Tuesday, May 10, 2016

I Like "Me"

I’ve never been one to have a “thick skin.”  I think I was born knowing how to empathize with others… knowing what they must be feeling…and feeling it with them.

I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve. I take everything in my life personally, because I invest everything I am, personally INTO everything that I come across.

But, as I’ve grown up, I’ve had to change a little bit. I haven’t lost who I am. I still have a deep instinct and perception on others, that rarely leads me wrong. I still relish having empathy as a strong quality in my heart.  But, I’ve had to develop a little bit more thickness in that skin of mine.

I’ve been criticized. Judged. Mislabeled. My thoughts, feelings, and actions, at times, have been delved into. They’ve been questioned.

I’ve always said, that if someone truly knows your character and heart, they have no need to question you. Ever. They know where you are coming from.  But it’s been new for me, to learn, that not everyone knows where I’m coming from. And not only that, they don’t care to know.

Some people just see things from their own perspective and viewpoint – and that’s the only one they believe in. The only one they ever care to know.

I think it’s been a gift for me, to learn how to let some things go, yet still remain soft and compassionate. It’s certainly been a challenge! For hurts can so easily turn into bitterness. I don’t have it perfected, but I’m learning to sift the thoughts of others into file boxes, that I keep in my heart and mind. Those boxes are sorted, based on the weight and input I believe they should have on my character.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand, why some people won’t understand me. For I’m so transparent. I’m so human.

If I give, some people will always want me to give more.

If I love, someone will always want me to love bigger, better, and more often.

If I get more thoughtful, someone will always want me to share what is only meant to be between me, and God.

If I have a good day, or a bad day, someone will always judge my actions as a result.

It’s life. It’s people.

It’s certainly a process. A unique road to learning more about myself, and more about others.

It all comes down to the plain fact, I am who I am. God made me this way. And the way He made me as a child….has morphed, adjusted, tweaked, and grown into who I am as an adult.

And I LIKE ME. I’m not perfect. I’m extremely flawed.  But, I like me.

Even if someone else never quite gets the “me” they want to get.

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