Everything You Do, Says Something About Who You Are

Everything I do, says something about who I am.

When I play a game, I can’t just cheat and then say, “it was just a game.” No – how I play that game says a lot about my character and values.

The same is true for my work ethic on the job, my honesty with money, how I treat others while I’m driving – and even, how often I go to church, or in what condition I leave my table in, at a restaurant.

EVERYTHING, that you and I do – reflects on who we are, what we believe about others, and about ourselves.

We may think a lot of the things we do, don’t matter in the grander scheme of things in life. We may think no one is watching, or that someone else deserves our reaction, or attitude. But the thing is – it’s not about THEM. It’s about US.

Who I am, matters to me. It matters to my spouse. It matters to my kids and my friends. And it matters to my Lord.

Companies are now checking into social media accounts like twitter and facebook to see how someone carries themselves. Drunk photos? Swearing in your statuses? Badmouthing someone else? You may not get the job. Because WHO YOU ARE MATTERS.

We never just represent ourselves. We always represent someone else, as well as ourselves. Our parents. Our faith. Our employer. Our church. Our city.

We matter.  We matter because we are valuable.  We are worth something.  Shouldn’t we start acting like it? Shouldn’t we start BELIEVING it?

Dress – like you matter.

Carry yourself – like you matter.

Speak – like you matter.

For everything you do, and everything you are, matters.  Whether you feel forgotten, overlooked, or ignored – you matter.

Start believing it. Start acting like it. And start feeling it.

We Say We Believe

The mouth. It’s one of the most powerful weapons we have. What we say, how we say it… it can wound someone else for the rest of their life.

We say we believe in God.

We say we love God.

We go to church and we sing praise songs with our hands in the air.

And then we turn around and wound someone in our own family with our words. We don’t even look back. We don’t even regret. We just lash out with little thought to the damage our words cause.

We get too “me-focused.”

THEY should have known better. THEY needed to hear that. THEY should get over it. THEY, THEY, THEY.  With little to no responsibility taken on our own shoulders.

But…we DO believe, we rationalize.

How can we say we believe in a God, that we don’t try to be like? 

Our belief needs to go deeper. Further.

When we believe in something, or someone – it should come out in how we speak and act. So that belief should play itself out in how we treat others.

It can be so easy to treat strangers better than we treat our own family, at times. After all, a family member can’t walk out on us. (In theory). A family member is stuck with us for life. And we are comfortable to truly speak our minds with them. But – it is our family members who should get our deepest love and loyalty. For they ALSO see us at our worst. They see every flaw – not just the good face we put on for others. And they still love us. Still accept us. Still BELIEVE in us.

Yes, that’s what belief does. That’s what God does for us. And if we say we believe in Him, it’s what we should also do for others. Not just strangers, but our siblings, our parents, our friends.

Treasure their hearts. Treat them with care. Speak in love. Show them they matter to us. Because HE matters to us.

Not Enough of Me, To Go Around

Some days it just seems like there’s not enough of “me” to go around.

I love to love on others. I try to always give my best and BE my best. But there are just some seasons where I feel like I’m always letting someone down. I feel like there’s not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do, be who I want to be, love on who I want to love on.

And I hate that.

I hate feeling like I need to have two of “me.” I hate feeling behind on things. And if I don’t feel behind on things, I feel behind on taking care of myself and my own emotions and needs.

I’m learning, though. I’m learning that there will never be enough of me to go around. I’m learning that I WILL always disappoint someone – and sometimes, that someone will be ME. Sometimes it will be important to put someone else’s needs and soul ahead of my own. But I need to be aware and recognize, when it’s time to tend to myself. For I can’t give anyone anything, if I’m not giving myself some love too.

I still get a little stressed in these seasons. I want there to be enough of me to go around. But most of the time, I’m learning to make peace with it. I do what I can do. Give what I can give. And be the best me that I can be. Even if that’s not enough for others.

It’s the best I can do. The best I can be. And that has to be enough.

It's Not ALL About You... But Sometimes a Little Bit About You

“It’s not about you.” We hear that so often. And it’s true.  We shouldn’t be “me” focused, in this life. Those who give to others, love on others, and focus on bettering other people’s lives and making a lasting impact for good… they are happier.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t need anything. It doesn’t mean we are content to be ignored.

For everyone needs love.  And everyone needs to feel valued.

Everyone craves touch.  An encouraging word.  Someone to notice them.

Some of us may not need it as much as others; but we all need it.

We need each other.

So, although it’s important to not get caught up in our own crisis, problems, and our own little world – it’s also important to have a support system, people we can talk to, and those who will invest in us.

No one should go through life all alone.

We can thrive on giving and loving; but an empty well still needs to get filled up from time to time. And we can empty ourselves into others so much, that we don’t notice when we start feeling dry, until we’re already there.  And as good as we can be at listening to positive speeches, reading motivating words, or relaxing… we still need others to recharge us and invest into our lives.  We need to know that we matter!

So, if you are a giver – good for you. I bet you have a content heart and life. But allow others to give to YOU once in awhile.  If only for your soul. 

We all need to feel loved in addition to loving on others. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be encouraged.  Make changes in your life, if needed, to make sure that you get that emotional connection that your heart craves from time to time.

You may be surprised. Sometimes we think everyone already has all the friends they need in their lives. But, most people always have room in their lives to love and be loved on by a new friend. Invite them in.  Open your heart.

And get that well filled up.

It’s NOT all about you. But sometimes, it’s a little bit about you.

Do You See Goodness In Yourself?

Sometimes, when we have dealt with great hurt and pain, we take it out on ourselves. It’s a way of punishing ourselves. Even if it wasn’t our own mistakes that we dealt with, but the choices of someone else, we can often internalize those hurts – thinking that we aren’t worth much. We somehow end up believing lies about who we are.

Over time, we can even forget where we started. We just become this person of anger, hate, coldness, and meanness.  We become what we believe ourselves to be.

It can be hard to love this kind of person. It can be hard to BE loved, if you are this person.

Life can kind of suck you into a momentum and cycle of pain. Even if you don’t want to be there, you can easily find yourself feeling out of control and at the mercy of the circumstances you’ve found yourself in.

You don’t know who you are anymore. And you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror.

All it takes is one person. One person to see into you. To tell you that you are loveable. Valuable. GOOD. That they see something in you, that even though it may be tucked deep down inside – it still exists.

And then it just takes you…. To believe them.

Even though we make mistakes in life, even though we’ve compromised and hurt others, there is still good in us. We just have to give it a chance to find its way out.

No one is beyond hope. No one is beyond help. No one is too far gone, that they can’t be loved. That they can’t be redeemed.

I think there is a part of all of us that wants to be good. To be seen as good, honorable, and worthy.  Don’t stop believing in yourself. Don’t stop believing in that “someone” you care about. Look deeper. Harder. Longer. And help them see that there is something priceless and valuable inside that is buried beneath all of the “crud” that lies on top.

Every choice can take us down a different path. And there are so many more choices to made. If you’re still breathing, there is still hope. Still time to change your course.  Still time to develop the goodness that exists in your heart.

You can do it.

I believe.

We NEED Better

We need to DO better.

We need to be better friends. Better parents. Better fighters, for what is moral and right.

We should speak up more. Speak up less. Be wiser. More understanding.

We need to be more discerning. Gentler. More compassionate.

We need to be THERE for one another. Not just in words, but in presence.

We need to strive for excellence in all we do. Go the extra mile. Persevere. Run to win the race in whatever we undertake in life.

We need to think of ourselves less, yet take care of our emotions and feelings, more.

We need to BE better.

We need to have more patience. Slow down. Laugh more.

We need to forgive more readily. Love more freely.

We need to stop taking everything so personally. Let things go. Move on.

We need to yell when things are unfair, and cheer when things are good.

We need to KNOW what is better.

Life is flying by. Slipping through our grasp. People are hurting, dying, and feeling alone. We sooo need to love better.

I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to know what’s better, and love better.

Do you?

When You Feel Like You Are Doing the “Loving,” More Than the “Being Loved”

Man, I hate disappointment. I hate it when someone lets me down. I know it will happen from time to time in life, but I still hate it when it’s my turn, or my families’ turn to experience it.

Heartache.  No fun any way you look at it.

Relationships are tricky. Emotions – overwhelming. They sneak up on you at times, and take over.

You can think something wouldn’t bother you – but then it does.

You can think you’d be brave in a certain situation, but then you’re not.

It’s the intricacies of loving and being loved.  Sometimes we feel like we are doing more of the loving, than of the “being loved.”

And boy, does it stink.

I wish I could tell you there is a way around it. I wish that I had some magical words to help you take these moments with stride.

I don’t.

For I haven’t been able to figure out how to take them in stride, myself. Not for me – and certainly not as a wife and mama; when I see my family members disappointed by others.

What I do know, is that sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some. Sometimes others bless us, and sometimes they neglect us. It’s a “spin the wheel” kind of thing. And you never know just who it will land on. The more you care for someone, the more it hurts when they are the ones who disappoint.

It can be easy for me to want to bail on someone when they disappoint me. I want to say, “I’m done.” For if they so obviously don’t care as much as I do, why invest the time? And I do believe healthy boundaries should be set in relationships so you don’t set yourself up to be hurt over and over and over again. So you don’t set yourself up to be used.

But, I also believe – no, I KNOW, that I have disappointed others. And I didn’t mean to.  I would never intentionally hurt someone else. So, maybe, I need to give others the same grace that I would like extended to me when I disappoint.

Grace.  And mercy.

I would still like to enjoy “being loved” as much as I enjoy “loving.” I would still like to be blessed, instead of neglected. But I know I can’t go through life accepting one, without the other. That’s not how it works.

So, I continue to love. And I continue to get hurt.

And I continue to live. 


That's the price of love.

There Will Always Be Someone Who Doesn't Understand You

Can you live with it if you’re never understood?  That thought occurred to me one day when I was “rationalizing” in my head how someone was never going to understand what I’m all about or what I do.

And I wish they did. But, I’ve come to accept that they may never appreciate who I really am. They may never completely understand who I am as a person, or what I do for my family, or for others.

I’ve come a long way.

There were times in life where I’d fret and toil in my heart and head over the fact that someone didn’t “get” me. Now, I understand that there will always be someone in life who DOESN’T “get” me. There will always be someone who doesn’t like me. Someone who misunderstands what I’m about.

I will be misjudged.

I don’t like it. I don’t want it. But I’m making peace with it.

I’m making peace with the fact that some people will never understand my heart and soul because I’m learning to accept myself more. I’m learning to have more peace with who I am, and I’m learning to place more value in what God thinks of me, than the world.

It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I don’t have wishes of understanding or acceptance. It simply means I’ve decided not to prioritize those thoughts in my head. I don’t want to give them space where they can tamper with something good and valuable that I’m doing (and being).

I am who God has made me to be. And I’m trying to be the best ‘me’ that there can be. That has to be enough. It has to carry me through the times when others think less of me than I’d want or prefer.

Some people may never appreciate you. They may never truly understand who you are. They may never “get” your heart. That doesn’t mean their assessment of you is right. It simply means they don’t understand. But I promise you, there WILL be people who DO understand you and DO get your heart , for God always tries to encourage our hearts when we’re doing our best to stay the course in life.

Friend, you and I will both be misjudged at times. Many more times, probably. And I’m sorry for you, for those times. But I pray that you can accept who you are enough to carry you through those frustrating moments. For you are valuable, and valued for the unique and special person that you are.

Just “be” the best “you” that you can be. Find peace in that.  I have.

To The Parent Who Wants To Hold On

When my kids were young, I never wanted to go on a trip alone with my husband because I wanted to be there to protect my little ones. When they got to be in high school, I didn’t want to go on a trip alone with my husband, because I knew time was short, and they’d be out the door before I knew it.

When my daughter was home, I’d complain to her about all the glasses she left around the kitchen. But when she was away for the first time at Christmas, all I could think, was that I wished she was home to leave those glasses around again.

This parenting thing. It’s not for the faint of heart.

You cry when they first go off to kindergarten, you cry when they first drive away with their brand new license, and you cry when they leave home.

You want to hold on. At least I do.

But you can’t. The tighter you hold on, the more they want to fly away  - never to return. So you have to swallow hard, and open the door.

It’s the hardest thing you’ll probably ever do.

But it’s a gift. We were created to do this. To hand life over to the next generation. To let part of ourselves live on in a new and exciting way. To watch our love take hold as lessons are learned in life and hopefully, our children return to the fold – nearby in some part, or merely in heart and soul.

So you let them go. And you let part of yourself go. But in the process, you learn that there is more to yourself than these beings that have taken up all of your heart and then some for 18+ years. You learn that life goes on. You learn how to think of yourself again. You become stronger.

No one will ever take those places in our heart that belong to our children. Those are precious spots that will always remain dedicated to them alone. But our hearts can grow bigger. They can learn to love on others who have empty spots inside that aren’t filled like ours are.

Part of you will always hold onto those days and moments with the best gifts God ever gave you. And that’s okay.

You are brave, dear mom and dad. You have loved deeper, wider, and further than you ever thought possible. You have invested your time, your thoughts, and your heart into making someone else’s life better. And now’s the time to see the return on your investment. So smile. Watch them go. Watch them dream, hope, learn, and grow. It’s scary. I know. But trust in the One who gave them to you. The One who loves them even more than you do. He won’t let you down. He won’t let THEM down.

It will be worth it. He will be faithful.

Sometimes You Just Have to Take a "Time-Out" From Life

Sometimes you just have to take a ‘time-out’ from life. 

I’ve been on ‘overload’ for awhile now. Getting my daughter ready to graduate from high school in June, working a part time job, planning a wedding for this Fall… and then just adding in the normal to-do’s of life.

But nobody has been telling me that I have to do it all. I’VE been the one telling ME that I have to do it all.

And I don’t. I can’t.

So, for my own well-being, I decided to say ‘no’ to some of life’s requests.

I didn’t go to this last session of Bible Study.

I told myself “no” to going to some blogger events that have come up in the last couple of months.

I’ve forced myself to relax some days – even though there was laundry and other chores to be done.

It has helped soo much! Lightening my load a little bit helped me focus on what truly was a priority and it has helped me start to get the rest that my body has been craving.

Life doesn’t stop altogether. But, you can quit for awhile on the things that don’t matter quite as much.

Sometimes you just have to say ‘no’ to the chores, and watch a movie. Put something aside and play a family game, or go on a walk.

It’s needed. For sanity. For clarity. For refreshment.

There will always be a list of things that need to get done. There will always be someone who wants something from us. But we are merely human. Our energy is not limitless. 

We need breaks. Time-outs. Time to be alone. Time to rest.

I feel strongly about following through on commitments and keeping your word. But there are times in life, where it might just matter a little bit more to focus on staying in tune with your own heart and soul. And to do that, you have to have to be given the time to hear them.

You are the only you that ever will be. So don’t forget to take care of that YOU that can get worn out once in awhile.

Take just a brief ‘time-out’ once in awhile.  Make yourself the focus and priority – so that you can fully be in the moment of your commitments – giving others the priority they deserve, as well.

Instead of "Big," Go "Small!"

Life is like a whirlwind sometimes. It feels like you’re on this ride and you just can’t jump off. You can’t “stop” things long enough to pause, and reflect. At least – that’s how it feels, sometimes.

I know the ‘season’ of “fast.” The season that shouts at me to keep up. These are the seasons that overwhelm me. Everything seems to be needed “now.” And I try to shout back, “I’m only one person!” I don’t feel like I can possibly do it all, be it all, plus enjoy it in the process.

I’ve learned over the years what overwhelms me. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s the “Big” that overwhelms me. When I have to come up with that HUGE dinner for a large group, or I have to get 20 gifts for the holiday. “Big.”

I’ve learned though – that I can handle these situations, if I divide them up into smaller chunks of demands. “Small” is doable for me.  If I can get 2 gifts done this week instead of focusing on the 20 I need overall, it’s more manageable. If I have part of a meal pre-made, then there is less to prepare for.

Doable.

Life IS demanding. It asks a lot of us. And on our own, we each ARE only one individual person. We can only do so much on our own.  But sometimes we forget that we don’t have to do it all. We don’t have to always go for “big” and “grand.” Sometimes an easy and quick meal means just as much, because people are together making a memory – and that’s what really matters.  Sometimes we try to outdo ourselves in order to create lavish memories. But it’s not the decorations that people need to remember. It’s the love, the kindness, the time spent together that is important.

We rush about enough as it is. If we can slow down and enjoy what we are doing, how much more meaningful life will be for not just us, but those around us.

It doesn’t have to be “big.” It doesn’t have to be over-the-top gorgeous. We don’t have to spend all our money. We can do simple. Easy. “Small.” And still pay attention to details, preferences, and the heart of those we love.

Love doesn’t have a pricetag. Or a size.

Ask any mom if she prefers store-bought flowers over a handmade card from her kids filled with words of love. And she’ll tell you.

So when the world says – “GO BIG!” Instead, go “small.” And see which one is the real winner.

I Did My Best

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a very good parent. I try. I try SO HARD. I try to be intentional in the lessons I’ve taught my kids over the years. I try to be intentional in the generosity, the “I’m sorry’s,” the importance of church and moral influences, and in the joy, peace, and ‘rightness’ that comes with having faith in God.

I’ve tried to be fun. I’ve tried to be a good listener. I’ve tried to give my kids space when they needed it – yet let them know I’m always available, and there for them.

And yet, I know I’ve failed miserably on so many occasions at so many things. I’ve yelled and lost my cool. I’ve shared something with a friend or family member when I should have tucked their privacy inside of my heart and kept it safe there. I’ve embarrassed my kids. Said the wrong thing. Been too clingy. Been too harsh. Been too emotional. Not listened enough when they were trying to share. Hurt their feelings.

So I’ve tried. And I’ve failed.

But I’ve also tried, and succeeded. At times.

Only God knows if all my prayers on bended knee or in my children’s rooms will come to fruition.

Only time will tell if my kids can see beyond those mistakes and mess-ups, to the heart that beat only for them for so many years.

I so wish I could have gotten it all right. I wish I could have known the exact times when I needed to speak up, and when I needed to be quiet.

But I did my best.

I tried to soak it all in, for I knew the years would fly by. And fly by, they have.

I tried to navigate it all. Every curve in life, every heartbreak, and every change. I tried to let my kids be who God created them to be and let them make their own mistakes. Oh, how hard it’s been to do that on certain days!

But I did my best.

I put myself out there. Every day. To be judged, criticized, assessed, and rejected.

And yet I hoped, as all moms do. That the seasons and phases of life would change, and those same judgments and assessments would one day be seen in a different light. With a different heart.

For I always gave my best. I did my best. And I loved the best way I knew how. With every inch of my being.

Flawed or not, wrong-timing or not -  it was all of me. All of my heart and soul.

All of my best.

My kids deserved nothing less.

The Ordinary - Can Become The Treasured

Sometimes in the routine and hustle of life, we can miss the ordinary, common moments that will be so special in our hearts and minds for years to come.

My daughter was singing in the bathroom recently, before school, and I thought about how I’m going to miss hearing that singing in the mornings the day when she leaves home.  It’s something I’ve enjoyed for years, but never gave a lot of thought to how something so regular, would become something so treasured, down the line.

I can honestly say that I think I will feel the same way about my other daughter’s messy room. It already makes me smile instead of scowl, like it used to. She is my “creative–messy,” - that one. I know one day, that room will be spotless…. And empty. And I will miss her mess.

Life. It’s what we make of it.  What may seem ordinary, routine, or even an inconvenience at times, can end up becoming something that makes us smile.  For there really is no boring and ordinary life. Life is all a gift. An intricate gift; complex at times, but unique, special, and worth celebrating all the same.

Photography often shows us this special way of looking at something that might otherwise seem mundane. A stunning soft-focused shot through leveler blinds on the window. A pet sleeping on the couch. A steaming cup of hot soup. Dirt-riddled hands and feet on a toddler that has enjoyed play in the out-of-doors.   

Moments. You can almost smell and taste them.

ALL of life is special. All of life is a gift.

Please don’t ever take it for granted. Not the slow moments, the quiet ones, or the ones filled with noise and hustle-and-bustle. It all carries with it, its’ own beauty.

Beauty of life.

Remember, Often

I like to remember things in my past – often. I like to play them over in my head and in my heart. Not because they were more meaningful than my today, but because they helped form, shape, and mold, MY today. They helped form and shape ME!

I continue to move on in life. Hopefully grow and better myself along the way. But I take the memories of yesterday along with me. I unpack them from time to time, to remind myself of several things.

1.     I choose to remember, often, what my God has done for me. He is SO faithful. He has answered so many prayer requests. Loved me through so many challenges and mistakes. Given me strength when I felt so weak and given me peace when I felt in turmoil. He has walked with me, and before me. And I choose to remember, to remind myself to have faith in my today. To know that the same God who was faithful to me yesterday and years ago, will be faithful in my today, as well.

2.     I choose to remember, often, of the love I share with my husband. To remind myself of the man I first fell in love with. The man who thought I was worth fighting for. I like to remember those sparkly, magical feelings of being “in love,” to insert into the ‘many-years-gone-by-familiar-commitment-and-love’ days. When routine and business discussions are common, I choose to remember different days, and moments that I know will come again. They give me hope. They renew my love. They invigorate my commitment.

3.     I choose to remember, often, those special moments in life that made a dent in my heart and soul. These times truly crafted the person and woman I am today. Whether it was the death of a beloved, a priceless moment with my children, or some other monumental moment – I choose to remember the blessings of life. The gifts that I’ve been given. Even through the hard and bad times, these moments are forever etched within me. It would be foolish to forget them – to never learn and grow from them.

4.     I choose to remember, often, with physical reminders and mementos. Material things have their place, but they wrap my home in legacy. Whether it’s pictures, souvenirs from trips, or special gifts given in love – I choose to remember by hanging onto them and keeping them where I can see them often.

Life is a gift. ALL of life. The good and the bad. I think it’s important to remember it, often. As you get older, there is more of life to remember. It’s ok to revisit it. Laugh again, cry again, and ponder.

Let those yesterdays do the work in you that they were meant to do.

Remember, often. And let those memories complete the picture of who you are, WHY you are, where you come from, and what you’re going to do with what you’ve been given.

Our memories are personal. And they are there to be enjoyed. You only get one life. Remember it well.

Stopping Emotions From Becoming Tornadoes

A woman’s emotions. Those emotions that fuel our decisions, choices, and attitudes on any given day.

Those same emotions don’t just affect the choices we make, but they affect our whole family.

Storms and tirades of anger spewed out – radiate throughout our home and land on our precious loved children at times.  Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, depression, or discouragement rake through as well.

It can be so hard to contain those feelings… those emotions that surge through us.

I don’t know about you, but I feel horrible anytime I look at the aftermath of a ‘lost’ emotion going astray and having its way on my kids or my spouse. But “after” is always too late to do something about it. If only I could have controlled myself in the process!

How can we keep our attitudes in check? How can we spare our families’ the pain of being in our warpath, at the wrong time or place?

There are many ways you can motivate and inspire yourself. There are things you CAN do to set boundaries up ahead of time, to keep you on a more ‘level’ path, so that you don’t explode.

~ You can put inspirational quotes, thoughts, or scripture verses up and around the house where you see them. If anger is an issue, put a verse near your kitchen sink or bathroom mirror that speaks specifically on holding the tongue. Find verses or quotes that speak specifically to the emotion you are struggling with. (Hobby Lobby has great quotes on metal that you can purchase for $10 or less and place in your home as encouragement).

~ Have your family members or good friends gently give you a signal when they sense you are getting a little edgy. Maybe “dad” needs to step in and take over for you at bedtime with the kiddos. Maybe it’s a hug given for no reason – but bring them in on things and allow them to step through the process with you.

~ Pray! Pray together with your husband. With your kids. Pray on your knees, or while you shower or wash the dishes. Pray. Pray often.

~Join a Bible Study or small group. Sometimes having a ‘commitment’ that forces you to have some quiet time, or an outlet to share your feelings is truly all that is needed. It’s like letting that boiling steam out of the kettle. It’s an outlet.

~ Get more rest. Set your alarm while the kids are at school and take a short nap. Go to bed early, if possible, or sleep in later on the weekend while your spouse tends to the morning routine. Rest is vital in maintaining focus.

~ Go on a walk. Go with your spouse, or take your whole family. The little ones can ride in the stroller and bigger ones can walk or take their bikes. But there is something about being out in the fresh air, while exercising, that breathes much needed calmness into the brain.

Whatever tactic you use to guide you and to help you balance your emotions – let it be something that encourages you and inspires you as you learn to change your emotional habits.

Being a mom is grueling at times - with no escape or breaks.  Finding a system to help you process anger, frustration, or stress, is not just smart, but it will be a lifesaver to you during the extra difficult times. You will find you’re able to handle things more how you’d like to handle them – instead of letting your emotions take over all of the time.

Emotions aren’t bad. They are just signals that something is going on a little bit deeper. Listen to those signals and tame the tornado that can devastate a precious heart – without you even meaning to let it happen.

What If You Knew This Moment Might Never Come Again?

If you knew it would be the last time you’d cradle your child as they fell asleep in your arms… how much longer would you hold them?

If you knew, that it would be the last time you’d see that dear older man’s smile… would you stay in his company just a bit longer?

If you knew that you’d never again be that size 3 after you have kids… would you enjoy your waist a little more and relax a lot more often?

What if you knew?

What if you knew that you’d never again get to cuddle with your sweet cat, because they would get hit by a car?

What if you knew that your finances would change and this would be the last time you and your husband would get to enjoy a fine steak dinner?

What if you knew?

Moments are brief. So many only come once.

Some people in your life will only ever get to hug you one time. Some moments of laughter will only be shared once. Same as moments of grief.

Just once.

Other moments come occasionally, but special moments change them forever. That ONE Christmas, that ONE hospital visit, that ONE ‘goodbye.’

Moments lost forever.

How would we change how we live if we knew a moment would never come again? If we knew we’d never have another chance to hug, kiss, or touch someone dear? Would we speak kinder if we knew our words only had one chance to stay forever with another soul?

Would we be less rushed, if we knew it would be the last night our kids would ever confide their hearts’ to us? Or let us tuck them in? Or even hold their hand?

Life goes by so quickly. So fast.

We have choices. Every day. Every minute. To truly live and love and soak in those around us as much as we possibly can without wasting the time that ticks by; escaping our notice, so often.

We will often be caught unaware and by surprise at the “last moments” with someone in life. We will often miss those treasured minutes that we took for granted – like rocking our baby, combing our child’s hair, and more.

We can’t go back, but we can carry them with us while trying to remember that each day is a gift. Each moment with someone – a precious present.

If we knew this moment would never come again, would we make a different choice? Say a different word? Be a different person?

What if?

It's Ok to Fail. That's How You Grow.

I can be very hard on myself when I mess up or make mistakes. I know I’m not perfect, but it can be hard for me to swallow embarrassment or moments that I call “failures.”

I try to do my best. My best at being a mom. A wife. And a woman. I try to keep my home in order, so struggle when someone runs out of underwear and I’m behind on laundry. I try to be involved in my kids’ lives, so feel disappointed when they don’t want me there or I can’t be there.

Moms – can you relate?

But I’m learning. I’m learning that trying to be ALL to everyone is futile. It’s frazzling.

No one is perfect. Certainly not me. Not those celebrity moms who are back to their pre-baby weight a week after birth. No one.

It’s good to hold ourselves to certain standards. But some standards are too far out of reach. It’s impossible to go through life and not fail at some point.  If we can allow ourselves the freedom to make mistakes from time to time, and fail at things along the way – oh – how liberating!

We will gain so much more out of our journeys by learning to ask for help occasionally, and giving ourselves that freedom to not be perfect, than we will ever gain by stressing ourselves out trying to be something or someone we’re not.

Our families’ will be able to enjoy our presence more, as well as relax more. We will be happier as we learn to laugh at the missteps, and grow and become better from the learned lessons.

Failure may seem like a bad word. But it can be a stepping-stone to better things in our lives if we aren’t so afraid of it.

That’s how you grow.