Wednesday, April 22, 2015

"What Could She Possibly Understand About Pain And Struggle?"

I’m not sure what others think about me as they read the words I write. I try to be transparent in the lessons I’m learning in life. I try to be authentic about my own shortcomings. I am very, very far from being a perfect person.

I try to be positive. And in that ‘gleaning’ of something good out of a lesson or life, I often wonder what others think of me as they read the words I write. If others might think I could never possibly understand what it’s like to live life in their shoes. To hurt. To be frustrated. To struggle.

It’s not that I live a charmed life. I live a real one. But I choose to see the blessings God has given me in that life. Not because I think I get more blessings than someone else – but because I’ve seen and felt times where there WAS pain, hardship, and struggle. So the blessings are very apparent to me – very coveted.

If you find yourself questioning and thinking that maybe I think I walk a better path in life than you, that I never have hardships, or could never love, understand, or care about someone who constantly deals with issues – let me change your opinion.  For I HAVE hurt. And I HAVE struggled. I still do.

I have dealt with death and loss. Cancer. Suicide. Plane crashes. Heart attacks. These have been a part of my life.

I have struggled. As a stepmom. As a wife. As a friend. I have let people down. I have said things I regret. I have been immature. I have hurt my children’s feelings, and they have hurt mine. I have hurt my husband’s feelings, and he has hurt mine. I’m human.

I have dealt with health issues. I don’t need to rattle off every thing I’ve been dealt with – but just a few are heart irregularities, kidney stones, reflux, anxiety, bursitis, bad posture, teeth issues. No one is perfect. I know what it feels like to be frustrated.

I have been on food stamps.  I’ve only had $20 at the end of a payday. I’ve lost money and I’ve wasted money. I know what it’s like to not have enough, and to have more than you need.

I’ve been misunderstood. Judged. Ignored. Laughed at. Talked about.

Yet, God is faithful. He’s walked through everything with me. My mistakes. My mess-ups. My challenges. And He HAS blessed me. I live a blessed life. Some things I’ve overcome, some things… I still struggle with.

So, I may not know EXACTLY what you are feeling and going through – but I do know what it feels like to hurt, to be sad, to feel lost, and to be discouraged and frustrated. But I also know what it feels like to walk over to the other side of those things. To see victory. Praise. Blessing.

And that perspective humbles me. It shapes me. It touches me.

Please don’t ever think that I live a charmed life with no obstacles or hurdles to overcome. No one lives that kind of life. NO ONE.

I may choose to look at the positive, the bright side… the blessings. But that’s only because I know what it feels like to feel the hurt and pain. And I’m thankful to not always sit in those moments. To sit in new ones – redeemed ones.

We are all in this walk of life together. TOGETHER.

Know that you are never alone.

And that you are loved. In whatever season you find yourself in.

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