Thursday, May 5, 2016

Things Aren't Always Fair

One of the hardest lessons I’ve been having to learn in life, is that things aren’t always fair.

When we moved from Idaho to Texas, and a bunch of our furniture was scratched or ruined – we had to let it go. Even though it wasn’t fair.

When I sat and watched my daughter sit on the sidelines in volleyball, even though other girls’ were messing up time and time again, and playing the whole game? I had to come to terms with the fact that things just wouldn’t be fair.

When, most recently, the photographer at my daughter’s wedding “lost” all of our family photos, and other important shots… to be gone forever? I had to swallow, feel “sick” about not having family wedding shots on my daughter’s wedding day – and let it go. Even though it wasn’t fair.

Someone can’t always make things right for us, when something unfair happens. The photographer could offer money back, a free album, canvas… whatever. But the special day was done. Gone. Family had been in and flown out. Nothing would make up for what was lost.

So many of us feel like we are treated unfairly, so often in life. And you know what? We are.

My girls are treated unfairly when they have to be punished with their whole class, even though they weren’t involved in something.

My husband may be treated unfairly at work. I may be treated unfairly in friendships. Whatever it is, it happens. And it will happen again. It is one of life’s biggest, and hardest lessons to learn.

We have to learn to let things go. We have to learn to move on. We have to learn, and we have to grow in these times. It does us no good to sit in them, and wallow in the “unfairness” of it all. And believe me, some things are extraordinarily unfair!

I know, that as I have learned to embrace moving on, just a little bit more, through each circumstance, I am happier. I am more at peace. I am more understanding of mistakes we all make in life. And I am more appreciative of what I have and who I have, in my life.

Things ARE unfair. You WILL be treated unfairly. It’s life. It’s the way it has always been, and the way it always will be.  The biggest question is, what will we do in those moments? And how will we move on from those times?

I hope we move on softer, gentler, and more thankful people. Not because of the unfairness of it all, but because of how we can now understand how it feels for others, when they too, are in those moments.  And knowing how it feels, makes us stronger.  Better. And more loving.

I’d choose those any day, over being bitter. 

No comments: