Wednesday, September 3, 2014

When You Don't Have Someone To Do Something Special For You

Not everyone is blessed with close girlfriends. Not everyone has family in town that stands in the gap for you when you’re sick or hurting. Not everyone has a spouse who thinks ahead to do thoughtful things for them.

Today, I’m thinking of these people. These precious souls who sometimes feel so lonely. These tender hearts who long for someone to do something out of the blue for them – just because.

Not everyone has someone in their life who makes them feel special. I wish we all did, but we don’t.  Some are left wanting, wishing, hoping, and longing for those gestures of value, love, and recognition in their lives.

I know it must be so hard to get online and see pictures of other women celebrating with their girlfriends on their birthdays. I know it may seem like everyone else has a close network of love and support….but you.  But I promise you, that’s not the case. In fact, I’d bet that those of you who are lonely and wanting special friends in your life, are in the majority – not the minority.

Everyone needs someone. Everyone wants someone in their lives whom their heart can feel safe with and who they can call up in the middle of the night, when an emergency rises. Or even if there IS no emergency; it’s nice to know that someone is there in case you needed to call!

I’ve been in seasons of feeling like I didn’t have someone. I’m sure most people have. Luckily for me, they were short-lived. But here is what I did to survive it and what you can do too.

1) Pray, and grow closer to God. God is the ONE friend who will never leave your side. He longs to do special things for you on a daily basis and He longs for you to feel your value! Look for Him. Bare your heart and soul to HIM. And find that hole in your heart close, as He fills it with His love and His presence, while you wait for someone else to draw near to you.

2) Reach out – instead of in.  Every time I give to others and give of my time to others, I feel better about myself. I feel more loved and I have more love to give. There is always someone out there who has a need, and always someone who needs what you have to give them. Offer it. We always have love to give.

3) Do something special for yourself!  I know one birthday where I was feeling sorry for myself and I decided to pamper and treat myself to a special day. You know what? It worked! You don’t have to wait for someone else to come along in your life to do something special for you. Yes, we need one another, but until that support system comes along – do things for yourself and love on yourself a little bit. Get a pedicure, buy a new pair of earrings, go to a movie you’ve been wanting to see. Indulge in your favorite ice cream, or take the day off and read all day instead of doing chores!  We don’t need other people to say we are valuable – God has already told us that. So treat yourself like it!

I truly hope and pray that someone comes into your life who will love you just as you are.  Someone who will do thoughtful things for you – just because. Someone who makes you feel the valued person whom you are.  But in the meantime, take the actions needed to remind yourself that you are special – even if no one else is around to tell you that.


Snippet said...

What a great post. I'm one of those lonely people - divorced, retired and kids have moved away. I know God is with me but I so long for a human vonnection. I have a few acquaintances but none are close. I feel so empty at times. But I know and thank the Lord for his love.

Dionna said...

Carol - I am so sorry you are feeling such loneliness in your life right now. I'm sorry for your emptiness. Keep looking for that human connection you crave. Until it comes, try filling that void with doing something for others. I promise, it will help.