me. And I want to trust. Not because I believe I will get my way, but because I believe that HIS way will be the best way.

It’s scary – this letting God choose the outcome thing.  I still have to fight against the mentality of thinking that my way should be the right way. I have to swallow a lot of pride and fear. But, I want to know God’s heart more. I want to hear and see Him more. And I think the best way to do that; is if I get out of His way.

Everything I am, and everything I believe in, is riding on my faith and trust in God – especially when I have so much at stake in certain decisions and circumstances. But, that’s who I want to be. That’s HOW I want to be. For I’d much rather be walking through challenging issues in life holding God’s hand, than walking alone and hoping He’ll catch up and accompany me.

Unwanted

Oh, feelings of inadequacy! You came to us uninvited.

Fear that swept in like a tidal wave and stole our joy, you too, showed up uninvited.

Worrisome and blue thoughts – we never asked you to stop by – or to stay a long while.

Loneliness, we’re sure you picked the wrong house. For we only sought friends to stop by.

You were all uninvited. And yet, we let you stay. We believed the lies you whispered to us. We let you turn our heads away from the content, trusting, and courageous thoughts that we were having before you rang our doorbell.

We shouldn’t have let them enter. But we did. And now we don’t know how to get them to leave.

Those unwelcome and unwanted visitors that steal away the truths that God has handed to us. Those truths of being valued, wanted, delighted in, and handed strength to. The unwelcome visitors are so loud and ‘in-our-face’ that we have no room left to remember the faithful friends we already had with us.

That’s satan for ya. He loves to come in when we think the ground is solid and sweep it out from under us.

We all have dealt with those uninvited guests in our lives. We ALL have struggles with them  - some of us deal with all of them at once, while others deal with one or two at a time. But they get around. They like to visit and invade our homes and our hearts.

It’s time that we take our hearts and our minds back. It’s time to let these unwelcome feelings and thoughts know that it’s time for them to leave.

Usher them out the door. Hang out a ‘no soliciting’ sign and be on the watch – always. Know when you are vulnerable to unwelcome visitors stopping by. Don’t open the door to them.

We have a shield that we can use to protect us.

We have wisdom to help guide us.

We have strength to help arm us for the battle.

We have joy to help heal us from the wounds that are left behind on our battle-scarred bodies.

We have these tools at our fingertips in God’s Word. He’s given it to us to help us keep those walls of protection up. To know when an unfriendly visitor is disguised as a friendly one. But we have to listen to Him. We have to speak to Him. We have to read the words He’s spoken to us.

Otherwise we are left out in the open – vulnerable. Unprotected. Unarmed. And scared.

Friend, you are not in this battle of life alone. Whether it’s an emotional, spiritual, or physical battle. It can be fought and it can be won. There are others out there fighting the good fight just like you.  They can help you. Encourage you. Love on you and strengthen you.

You don’t have to be a victim anymore. You don’t have to sit there and let the unwanted take over your life.

Nor do I.

Satan would like us to think we have no choice. We’re stuck. But we’re not. God wants us to be victorious.

So let’s fight! Fight hard! Fight for your own life, your own worthiness, and your own mind. No one should have to live their life with unwanted guests stealing their inheritance.

Not you. And not me.

Fighting To Be Treated Right

Sometimes it feels like you just have to fight for everything in your life. You have to fight to be treated right.

For example, when we moved into a house rental upon moving to Texas, we noted everything wrong on our walk-in sheet. Then when it was time to get our return deposit check, we noticed we were deducted a huge chunk of change to fix the very things we’d noted were already there when we first moved in. Damage not caused by us. So we had to stand up for ourselves to try and get the money we were due.

That’s just one example of a long list of things that it feels like our family has had to fight for in recent years.

We’ve had to fight to be treated right.

It would be so easy to give up. It’s so easy to get discouraged. Sometimes the ‘fight’ is draining. It’s stressful and it takes a lot out of you. You don’t even always win. Sometimes you’re treated unfairly and you just have to swallow and move on. But it can be hard.

I think sometimes the world expects us to give up. It at least hopes we will. It can be easy to take advantage of people. Bully them. Walk right over them to put yourself and your needs first.

But sometimes we need to engage in the fight. We need to remind Satan (and the world) that we are warriors and that even though we get discouraged and tired, we have fight in us. We have fight in us especially when it’s something worthwhile that we are fighting for.

Life IS a battle. You win some and you lose some. You get beat up along the way. But to walk away doesn’t mean you win. It simply means you chose to give up before you even tried to fight for what you felt was right.

I do get tired of feeling like we have to fight to be treated fairly in this life. I do get tired of feeling like we’ve been taken advantage of. But I believe in who I am enough to know that sometimes you just have to stand up, use your voice, and say “this isn’t right.”

If you feel like you are in a ‘fight’ for justice right now for yourself or someone you love, hang in there. Maintain your integrity in the process and have faith that whatever the outcome, you are doing the right thing in addressing the issue.

Don’t give those war-wagers an inch more of your heart and life than they’ve already taken.