Everything You Do, Says Something About Who You Are

Everything I do, says something about who I am.

When I play a game, I can’t just cheat and then say, “it was just a game.” No – how I play that game says a lot about my character and values.

The same is true for my work ethic on the job, my honesty with money, how I treat others while I’m driving – and even, how often I go to church, or in what condition I leave my table in, at a restaurant.

EVERYTHING, that you and I do – reflects on who we are, what we believe about others, and about ourselves.

We may think a lot of the things we do, don’t matter in the grander scheme of things in life. We may think no one is watching, or that someone else deserves our reaction, or attitude. But the thing is – it’s not about THEM. It’s about US.

Who I am, matters to me. It matters to my spouse. It matters to my kids and my friends. And it matters to my Lord.

Companies are now checking into social media accounts like twitter and facebook to see how someone carries themselves. Drunk photos? Swearing in your statuses? Badmouthing someone else? You may not get the job. Because WHO YOU ARE MATTERS.

We never just represent ourselves. We always represent someone else, as well as ourselves. Our parents. Our faith. Our employer. Our church. Our city.

We matter.  We matter because we are valuable.  We are worth something.  Shouldn’t we start acting like it? Shouldn’t we start BELIEVING it?

Dress – like you matter.

Carry yourself – like you matter.

Speak – like you matter.

For everything you do, and everything you are, matters.  Whether you feel forgotten, overlooked, or ignored – you matter.

Start believing it. Start acting like it. And start feeling it.

Relationships Need Room To Breathe

Relationships. They add such lifeblood to our lives. The laughter and tears that we share with those close to us…. Bonds us forever.

The thing is, we make relationships tricky, when they shouldn’t be. We place expectations on others that are impossible to be met. We pressure those we love to react, adhere, and BE, how we think they should be. We smother. We judge.

Oh, what a mess.

If we could only relax.

Just because we ask someone a question, it doesn’t mean they are obligated to answer.

Just because we have expectations of someone, doesn’t mean they have to fill them.

And just because we love a certain way, doesn’t mean someone else has to love a certain way.

Everyone is different. Some people need more room and space to live life, than others do. Some people need to talk everything out. The dynamics are fascinating when you put different personalities and character traits into one friendship, one marriage, or one family.

Relationships need room to breathe. People need space to be different than you or I. They need to be given the freedom to think differently than we do, love differently, and respond to life’s events – DIFFERENTLY.

We need to respect that. Or we will never understand others; and they won’t ever understand us.

We can choke and smother others to death in the quest to be and act how we think they should, OR, we can give them the room and freedom to live life freely on their own terms, while loving them from where we stand. One choice brings much more joy into a relationship than the other!

Let’s just love each other and enjoy each other when we’re together. When we talk. Let’s not beat each other up over what or how something isn’t done. There is enough pressure and stress in life without us putting it on each other.

Don’t you think?

Someone Is Fighting For You

Some days it can be hard to feel noticed. Some days, let’s admit it, we feel alone. Not valued. Ignored.

I think of all the people I’m currently praying for. And I think of all the people I HAVE prayed for in the past. I think of the people who have told me that they have prayed for me. And this one thing I know – SOMEONE IS FIGHTING FOR YOU through prayer.

I know we all struggle with self esteem, and value at times. But I also know, that there have been people who have cared enough to pray for you. They’ve prayed when you’ve asked, and they’ve probably cared enough to pray for you when you DIDN’T ask. Because they love you.

There are people in your life, and in my life, who pray for us specifically, and unspecifically. They pray because they know of challenges and struggles in our life, and they pray because God prompts them to.

I know that if you are a child, chances are so great, that your parents, grandparents, or aunts and uncles have fought for you through prayer. Maybe they’ve physically fought for you, as well. But they’ve fought for your future… for your life.

If you live in a neighborhood, go to work, are involved in a small group, or have friendships – I’m betting that someone in your circle has brought you before the Lord in prayer. They have waged a battle on your behalf – out of their love, care, and concern for you.

We may feel alone some days. We may feel neglected. Maybe we don’t feel like we are anything special. We wonder, “why me?”  But I’m here to tell you, that you are cared for. You are thought of. It may have been by me. I’ve prayed for classmates, workmates, friends, family members, people in the news, people in the government, names of friends of friends who are concerned – and more. And, you may not have been prayed for by me, but by someone else. But you have most likely been prayed for – at least once – by someone who cared for you.

Let that digest a little bit. Let that sink in.  Someone thought of you. Someone prayed for you. And they may even be doing it now. Today.

You are wanted. You are needed. You are loved.

And someone is fighting for you.

When We Give In

I can be a very stubborn person. I don’t like to “give in” if I feel very strongly about my stance, view, or position on something. But over time, I’ve been learning a few very important lessons about “giving in.”

“Giving In” doesn’t necessarily mean I was wrong and the other person was right. Sometimes, it means that I value the relationship more than I value my position of having to feel and “be” right.  It may mean I’m choosing to pick my battles and this particular one wasn’t as hefty as I know some others might be. But it doesn’t mean I was wrong.

“Giving In” doesn’t mean that I’m weak. Like I said, I can be stubborn. I can hold onto my pride if I feel I might be embarrassed, humiliated, or look foolish.  So at times, “giving in” can be the last thing I want to do. But sometimes you have to “give in” for the sake of sanity. For the sake of your emotional and physical well-being. For the sake of relationships.  You have to choose your priorities. I need to realize that I can swallow my pride more easily, than I can repair a broken relationship. I’m learning, that it takes greater strength to “give in,” at times, than it does to hold my ground. Holding our ground can be easy; but to make a choice we wouldn’t prefer or would rather not do? That takes greater strength. And greater love.

“Giving In’ doesn’t mean I’m giving up.  It means I value something greater.  Of course not every situation should demand that I “give up.” If something is morally or legally wrong, I should always stand firm in what I value and believe. If someone could be in danger? Never “give in” to hiding it.  But normally, life asks me to “give in” on a smaller scale. Those issues may be very important to me, but are not life-altering for someone.

We dig our feet in so many times, in life. We can be selfish and stubborn in the quest for someone to simply acknowledge “we were right.” But in the end, “rightness” doesn’t always win. Sometimes you have to let something go, for the ability to simply be able, to move on in life. To get past it and to grow.

You can still be strong. You can still be compassionate. You can still be “right.” But by “giving in,” you can now, also, move forward. And sometimes, that is what is needed the most.

We Get Hung Up On the "But's...."

We are “hard-to-please” people.  We desire, wish for, and want things in our lives. But then when we get them, they often don’t seem to be perfect for us. They should have come sooner, lasted longer, had different people involved in them.

We get hung up on the “but’s.”

“But…. God, if only I would have moved here 3 years ago!”

“But…. I had to give up this, in order to get that.”

“But…..it didn’t last long enough.”

We are thankful, BUT, not thankful enough.

We are happy, BUT, not happy enough.

There is always something missing. Something “more” we wish would have been added to the picture.

It’s not enough for us, that we get answers to prayer, because they don’t measure up to what our expectations of them were.

Oh, how ungrateful, and how unthankful we can be!

I’ve caught myself, many times, saying, “But….” And yes, I did feel the feelings and thoughts of those very “but’s.” I do wish some things were different. Stronger. Longer. Gentler. More beautiful.  But I do not want to diminish the gift they already are! I do not want to think so much on what didn’t come with my answered prayer, that I fail to see what did!

A “but,” is only our refusal to accept what is. It’s our denial and stubbornness at play. It’s our pride.

God does SO much for us. He sends us jobs, money, friendships, healed relationships, new homes, and sooo much more. His timing and His ways are perfect. So we can forget about wishing that our answered prayers had come sooner, lasted longer, or arrived in a different package. They are just how God wants them to be for us.

Perfect.

May we stop getting hung up on those “but’s…..” in our lives. They only interfere with our joy and blessings. 

Let’s notice them when they come, and stop them in their tracks. Before they start arriving too often.

It's Not ALL About You... But Sometimes a Little Bit About You

“It’s not about you.” We hear that so often. And it’s true.  We shouldn’t be “me” focused, in this life. Those who give to others, love on others, and focus on bettering other people’s lives and making a lasting impact for good… they are happier.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t need anything. It doesn’t mean we are content to be ignored.

For everyone needs love.  And everyone needs to feel valued.

Everyone craves touch.  An encouraging word.  Someone to notice them.

Some of us may not need it as much as others; but we all need it.

We need each other.

So, although it’s important to not get caught up in our own crisis, problems, and our own little world – it’s also important to have a support system, people we can talk to, and those who will invest in us.

No one should go through life all alone.

We can thrive on giving and loving; but an empty well still needs to get filled up from time to time. And we can empty ourselves into others so much, that we don’t notice when we start feeling dry, until we’re already there.  And as good as we can be at listening to positive speeches, reading motivating words, or relaxing… we still need others to recharge us and invest into our lives.  We need to know that we matter!

So, if you are a giver – good for you. I bet you have a content heart and life. But allow others to give to YOU once in awhile.  If only for your soul. 

We all need to feel loved in addition to loving on others. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be encouraged.  Make changes in your life, if needed, to make sure that you get that emotional connection that your heart craves from time to time.

You may be surprised. Sometimes we think everyone already has all the friends they need in their lives. But, most people always have room in their lives to love and be loved on by a new friend. Invite them in.  Open your heart.

And get that well filled up.

It’s NOT all about you. But sometimes, it’s a little bit about you.

We NEED Better

We need to DO better.

We need to be better friends. Better parents. Better fighters, for what is moral and right.

We should speak up more. Speak up less. Be wiser. More understanding.

We need to be more discerning. Gentler. More compassionate.

We need to be THERE for one another. Not just in words, but in presence.

We need to strive for excellence in all we do. Go the extra mile. Persevere. Run to win the race in whatever we undertake in life.

We need to think of ourselves less, yet take care of our emotions and feelings, more.

We need to BE better.

We need to have more patience. Slow down. Laugh more.

We need to forgive more readily. Love more freely.

We need to stop taking everything so personally. Let things go. Move on.

We need to yell when things are unfair, and cheer when things are good.

We need to KNOW what is better.

Life is flying by. Slipping through our grasp. People are hurting, dying, and feeling alone. We sooo need to love better.

I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to know what’s better, and love better.

Do you?

When You Feel Like You Are Doing the “Loving,” More Than the “Being Loved”

Man, I hate disappointment. I hate it when someone lets me down. I know it will happen from time to time in life, but I still hate it when it’s my turn, or my families’ turn to experience it.

Heartache.  No fun any way you look at it.

Relationships are tricky. Emotions – overwhelming. They sneak up on you at times, and take over.

You can think something wouldn’t bother you – but then it does.

You can think you’d be brave in a certain situation, but then you’re not.

It’s the intricacies of loving and being loved.  Sometimes we feel like we are doing more of the loving, than of the “being loved.”

And boy, does it stink.

I wish I could tell you there is a way around it. I wish that I had some magical words to help you take these moments with stride.

I don’t.

For I haven’t been able to figure out how to take them in stride, myself. Not for me – and certainly not as a wife and mama; when I see my family members disappointed by others.

What I do know, is that sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some. Sometimes others bless us, and sometimes they neglect us. It’s a “spin the wheel” kind of thing. And you never know just who it will land on. The more you care for someone, the more it hurts when they are the ones who disappoint.

It can be easy for me to want to bail on someone when they disappoint me. I want to say, “I’m done.” For if they so obviously don’t care as much as I do, why invest the time? And I do believe healthy boundaries should be set in relationships so you don’t set yourself up to be hurt over and over and over again. So you don’t set yourself up to be used.

But, I also believe – no, I KNOW, that I have disappointed others. And I didn’t mean to.  I would never intentionally hurt someone else. So, maybe, I need to give others the same grace that I would like extended to me when I disappoint.

Grace.  And mercy.

I would still like to enjoy “being loved” as much as I enjoy “loving.” I would still like to be blessed, instead of neglected. But I know I can’t go through life accepting one, without the other. That’s not how it works.

So, I continue to love. And I continue to get hurt.

And I continue to live. 


That's the price of love.

We Need Other People To Speak Into Our Lives

We need other people to speak into our lives.

It can be so easy to live life today without true connections with others. We don’t like any churches so we say we will just live by faith at home.  We don’t want to do “Small groups” or “connection groups” if we DO do church because it can be uncomfortable or we don’t particularly click with the people we were placed with.  We don’t go to Bible Study, we don’t have close friends.

It can be isolating. Not only that, we can grow so comfortable in that isolation that we don’t see that it’s isolating.

In this kind of a life, the only voice we hear in life is our own and our immediate family’s.  We may have a great family. But family isn’t always objective.

As far as our own voice goes, we can be our most critical influence in life. We can be so hard on ourselves. Negative. Picking out all of our flaws and faults. Or on the other end of the scale, we can ignore our flaws and faults. We can gloss over areas of our heart and life that need to be worked on.

Yes, we need other people to speak into our lives. We need Godly influences. Moral people. People of character. People who are reliable and whom we can trust. We need SEVERAL people. Just as we shouldn’t only listen to one pastor or one Christian speaker, we shouldn’t just listen to one friend or influence in our life. For even if intentions are good, we can often be led astray. But if you have several people inputting and speaking into your life, then you can better filter what is being said. If people are reiterating the same thing, then usually that is advice that needs to be heeded and listened to.

It’s all for our good. For our growth.

Finding good influence can be hard, at times. Maybe you’re looking and you’re struggling to find those people whom you can trust. People who really care about you. Keep praying about it. Keep looking. Oftentimes you can find them in places you hadn’t thought of. Yes, sometimes, it’s at church, but other times it might be at the gym, or at work. Maybe it’s the fellow parent of your teen whom you keep bumping into.

Keep praying about those voices. Keep seeking them out. For we are always better together, than alone.

Forgive Yourself

Ever since we were little, most of us were told to forgive. We had to forgive our siblings when they hit us, or stole our candy, or did something not nice. We were to forgive that mean girl in class, and the neighborhood bully.

Because it was the right thing to do.

That still didn’t mean we didn’t get hurt. Our feelings got hurt as we grew up. Sometimes, we physically got hurt.  And a lot of us stopped wanting to forgive.

It’s easier at times, to lash out at someone who does something stupid, than to focus on our own short fallings.  We want to protect ourselves. We want to stop from getting hurt any more. Ever.

But in our quest to stop hurting, we forget to acknowledge some of our own feelings. Some of those feelings that have turned inward on ourselves. 

“Maybe that person was right.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe I should have stood up for myself more.”

Maybe. Those maybe’s can kill us inside.

Chances are, some things in life were our fault. But some, were not. Only we know for sure. But we can’t keep living there – in those moments of pain. The more we try to stuff down those hurts, the harder it is to move on and be free.

Yes, we need to forgive. If only to release ourselves from the grasp someone else has on us. If only to understand and know, that we too, will need forgiving for something we do at some point, somewhere in time.

But it takes time. And it takes love.

Do you love yourself enough to be able to let go of your hatred? Your bitterness? Your anger?

It’s okay. It’s okay to be happy, even though you went through great sorrow.

It’s okay to laugh, even when you’ve shed so many tears.

It’s okay to want to be alone at times. Or not to be alone at times.

Your feelings are yours alone. Yours to feel. Yours to embrace. For feelings keep us soft. They keep us moving and growing.

So forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for holding onto something that is so personal. Something that impacted you in such a great way. You’ve been hurt.

But forgive and let it go. Release it. Don’t carry it with you anymore.

It’s time to be free from those hurts and not let them own you any more.

To Be With Someone In Their Moment Of Hurting

Sometimes there are no words. Nothing you need anyone to say. Sometimes, you just need someone to hold you in their arms. To feel that they are there with you in the moment – loving you.

Sometimes we don’t always know what to say to someone else. We don’t know what to do and we understand that we can never fix their hurting heart. But we can love them. We can hold them when they cry. We can be there with them – in the moment.

Sometimes, we are by ourselves in the silence. No one is there with us. Yet, we are still hurting. Still feeling. Still needing. And in that moment, there comes to us a sense of peace and warmth. Despite the grief or loss we are feeling, we strangely feel wrapped up in love.

That’s God.  He is there with us in that moment. In that silence. He is wrapping His arms around us, loving us.

A gesture like that is so huge. So encompassing. It shows us we are not alone. We are loved. We are cared for. We will make it through.

Love is everything.

Touch is everything. It speaks loudly. Its impact lingers long after we leave. It heals. It helps. It loves.

Sometimes there ARE no words.  There IS nothing we can do  - except love. Except be there. Except hold someone in our arms and let them hurt with the knowledge they are not hurting alone.

That alone, is everything.

There Will Always Be Someone Who Doesn't Understand You

Can you live with it if you’re never understood?  That thought occurred to me one day when I was “rationalizing” in my head how someone was never going to understand what I’m all about or what I do.

And I wish they did. But, I’ve come to accept that they may never appreciate who I really am. They may never completely understand who I am as a person, or what I do for my family, or for others.

I’ve come a long way.

There were times in life where I’d fret and toil in my heart and head over the fact that someone didn’t “get” me. Now, I understand that there will always be someone in life who DOESN’T “get” me. There will always be someone who doesn’t like me. Someone who misunderstands what I’m about.

I will be misjudged.

I don’t like it. I don’t want it. But I’m making peace with it.

I’m making peace with the fact that some people will never understand my heart and soul because I’m learning to accept myself more. I’m learning to have more peace with who I am, and I’m learning to place more value in what God thinks of me, than the world.

It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I don’t have wishes of understanding or acceptance. It simply means I’ve decided not to prioritize those thoughts in my head. I don’t want to give them space where they can tamper with something good and valuable that I’m doing (and being).

I am who God has made me to be. And I’m trying to be the best ‘me’ that there can be. That has to be enough. It has to carry me through the times when others think less of me than I’d want or prefer.

Some people may never appreciate you. They may never truly understand who you are. They may never “get” your heart. That doesn’t mean their assessment of you is right. It simply means they don’t understand. But I promise you, there WILL be people who DO understand you and DO get your heart , for God always tries to encourage our hearts when we’re doing our best to stay the course in life.

Friend, you and I will both be misjudged at times. Many more times, probably. And I’m sorry for you, for those times. But I pray that you can accept who you are enough to carry you through those frustrating moments. For you are valuable, and valued for the unique and special person that you are.

Just “be” the best “you” that you can be. Find peace in that.  I have.

How We See Ourselves, Isn't Always How Others See Us

How we see ourselves, isn’t always how others see us.

I’ve written many things. Some things are coming from my own experiences in life. Others are from what I see going on around me. And I find it very interesting; that many times when I write something based on observation, some of the first people to “like” my comments, are the very people I had in mind when writing them!

We just don’t see ourselves the way others do.

I wonder, why that is? I mean, why, when we read something, can we see and recognize good thoughts or values, without seeing maybe flaws or weaknesses in ourselves that resonate with those very words?

Is it because we rationalize our behavior to ourselves? Is it because we’re in denial? Or is it because we honestly, truly, don’t think we act a certain way?

I wonder.

I would hope that I would recognize areas of growth that are needed in my own personality and character. I would hope that I would never just ‘wave’ away an expression or thought as something that only “other” people do. I would hope, that I would be able to always take a deep hard look at myself and see where I might, possibly, have said or done something that I would normally not want to be known for.

I don’t want to over-analyze myself. I do, however, want to honestly see myself how others see me, so if something needs fixing, I can fix it.

We all see life from a kaleidoscope of colors. Colors that come from how we were raised, treated, and what values were instilled in us. It’s easy to get tunnel vision and not see things from a different viewpoint.

Maybe it’s time to stand in a different spot with a different view. Somewhere we can see things from another angle. Then, maybe, we can see what others see. Not that it’s right or wrong, just a different perspective. One that may help us to adjust a few things.

Instead of "Big," Go "Small!"

Life is like a whirlwind sometimes. It feels like you’re on this ride and you just can’t jump off. You can’t “stop” things long enough to pause, and reflect. At least – that’s how it feels, sometimes.

I know the ‘season’ of “fast.” The season that shouts at me to keep up. These are the seasons that overwhelm me. Everything seems to be needed “now.” And I try to shout back, “I’m only one person!” I don’t feel like I can possibly do it all, be it all, plus enjoy it in the process.

I’ve learned over the years what overwhelms me. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s the “Big” that overwhelms me. When I have to come up with that HUGE dinner for a large group, or I have to get 20 gifts for the holiday. “Big.”

I’ve learned though – that I can handle these situations, if I divide them up into smaller chunks of demands. “Small” is doable for me.  If I can get 2 gifts done this week instead of focusing on the 20 I need overall, it’s more manageable. If I have part of a meal pre-made, then there is less to prepare for.

Doable.

Life IS demanding. It asks a lot of us. And on our own, we each ARE only one individual person. We can only do so much on our own.  But sometimes we forget that we don’t have to do it all. We don’t have to always go for “big” and “grand.” Sometimes an easy and quick meal means just as much, because people are together making a memory – and that’s what really matters.  Sometimes we try to outdo ourselves in order to create lavish memories. But it’s not the decorations that people need to remember. It’s the love, the kindness, the time spent together that is important.

We rush about enough as it is. If we can slow down and enjoy what we are doing, how much more meaningful life will be for not just us, but those around us.

It doesn’t have to be “big.” It doesn’t have to be over-the-top gorgeous. We don’t have to spend all our money. We can do simple. Easy. “Small.” And still pay attention to details, preferences, and the heart of those we love.

Love doesn’t have a pricetag. Or a size.

Ask any mom if she prefers store-bought flowers over a handmade card from her kids filled with words of love. And she’ll tell you.

So when the world says – “GO BIG!” Instead, go “small.” And see which one is the real winner.

It's Less About Looks, And More About Heart

I’m in my early 40’s and I’m already noticing changes. Changes with physical things and changes with internal things.

As for the physical, my hair isn’t anywhere as thick as it used to be. And I struggle more with wasted calories staying with me, instead of being able to eat whatever I want and not worrying about it. 

Internally, I see life in a more mature way than I did just 10 years ago. Raising children, going on mission trips to third world countries, moving from state to state, being married for 20 years, and just aging – contribute to my viewpoints and feelings at this stage of life.

I see how little, certain things matter in the big scheme of things. I see more and more what is truly important.

The world has it all wrong.  It’s less about looks and more about the heart.  You see that, as you get older.

I don’t care if my friend is perfectly cute. I just want her to be authentic.

I don’t care as much, if someone sees me without makeup, or in my jammies.  (But I still won’t leave the house in my pj’s.)

I’ve always cared about the character and heart of a person. But now, even more so. I think I appreciate it more. I notice it quicker. And I’m less apt to analyze the outside package.

I’m in a stage of life that I want genuine, caring, authentic, compassionate, honest people in my life. I don’t want to just hear “talk,” I want “follow-through.” I want to laugh, smile, love, and hug. I want to walk alongside others, (and have them walk alongside me) and do something good for someone else. I want to cry together and be there for each other when life hurts.

I want softness of heart, mind, and soul.

That’s what I’m looking for.

Image does matter. Don’t get me wrong. We should care how we represent ourselves to the world. But it’s not everything. It has its place and it has its purpose. Image is what draws someone to you – but it’s the heart that gets them to stay.

Oh, please remember that, my friend. Look at the heart of those in your life. And value it highly.

There Will Always Be Critics

There are moments in life where we all feel like we just can’t seem to please anyone. It’s as if we are blasted from every side no matter what decision we make. 

We’ve all been there.

Those moments in time, hopefully, have taught me a thing or two.  The biggest thing I think I’ve learned from those “you can’t please anyone” moments are, that there will always be critics in your life.  If you achieve something you’ve worked hard for, there will be those who are jealous and feel like you are “lucky” or you don’t understand what being in their shoes is like. There are others who will deem you lazy or who think you lack perseverance, if you never achieve what you aim for.

It’s that way with almost everything in life.  There are those who won’t cheer you on no matter what you do. They may be jealous. They may be hurting inside and can’t come to a point where they can enjoy seeing you happy. They may be lonely. They may simply not understand.

Critics can hurt. Words do hurt and actions do hurt. So when someone criticizes you for something you’ve done, it’s normal to feel the sting of it. The thing is, we can’t let the sting stay with us for very long.

It has to be enough for us, that we know inside of our hearts that we are on the right path in our life. We have to know that we’ve prayed, sought God’s guidance, used the best wisdom, discernment, generosity (whatever the situation calls for) – that we can. We have to know that we are right with God. And that has to be enough for us. For the critics will shout, they will point, and they will glare at us no matter what.

Don’t let them win. Don’t let them steal your joy or your passion. Pray for them and then take their condemning voices out of your head.

God said we would be persecuted. It’s a given. So when the critics are aimed in your direction, just know that it’s a part of living the Christian life and walking the Christian walk. Stay humble, stay kind, and let God deal with the rest.

You Have To Understand, That No One May Understand

A husband can always think that he works harder than his wife. The wife on the other hand, will never be convinced that her job is not harder than her husband’s.

A military wife deals with her husband being gone for extended durations at a time. She will never understand how another wife can get so scared and weak, when her husband goes out of town for just two nights.

They are differences of perspective, to be sure. And life is full of them. Someone will always feel one way, while someone else will come along and challenge those very feelings that they, themselves, have conquered or endured on a greater scale.

Neither person is right or wrong. We are all simply living different lives on different scales. We all have different pressure points that are weaknesses for us. God made some of us to be tougher, and others of us to be softer. Both are beautiful in their ability to handle the life they’ve been given.

The thing is, it doesn’t help us when we are the ones going through something and we feel like our feelings are cast aside, laughed at (possibly), or ignored.  We want to feel validated. Listened to. Helped!

You have to understand, that there are some times in life, where no one may understand. Ever.

I know. It stinks. But there are just some things in life where it seems we are meant to go through them, alone. Only with our feelings, thoughts, and our God. And somehow, we have to reconcile with them.

It is good, to see what others have been able to handle. It shows us we have the ability to be stronger and tougher than we thought we could be. It’s also good to learn to be empathetic to someone else’s position and point of view – even if we feel they should handle it better. We are not them. We don’t live with their struggles – so how can we possibly ridicule someone for not being like us?

It is true. There will be times where it seems as if no one in the world understands us. (As a reminder, our God does. And He’s with us in those times.)  During these moments and challenging seasons, try to think of how you will navigate what you’re going through, if there is no one who will ever understand. Will it change your feelings? Will it impact your choices and actions?

Sometimes the times where I’ve gained the most strength, are the times where I’ve decided for myself that it doesn’t matter if no one else understands. I UNDERSTAND. And I’m committed to my viewpoint. Sure, it would be encouraging to get the affirmation of those around me – but it may not come. And if I can understand this and make some choices that will help me help myself, then that’s what I must do.

People will let us down. They will disappoint. But we can always learn how to take care of our own emotions and feelings by setting boundaries in our lives, being proactive with certain choices and decisions, and finding ways to encourage ourselves and help keep us going.

My friend, I wish with all my heart that someone would understand your feelings. But they may not. And they may not understand me. That doesn’t mean they are right and you are wrong or vice versa. It simply means they don’t walk in your shoes and see things from where you are standing.

Hang in there. Keep seeking God’s wisdom and guidance. And use this time to remind yourself to offer understanding to someone else when they seek it. For you will then know, what it’s like to stand in the shoes of the misunderstood.

What If You Knew This Moment Might Never Come Again?

If you knew it would be the last time you’d cradle your child as they fell asleep in your arms… how much longer would you hold them?

If you knew, that it would be the last time you’d see that dear older man’s smile… would you stay in his company just a bit longer?

If you knew that you’d never again be that size 3 after you have kids… would you enjoy your waist a little more and relax a lot more often?

What if you knew?

What if you knew that you’d never again get to cuddle with your sweet cat, because they would get hit by a car?

What if you knew that your finances would change and this would be the last time you and your husband would get to enjoy a fine steak dinner?

What if you knew?

Moments are brief. So many only come once.

Some people in your life will only ever get to hug you one time. Some moments of laughter will only be shared once. Same as moments of grief.

Just once.

Other moments come occasionally, but special moments change them forever. That ONE Christmas, that ONE hospital visit, that ONE ‘goodbye.’

Moments lost forever.

How would we change how we live if we knew a moment would never come again? If we knew we’d never have another chance to hug, kiss, or touch someone dear? Would we speak kinder if we knew our words only had one chance to stay forever with another soul?

Would we be less rushed, if we knew it would be the last night our kids would ever confide their hearts’ to us? Or let us tuck them in? Or even hold their hand?

Life goes by so quickly. So fast.

We have choices. Every day. Every minute. To truly live and love and soak in those around us as much as we possibly can without wasting the time that ticks by; escaping our notice, so often.

We will often be caught unaware and by surprise at the “last moments” with someone in life. We will often miss those treasured minutes that we took for granted – like rocking our baby, combing our child’s hair, and more.

We can’t go back, but we can carry them with us while trying to remember that each day is a gift. Each moment with someone – a precious present.

If we knew this moment would never come again, would we make a different choice? Say a different word? Be a different person?

What if?