Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Things Will Never Be The Same Again

You usually know those moments when you are experiencing them. Those moments that are timeless. You are making a memory and you know it. You are living a special moment with someone, or several people that are dear to your heart. And you know it will never come again. You know things will change after that moment.

I remember visiting my grandpa three weeks before he died. We knew he was dying. He knew he was dying. And I asked for a hug – knowing it would be the last time I ever hugged him. I tried to soak it in the best I could. Tried to take note of how he smelled and felt. For I knew life would change for me after that hug. I would lose my grandpa.

I knew when I dropped my daughter off at kindergarten and cried in the car. I knew from that day on, that things would never be the same. She would never simply be safe in her momma’s world. She would be exposed to people and things I had no control of. She would never just be ‘home’ with me again.

And I knew when I said ‘yes’ to my husband’s marriage proposal that life would be forever different for me. I knew the life I had known up until that point, would change. It would be new, different, exciting, and tough.

Those are the moments.  The ones where you know you are going to forever try to be reliving those hours or minutes over and over again in your heart and in your head. They are the ones that cause a lump in your throat – for you are happy and sad at the same time. Life is shifting. The ground under you is changing and you will have to adapt.

And you know it.

I recently had one of those moments. The circumstances around it will remain sacred only to me for now, but I knew …. I knew it was one of those ‘this will never be the same’ kind of time. It wasn’t lost on me.

I both love and hate these times. I hate them for what I feel I lose as the season in my life changes. I will miss what once ‘was.’ But I love them for I know that there is ‘new’ around the corner. And ‘new’ is usually motivating in some way. It forces you to grow.

It’s a privilege to be able to be a part of so many of these iconic moments in time with your loved ones. To see special ones be married, to watch graduations, to hug loved ones as they leave your life – all – a privilege.

We can try to force things to stay the same in our lives, but change will happen eventually. Kids will grow up, parents will retire, and health circumstances will alter. It’s the cycle of life. And it’s beautiful. It’s priceless. It’s ours.

Relish those moments. Smell them, feel them, and touch them the best you can. For they will never come again and things WILL never be the same. It’s the bittersweet beauty of life and love.

And it’s a treasure.

No comments: